Warning Labels and Lawsuits or Warning: These labels are wacky

[DHCJr]

I was reading CNN Offbeat news and it reminded me of a previous thread of why Armorers in the U.S. insist on a mask check. The title of this was Warning: These labels are wacky

"Harmful if swallowed" was on a fishing lure. If only Carp could read was their comment. This was only the #4.

Taking first prize last week was a warning found on a bottle of drain cleaner. The label reads: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

2nd prize: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

They didn't list #3

Here are some of their further comments.

But organizers of the contest, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, say it highlights the lengths to which manufacturers will go in order to avoid lawsuits stemming from misuse of consumer products.

"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit group working to raise public awareness of how the explosion in litigation is harming the country.

"It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."

[Black Jeebus]

I say remove all warning labels and make it illegal to misuse a product that results in injury. In fact make it a crime punishable by death. That way if their own stupidity doesnt take them out of the gene pool we can after their near miss.

[thyme_daniels]

Originally posted by Black Jeebus
I say remove all warning labels and make it illegal to misuse a product that results in injury. In fact make it a crime punishable by death. That way if their own stupidity doesnt take them out of the gene pool we can after their near miss.

what? eh...a middle ground is better. well. i agree, it's a sad situation. i think i saw some movie, or read a book when someone flipped out after reading directions on how to ue a toothpick. but there really isn't much we can do about it. we can find it entertaining.

[Black Jeebus]

I'm completely serious, let nature takes its course and let the morons be weeded out. We'll be much better off in the long run. All those people saved by that little tag on things like blow dryers and other bathroom electric devices, do we really want them contributing to the gene pool?

[thyme_daniels]

not like it would matter. they would find some way to pass their genes on. and never doubt the stupidity of...er...stupid people. it is simply shocking. and since they are still around, it has been proven that even after all this time, stupidity simply cannot be weeded out. i guess it is in our nature, some more than others.

[pkt]

DHC Jr,
Is your avatar a foto of the real you?
PK

[pkt]

I got this today from a friend. Some of the merchandise are British...

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
~ (...and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
~ (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
~ (...and that would be how???)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
~ (...but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
~ (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
~ (...and you thought????)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
~ (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
~ (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
~ (...and...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
~ (as opposed to...where?) [D'oh! inside the swimming pool! - PK]

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other uses."
~ (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
~ (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
~ (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
~ (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
[I blame the gullible, stupid kids who DID try to fly while wearing the suit. - PK]

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
~ (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
[Obviously it's happened before. Just imagine the thinking - if one can call it that - process before the latter scenario took place. - PK]

==)------------

Now, I, for one, am glad that there are obviously so many people who are so much more stupid than I am that I feel absolutely like a genius to have figured out most of these things on my own!


PK

[pkt]

Originally posted by thyme_daniels
not like it would matter. they would find some way to pass their genes on. and never doubt the stupidity of...er...stupid people. it is simply shocking. and since they are still around, it has been proven that even after all this time, stupidity simply cannot be weeded out. i guess it is in our nature, some more than others.

This is what we Chinese call "The green leaves and the red flowers complement one another."

We need the stupid people to show that the rest of us aren't.

Besides, if we are all smart - if one discounts the illegal immigrants - who would take the demeaning, thankless jobs?

PK

[Soldier]

At the risk of sounding conceited, might I point out that with a 35 ACT score and a 1440 SAT, I worked first as a dishwasher, then a furniture warehouse? And you know what? I'd take the furniture warehouse over an office or cubicle any day.

Now, a cockpit, that's just another matter entirely, but we won't go there...

[DHCJr]

Originally posted by pkt
DHC Jr,
Is your avatar a foto of the real you?
PK

I'm afrad so! I was reading 'What does your name mean?' and there were those who stated that was their name and they were not going to hide. They wanted to be addressed like they were face to face.

The picture came from my work ID. I think the camera broke after that. I wondering how long Craig will allow me to keep it, considering that it will scare any child see it.

If you want to see a scarier bunch of photos, try the FIE web site and look under SEMI.

[viojen]

Originally posted by thyme_daniels
what? eh...a middle ground is better. well. i agree, it's a sad situation. i think i saw some movie, or read a book when someone flipped out after reading directions on how to ue a toothpick. but there really isn't much we can do about it. we can find it entertaining.

Very good book. That's Wonko the Sane, as he prefers to be called, in Douglas Adams's book So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

[KShan5[PrFC]]

One would have to assume it was Adam's writing. Funny man.

I have to say those are some pretty funny labels. Expecialyl the chain saw one.

[npkeith]

You know, its funny. I worked as a nurse in an emergency department for about 6 years, and I used to stress out all the time about the number of preventable accidents I saw. Finally one night and older and infintely more experienced nurse pulled me aside and gave me the following piece of advice:

"No matter how hard you try, you can't cure stupid."

