Rage

[Lee Yue Yang]

Hi guys.Does any of you get really pissed off after a really bad bout or a bad performance?How do you control it?I usually get very pissed but will try to control but sometimes,I will show my anger by maybe tossing my mask and weapon then vent everything on some of my friends and my brother.Yeah I know,that's really mean but I can't help it.What would you do instead?Thanks.

[1936]

Do u have a girlfriend? If you do it is always a good idea to take it out on her. try verbal and physical abuse and let her know that you are the man! Although some women tend to complain, in the long run they will love you for it as they see it as a sign of strength which they look up to. if you dont have a girlfriend , take it out on your weiner. I hope that ive been of some kind of help.

cheers

[JC Fedorczyk]

Learn self control. There is absolutely no reason to be throwing things if you lose a bout. You make yourself and the sport look bad. Plus if you keep it up and do it at a tournament you'll get booted.

[wpotere]

Another thing to do is remember WHY you lost the bout. Try stepping back and thinking what you did that caused you to lose. Learn from this and then turn your anger towards practice so that you won't make the same mistake again. Having a tantrum and throwing things is not sportsman like conduct and simply put, very childish. Anger is normal, as you seem to be competitive and want to win, but remember that there is always someone better than you and sometimes a bad call or mistake may occur. If you still can't control it, maybe a chat with a counselor can help you work through it. There might be a deeper reason for your anger.

Typically when a person gets that angry over losing, there is a deeper reason. Some questions to ask yourself might be...

1. Are you having fun when fencing?
2. Do you have high expectations of yourself that are out of reach of that of a normal person?
3. What are you getting out of the tantrum, what is the payoff?

I bet if you think about it, there might be deeper reason for your anger that lies off the strip...

[Thomas]

Haha oh this brings back memories. When im on the golf course and I get mad I usually take it out on a tree, with my club. And in my Kung Fu class I ALWAYS take it out during sparring. I just beat the living hell out of them. So remember its healthy to let out your rage, just keep it where it started! If you lose a match then dont torch someones house. Take your anger out IN the gym where you lost.

Do u have a girlfriend? If you do it is always a good idea to take it out on her. try verbal and physical abuse and let her know that you are the man! Although some women tend to complain, in the long run they will love you for it as they see it as a sign of strength which they look up to. if you dont have a girlfriend , take it out on your weiner. I hope that ive been of some kind of help.

Dude.....sick.

Learn self control. There is absolutely no reason to be throwing things if you lose a bout. You make yourself and the sport look bad. Plus if you keep it up and do it at a tournament you'll get booted.

No. If you hold it in the rage will destroy you from the inside. Believe me I know.

[kalivor]

Of course. If I win a bout, but fence badly, I find myself shaking my head when I walk off piste. I scowl a lot, and think about my mechanics. If I have a coach nearby, I pester them to give me a short lesson and clean up my fencing before I have to get back on piste again.

If I lose a bout, no matter how well I fence, I come off the piste angry (except against fencers that I really have no business beating. Usually.) I don't like to lose.

I don't throw things. Never throw things. The closest I ever come is popping my mask off, and letting it fall, instead of putting it down nicely. I then walk around scowling for a while, and take a shower (if I was just eliminated). I go over every hit, for and against in my head, replaying it to see if I could do anything better.

If not, then my anger subsides. If so, then my anger gets a direction, training-wise. If I'm not sure about any of the hits, I talk to a coach or teammate who may have been watching, or find the director and talk to them, to find out what it was I was doing wrong. I do this politely, particularly with the directors ... what they see is "right," regardless of how well/properly I think I performed my actions. It's my job to figure out how they see things.

Generally, by the time I've showered, I'm in a good mood. I've either fenced as well as I'm capable of (rarely), or have pointed out to myself the things I did poorly, and need to concentrate on in practice.

Though I'll still be complaining about those one or two missed calls a week later. I lost entirely because of those points, and not the 13 or 14 others that were scored against me in the same bout. Of course. And I deserved any bad calls made in my favour, so it's not like they balanced out. Of course.

