|
Page 4 of 7
Parents as coaches:
As far as coaching goes, the vast majority of parents should not coach their own kids. Support them, water them, feed them, let the coaches coach. If your coach is yelling at your child after a bout and they are in tears, by all means step in. When they are on the strip, unless you are a qualified coach, don’t coach from the sidelines. At one meet, an ex coach was sitting on the side of the strip saying "stupid stupid" and banging his head on his hands as my daughter was fencing. It took all I had as a mother not to go up behind him and kick him in the butt as hard as I could. He never coached her again after that event.
We talk to our kids and find their comfort level. If we are getting too much in the way or becoming a little carried away during competitions, the kids can shoot us a signal. Accept that signal, calm down and move away. Have a spare parent near by to lean on. We all need somebody to lean on. : )
Shooting video is a great way to be near the strip, but not interfering. You will not be in the way, you’ll be distracted enough to relieve some of the intensity and do your kid some good all at the same time. It is hard for parents and a learning experience for them too. The harder the competition, the more you stress. It is not all about winning but more, trying to keep your kids calm and able to do their best.
When kids are pressed to the max in emotions and intensity, it is hard for a parent to remain calm. Neither kids nor parents should be allowed to abuse each other. If your kid is out in the hall having a huge temper tantrum because they lost, perhaps they need to grow up more before attending fencing competitions. They should get a little credit for taking it outside the competition area, but not much.
Parents should never have temper tantrums, or berate their fencers for any performance after a bout. We once heard another fencing mom reaming out her tearful fencer with: "We drove all this way, spent over a thousand dollars, and that’s all the better you could fence?" That’s not what your fencer needs to hear.
At the same time, as a parent, you have to learn how to deal with the emotional intensity of watching your kid in a close DE. We were shocked to find how close to heart-attack territory you get when your kid is at 14-14, trying to make the finals. Experience makes it a little easier, but not by much. Find another parent and give each other mutual support.
|
