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Page 7 of 7 Once a fencer gets into the rankings, everything intensifies. Your kids feel they cannot stop. This is the place where it's easy to lose sight of why your fencer enjoyed this sport. Now the meets become all about the points…which meet has the best potential for the dollars spent. The camaraderie your fencer enjoyed with their fencing friends from around the country takes a back seat to the pursuit of a coveted place on the world team.
The system is set up so that a fencer needs to go to 3-4 World competitions plus the National Competitions to make a team. The points matter. It becomes a kind of trap.
We've found that the emphasis on points and making teams can be a drain on long established friendships for kids around the country. Whereas they used to run into each other with screaming and hugs, now it is a cool, "hello." The parents see the other parents and put on a saccharine smile. There are of course long term friendships that blossom and can be comforting and wonderful. The kids that move up through the ranks together remember their beginnings and how long they have known each other. They can remember their first meets together and when their best fencing friend kicked their father in the shin.
Fencers have to perform to get that spot on the team and where before there was freedom to be friends off the strip, now a lot of fencers just cannot let their guard down. An event that would formerly have been a chance to catch up with friends now has more scheming going on than Survivor. It is a sad and subtle change over.
A fencer who is good beyond their years also runs into difficulty fencing in their age group. Some parents get upset their child has to fence a kid who can win and dominates the age group. If the fencer does participate in their age level some parents feel it is bad sportsmanship, or worse, they claim that kid is too snobby or "too good for us" to fence their age group. Either way, the kids lose out. They lose a chance to fence their best in their own age group or they feel cheated for having to do so.
Questionable refereeing that was formerly annoying can now cost a fencer a place on a team. The competition is cutthroat. There is constant psychological warfare going on between parents and clubs. Be prepared for subtle digs and mind games from parents whose children are not doing as well. Keep talking with your fencer and assure them all is well when their competitors above them engage in "King or Queen of the Hill" behavior designed to put the new kid in their place. Its tough territory for a young fencer to navigate without hurt feelings.
Fencing can bring out the best and worst in people. All sports do.
All I can say is, let the stuff roll off. Not easy, but very necessary. Let the parents that are into the emotional warfare play their games, just don't play with them.
There are a lot of good people in fencing. Find them and help your kids do the same. Watching the movie, "Searching For Bobby Fisher" is a really good way to understand the methods of intense competion. There is some interaction between two chess teachers and the way they use their students to battle each other. In one scene in the movie the kid Josh says, "Maybe it is better not to be the best, then you can lose and it is ok."
There is a definite parellel between fencing and chess tournaments!
Fencing is an excellent sport for kids but get into it with your eyes wide open and become as educated as possible!
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