Shortly after that, I realized the other major rule of the the ED:

"S**t happens"

I started enjoying my work much more shortly after that.

[graham]

quoted from PKT's post, above:

"On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
~ (but wouldn't this save me more time)? "

I was staying with my brother oin Toronto a few years ago and one of his roommates came in with a nasty red welt on his neck. I asked what had happened and he sheepishly explained that he had been late for a meeting, his shirt collar was wrinkled, and so ...

This was an otherwise intelligent fellow. But, he was a recent engineering graduate - does that mean anything?

gt

[xcr]

On a Knife packet-
'Keep out of childern'

On a nut package
'MAY contain nuts' (Caps added)

Ill try and find others
Edit;
Heres some I found online

'Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.' on a birthday card for age 1

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

In a VCR manual section about time recording programs
"Only events in the future can be recorded on this machine, not in the past. Resetting the clock to an earlier time will not accurately record past events."

On a can of insect spray
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: This spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects. Not tested on animals."

Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado

Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.

Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.

[Joan of Ark]

The sad thing is though, they wouldn't have those on there if some one hadn't done them... on some of them any ways...

[pkt]

This is a more complete piece of the same event appearing in the Vancouver Sun in which the 3rd place winner as well as the prize money and last year's winners are listed.

PK

==)---------

http://www.canada.com/search/story.a...b-196aa2c4127e

Label cautioning buyers not to swallow fish lure among Wacky Warning winners
Canadian Press
Monday, January 12, 2004

NOVI, Mich. (AP) - If only fish could read.

A warning label on a fishing lure that sports three steel hooks advises the lure is "Harmful if swallowed." The label took fourth in the seventh annual Wacky Warning Label Contest. But organizers of the contest, the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, said it highlights the lengths to which manufacturers will go in order to avoid lawsuits stemming from misuse of consumer products. "Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert Dorigo Jones, president of M-LAW, a non-profit group working to raise public awareness of how the explosion in litigation is harming the country.

"It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."

The recently announced winning labels in this year's contest were selected from a list of M-LAW finalists by listeners of the Dick Purtan show on Detroit-area radio station WOMC-FM.

Taking first prize was a warning found on a bottle of drain cleaner. The label, submitted by Robert Brocone of Euclid, Ohio, reads: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

That label earned Brocone a $500 prize and a copy of the book, The Death of Common Sense, by Philip Howard, chairman of the legal reform group, Common Good.

The $250 second prize went to Alexander Tabarrok of Fairfax, Va., who sent in a label on a snow sled that advises users: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

Securing the third-place slot was a label on a compact-disc storage rack that warns: "Do not use as a ladder."

That warning earned Bob Skovronek, of Northville, a $100 prize.

"This 'sue first, ask questions later' mentality has not only produced wacky warning labels, it has increased the cost of products and services families use daily," Jones said.

"That's the real problem."

Last year's first prize-winner was a label on a massage chair that read: "Do not use massage chair without clothing...and never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

-
On the Net:

wackywarnings.com

© Copyright 2004 The Canadian Press

[pkt]

Originally posted by DHCJr
...

If you want to see a scarier bunch of photos, try the FIE web site and look under SEMI.

They're not that sacry... neither is your, ID fotos being what they are.

[Hint for the next time you have to have an ID foto, or for that matter, any foto featuring your face, taken. This is esp. true for specs wearers:
Tuck your chin in.
This way,
~ for specs wearer, there'll be no reflection of the flash on your specs in the foto.
~ you'll look better - we all want that, don't we? - than you'd otherwise.]

Wait till you see the new biometric-suitable fotos required for passports & other documents:
NO FACIAL EXPRESSION allowd.

It appears the biometric reader has to have some gray parameters written into their program to accept what humans are.

PK

[pkt]

Originally posted by npkeith
... Finally one night an older and infintely more experienced nurse pulled me aside and gave me the following piece of advice:

"No matter how hard you try, you can't cure stupid."

Shortly after that, I realized the other major rule of the the ED:

"S**t happens"

I started enjoying my work much more shortly after that.

Sage words indeed.

Some times one simply can't care too much.

PK

[pkt]

Originally posted by graham
quoted from PKT's post, above:

"On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
~ (but wouldn't this save me more time)? "

I was staying with my brother oin Toronto a few years ago and one of his roommates came in with a nasty red welt on his neck. I asked what had happened and he sheepishly explained that he had been late for a meeting, his shirt collar was wrinkled, and so ...

This was an otherwise intelligent fellow. But, he was a recent engineering graduate - does that mean anything?

gt

... er, Graham, seeing where you're from, this engineer guy, is he a Newfie?

Sorry, can't resist.

[For the rest of you who are not Cdns, Newfies are Newfoundlanders. The rest of Canada fairly or not, always make fun of them in more ways than one.
http://www.nfldproducts.com/jokes/]

PK