Humor

Discussion in 'Water Cooler' started by jjefferies, Sep 16, 2017.

  1. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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    Lifted this from Quora
    Last month the United Nations tried to hold a global poll. They only asked a single question “Will you please give your honest opinion on how to solve the food shortages in the rest of the world”. Sadly the poll failed as it was incomprehensible to most.

    In Africa they didn’t know what “food” was

    In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” was

    In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” was

    In China they didn’t know what “opinion” was

    In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solve” was

    In South America they didn’t know what “please” was

    In the United States they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” was
     
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  2. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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    Quotation from S.F.Chron: "Nearly everything I know about S/M relationships, I learned from adopting a cat" said a Man carrying large bag of cat food at Castro Street Bus Stop.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2018
  3. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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    Ok, it's lunch and I read the Chron. where I saw this one: "I thought as I aged I'd become a lovable eccentric. Turns out I'm just annoying" <Woman in-line at Mollie Stone's Tower Market>
    And for reasons I looked to see if the name was Inquartata
     
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  4. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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  5. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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    Which country was more free for the average person in the 30’s and 40’s the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany?

    Paul Kennedy, Answered Feb 28

    First a joke from Nazi Germany. A man returns home after a spell in a concentration camp, this is before the war so it was possible and tells a neighbour about what happened.

    “Oh it was great, we had a fabulous soup for lunch, we played sports in the afternoons. At night there was a movie after an excellent dinner .” he says

    The nieghbour looks at him sceptically and says “But Hans was taken to the same camp and he says that it was aweful”

    The man looks at the neighbour and says ”I know and they just taken Hans away again.”

    Now a joke from Stalin’s Russia. On a train carrying prisoners to the Gulag one man turns to another and asks what he was in for.

    “Oh. I slept in” the man replies.

    “You slept in? I didn’t know that was a crime!”

    “Well what happened was me and a friend got drunk one night and started telling political jokes before falling asleep. In the morning, he woke up first and informed on me to the Secret Police”

    There you go, Nazi Germany and Stalin’s Russia, nice places as long as you keep your mouth shut!
     
  6. jjefferies

    jjefferies Podium

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    "Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.” - Dave Berry
     
  7. Inquartata

    Inquartata Podium

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    I thought Camping was a city in China.
     

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