How to deal...

[Magmalin]

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with especially jerky captains and/or team members? I am a fencer at our local high school, and we have some especially jerky fencers. One who thinks he’s better then everyone and according to him.. everyone else sucks. He’s the "future" of our team and everyone else should just quit. He is a very good fencer, but it gets to his head to much... I told him off the other day, but i don’t think he really got the message. Any suggestions?

[Thomas]

Your day will come. Practice hard and humiliate him in a match is all I can say. It will prove him and your captain wrong.

[Soldier]

Depends on how bad you need to be on the team, and how dire the situation is. Had a similar situation in track and cross country in high school; finally, spring of senior year, beginning of track season, the coach held a team meeting one time (when he was announcing the season's captains), and every single captain was a junior, despite very good seniors who'd given four years to the team. The entire speech essentially said "these [freshmen, sophomores, juniors] are the future of the team, you're all seniors and almost done here anyway, so what do I care about you?". All but two of us quit. One day after practice the coach was again slandering all the other seniors, talking about how "they couldn't handle it", so I just got up and told him "they could handle it, they just can't handle you", walked off, and handed in my uniform the next day.

Contrast that to my first coach (two different high schools), whom you would make yourself cut a full thirty seconds off your time for, simply because you knew he would want it.

Hmm...this first coach was accepted (though he didn't attend) into the Academy...the second never got out of the small town he lived in, was barely out of college, living with his girlfriend...coincidence, or conspiracy?

Ahem. Sorry for the rant. In any case, try bringing the situation to the coach (provided it's having significant detrimental effects on the team), or just suck it up if it really isn't that big a deal. And if it really does become that big a deal, school admin start to wonder about dwindling numbers on any team.

[Peach]

In my experience, it's the especially jerky ones who tend to drift off, but maybe that's just clubs as opposed to school teams. The ones who think they are better than everyone else seem to decide it's their coach's fault if they aren't getting extraordinary results, so they hare off to another club or another country.

[Magmalin]

Yea. I have to be on this team, its something i need. I was out of the match tonight because the squad was full, and I found out he’s slandering my name to the other team members because I told him off.
Our coach is .. a nut.. hehe I mean we love him but he’s just so..er random. I dont think I could go to the captian because even though he is one damn good fencer, i dont think something like this would matter to him. The way the person acts on the team really gives you a bad image of the sport.. you know?
Thank you all for your suggestions and help. I’m glad there are so many willing fencers to help.

[FoilyGeezer]

When it comes right down to it fencing is a sport comprised of individuals. Individual achievement is basically what drives the sport. Everyone is essentially a team of one, first; and the member of a larger team, second.

Try and focus in on your own achievement and don't worry so much about the jerks on the team. You're going to meet lots of jerks. Some of them are going to be "better" than you, some of them will be "worse". This goes for a lot more things than fencing. This is true of team mates and coaches alike. In School you're pretty much stuck with what you get. Work hard to make the most of it. Leave the badmothing to the other guys, and you'll find that you'll get a lot more enjoyment and fulfillment out of the sport, and your skills will probably improve as well.

Don't fence with your personality, fence with your skills. Being good at something at any level other than the top level is a really really subjective thing. For most fencers the ones who throw their helmets down and complain about their injustices only get so far. It's the ones who take their losses and figure out where they messed up and how not to do that again that make it to the next level. And if you stick with the sport long enough, that takes care of itself.

[Magmalin]

Wow. Thats a good bit of advice. your stuck with it, learn your mistakes and make yourself better. That really helps ^_^

- Thanks
Magmalin

[foilgal22]

u might just have 2 get used to it. he just wants attention from other people. my softball team is like that, they all think they are college bound and probably even olympic bound when they aren't, none of them are, not one single person on the team is, including me. u could maybe like when he does really bad one day and u do really good rub it in but then remeber u r only acting like he does. get used to it though, no matter where u go there are always people like this.

[jBirch]

Magmalin,

Put up with it.

Seriously. Why make an issue out of the way someone else is acting? So the guy's an arrogant prick? So what? He's either good enough to back up his words, in which case, learn from what he does and cultivate a better attitude then his obviously deficient one, or he sucks, in which case, just ignore him.

Part of fencing is learning to control ourselves well enough to take advantage of our opponents. If this guy is able to cultivate in you anything other then a desire to be the best fencer then he's achieved his goal of beating you. If you can't control your own emotions and responses, what makes you think you can control your blade or your opponent on the piste? The piste is what matters and you have to be able to be unperturbed by anyone or anything else. Let him brag. Let him trash talk. Let him posture. Learn to fence and ignore the rest.

One more time for emphasis:

Learn to fence and ignore the rest.

If all you're looking for is ways to get back at this guy and bring him down (and you up) you've missed the point of learning to fence.

Hope this helps.

[Magmalin]

Righteo. Getting back at someone is pointless. Ive learned that over the years. Im not in the game to get back at him, not at all. That goes way around what Ive tried to say, Im in fencing, to fence. Period. Not to get back at him, not to rub it in his face. Nothing of the sort. Im not looking for self advancment, Im in the sport because its something I enjoy. No sport, or anything for that matter, really needs to be used to be smashed into someones face. People, of coarse, do it, but I'm not going to stoop low. I have never, nor will I ever be, in a sport for self advancement, and to get back at teamates i do not like. I play sports for the teamwork, the thrill or winning, and the knowing of you must improve when you loose.

It just seems like I need to ignore him. I agree with you, If i cant control myself, my emotions and responses, hes already beaten me. That, makes me look at it in a new way. Thank you.

If I see he is better then me, then learn from him, and make a better attitude then his.

Thanks for the great deal of help,

Magmalin

[labouche]

I'd say to just ignore him. It's not worth doing anything else to people who act like that.
-la bouche

[foilgal22]

i thought of this doing school when i had nothing better to do:

~he starves for attention because he can't get it anywhere else...

~does he do these things in front of every1 or just u cause he might like u if it's just u

~go along with it, say he is the greatest not sarcastically either, if every1 knows it then he might not say it anymore