Smart.....Aleck advice for Fencers

Discussion in 'Water Cooler' started by remistress, Jan 8, 2008.

  1. remistress

    remistress DE Bracket

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    Because I'm bored at work...and feeling snarky, the rules of this thread are to give sarcastic potentially useless advice to a fencer. Think of it as strip coaching for the bitter.

    Here I'll start:

    1) Stop attacking with your target area.
    2) Stop sucking.
    3) Yes, of course you should continue to try the same wrong thing, except faster.
     
  2. lefty_monster

    lefty_monster Rookie

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    If it doesn't work, blame it on your troubled childhood. That's what Americans do with their problems.
     
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  3. campb1pr

    campb1pr Rookie

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    Hit them first. Or harder. Whichever works best for you. I really don't care.
     
  4. little_old_me

    little_old_me Rookie

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    When in doubt... yell louder.
     
  5. Warrior Princess

    Warrior Princess Rookie

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    1) The guy coming at you with a sword is over there. Stop looking at me.
    2) Yes, it's exactly like ballet.
     
  6. LTranter

    LTranter Rookie

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    This was actuallly told to me this weekend, very tongue in cheek, but all the same.

    Keep your distance.
    Don't get hit.
     
  7. Rabid Monk

    Rabid Monk DE Bracket

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    [sabrist]How's that smart-alecky?[/sabrist]
     
  8. lefty_monster

    lefty_monster Rookie

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    Well that was....unorthodox.
     
  9. jaroslav

    jaroslav Rookie

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    Slam your tip into the ground when the ref doesn't give you the point. They love it.
     
  10. Warrior Princess

    Warrior Princess Rookie

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    OO, and throw your mask too. Then they'll REALLY love it. They may even give you the point because they love it so much.
     
  11. larkmaj

    larkmaj Rookie

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    Make it ugly, you get the touch when it's ugly.
     
  12. ThatReallyHurt

    ThatReallyHurt Rookie

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    Just Like In The Princess Bride!

    Just Like In The Princess Bride!!!
     
  13. pigeonmeister

    pigeonmeister Rookie

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    .....tell him you're really not left handed
     
  14. stu

    stu Rookie

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    I'm ashamed to admit it, but I actually gave this 'advice' to a guy who asked me for hints just as I was about to fence someone else.

    'Hold the blunt end. Stick the pointy end in the other bloke. Easy.'
     
  15. Chuck

    Chuck Rookie

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    To a young fencer who persists in backing up until he only has one foot on the strip . . .

    Keep backing up, soon you will have him right where he wants you!
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2008
  16. Nolano

    Nolano Rookie

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    The best way to win is to hit them, without getting hit yourself.
     
  17. lefty_monster

    lefty_monster Rookie

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    If you hit the referee again, I will kill you.
     
  18. matt9476

    matt9476 Rookie

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    Yes, by all means, salute after every point.
     
  19. Got_Fenced_In

    Got_Fenced_In Podium

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    ..With your mask off. Common courtesy.
     
  20. remistress

    remistress DE Bracket

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    You know, it might be easier to see the target area if you got your head out of your...
     
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