[danp]

I'm generally pretty balanced about losing, but as things have progressed with my fencing, I've felt more frustrated trying to overcome some really bad habits. In the beginning, it was all uphill learning, and there was no self expectation of much progress... Now, I've hit a plateau, and last night it came to a boil...

In a million years, I would never show poor sportsmanship or let my competitors know how angry I was - instead I just left and went for a good hard run at the local track and burned whatever fuel I had left on wind sprints.

This sport is uniquely confounding. At it's high, it has me walking on air. At it's low, it has me wanting to go home and turn all of my weapons into shish-kabob skewers and take up a nice simple sport like rugby or bull fighting.

Fencing is very personal. Two people get up on a strip, and one person gets a right proper beating. Learn to channel the anger. Me, I get the hell out and run and think. Give yourself the opportunity to be ominous and brooding, then get over it.

Good luck.
-Dan

Originally posted by Lee Yue Yang
Hi guys.Does any of you get really pissed off after a really bad bout or a bad performance?How do you control it?I usually get very pissed but will try to control but sometimes,I will show my anger by maybe tossing my mask and weapon then vent everything on some of my friends and my brother.Yeah I know,that's really mean but I can't help it.What would you do instead?Thanks.

[The0ne]

I control it until I get home, then I listen to some loud music and do push-ups.

[fencergal33]

I just try to remember why I'm there to begin with. I started fencing because it's supposed to be fun. I'm a really competative person by nature, so sometimes it's hard, but I just have to remember that in the long run, it's only a game.

[frenzl]

it is best to get the rage out but only in healthy ways like beating up your brother, baeting up next person you fence, or going for a long run

[Tireur]

What do you mean by "bad" bout?
Does it translate to "lost" bout?
Do you act this way in other parts of your life?

Things to know before people can give you real advice?

[Mo]

If you have uncontrollable rage go take it out on some non living inanimate object.
NEVER EVER take out your anger on your girlfriend, your brother/sister, your dog, NONE of that. It is never ever acceptable. NEVER.
If you cannot handle the emotion of fencing try swimming competitively. It is a great way to work out anger and no one is harmed in the process.
As with all things, there is a personal responsibility when engaging in a sport. If you cannot be a responsible fencer then wait until you can be. Being a poor loser is just tacky.

[Delmont]

I for one go sparring. There are 3 or 4 guys around here who are always willing to try to beat me up, 2 of them can do it most of the time too. Or I listen to loud music, or prectice katana. Fencing just isn't, well, violent enough when I'm pissed. I agree with Thomas, that is sick.... Don't take it out on your girlfriend or you won't have one. It is very good to let it out. So go ahead and do it. If nothing else, kick the everliving crap out of a heavy bag. Thats always helpful.

[jeff]

Listen to what Mo said - right on the money!

Never take out your anger on others. If you truly have "uncontrollable rage" then you need to learn how to control it, or maybe need professional attention. Some people make the excuse "I can't help it" rather than exercise self-discipline. If you're angry getting off the strip, go walk around the room, do 100 lunges, whatever, but get a grip on yourself.

In fencing, inability to control yourself will make you easy meat for other fencers who will learn to provoke you and get you to lose your cool. I've seen people get reputations for being a jerk that followed them for years. That's a good way to get directors to notice you in a way that guarantees that calls will go against you, and get other fencers to line up to beat the stuffing out of you. Not a good career move.

In fencing, like in other martial arts, the first person to master is yourself.

[kalivor]

Whoa! The original post never said "uncontrollable rage," nor did it suggest any violence towards people. The term used was "venting," which I have only ever seen before as meaning excessive complaining towards, not abuse (physical or verbal).

Some of these responses sound as if the poster said "I get angry when I fence, then beat up my girlfriend." I believe, however, that he means "I get angry when I fence, and can't find a good outlet for it. Does this happen to you? How do you deal with it?"

[Army Fencer]

Interesting.

I've had a similar experiences with fencing, but not nearly quite so extreme. I don't consider myself an angry person, but I sometimes allow myself to be more emotional than I should.

I was a good fencer in college, probably the best on my team. If I lost a bout, I would get angry at myself because I let the team down. Then I analyzed everything. Every touch is important, right? When I lost a touch, I would get angry at myself. Pretty soon, if I went 5-2 instead of 5-0, I would get angry at myself. I never threw a mask or had a temper tantrum, but I beat myself up hard. The semester I did this the most was the semester I hated myself the most... it wasn't pretty.

I realized now that those emotions occluded my ability to make good descisions on the strip. I was so set on making exactly the perfect touch, exactly the perfect way that I didn't let myself get the touch or let myself change where I could get a different, better touch.

Good fencers can let emotions drive their actions, to a degree. Great fencers don't.

I had to work hard on relaxing during practice and not worry about who gets the touch. That lets me get better touches, and it lets me see things from a bigger picture. Also, if there is something I do wrong, now I just change it, instead of beating myself up over it. When the day is done, I write down any particular notes about things I learned. But I don't try to think about that during the tournament.

In conclusion, if fencing is important to you, angry will only make your fencing worse. It can also hurt who you are outside of fencing. Work on relaxing during practice, and don't worry so much about who gets during the bout, worry about that after the day is through.

[Capt. Slo-mo]

Originally posted by 1936
Do u have a girlfriend? If you do it is always a good idea to take it out on her. try verbal and physical abuse and let her know that you are the man!

Dude...sarcasm is soooooo wasted on the youth of today!

[jeff]

Fair enough, kalivor. I was incorrectly merging Lee Yue Yang's post with some of the (presumably joking) responses. Still, people who throw masks across the room and otherwise make a nuisance of themselves attract attention that works against them.

FWIW, I always competed better when a bit angry - I used it to keep focus and motivate myself to work harder for the touch, rather than slack off.

[morael]

There are many many many "reasons" to be angry, many more than a bad bout at fencing... So basically, it's a good idea to take hold of the problem. Cause it will keep coming up, no matter where you are.

When you feel that first wave of heat, try to stay in neutral. No need to do or say anything. Throwing things will just feed the frustration and won't do much for your reputation as an ultra-cool fencer. Besides, you want your passion and energy to go into fencing, not trashing your gear. Try to go off by yourself for a while, take a walk or something, don't think about anything in particular (especially whatever it was that set you off), and just let yourself cool down. This isn't bottling it up; anger isn't a "thing" that has to be one place or another. It really can just go away. Later, when you've calmed down, you can analyze your bout and see what went wrong, what went right.

If you're a philosophical type, here's a technique that my meditation teacher told me when I asked him the same question, how to deal with anger. Don't hold anger in, or let it out. There's nothing to be held in or let out. Look right in at the anger itself. Just look at it, without analyzing or judging it or yourself or whatever made you mad. (Strangely, for something so simple, you might find it takes a little practice.)

[retardedspleen]

Originally posted by 1936
Do u have a girlfriend? If you do it is always a good idea to take it out on her. try verbal and physical abuse and let her know that you are the man! Although some women tend to complain, in the long run they will love you for it as they see it as a sign of strength which they look up to. if you dont have a girlfriend , take it out on your weiner. I hope that ive been of some kind of help.

cheers

although i know its a joke...did i really just read that? And laugh? yeah....i think i did. this reminded me of a site i read a few weeks back...http://www.angelfire.com/vt2/g_hols/Niceguy i thought it was pretty dead on for todays youth at least.


dude, i know how it is, and as easy as this sounds, you just gotta relax, although when i lose a major bout, i still get mad, and cuss, and make a big fuss about it, i dont do it too publicly. just gotta let it roll off your back. If your gunna hit something, make sure its not too hard...dont wanna hurt yourself



Chris Triplett