Rage

[Lee Yue Yang]

Originally posted by pkt
Lee Yue Yang,
I'd still like to know if your names, in the traditional format, i.e. LEE is your last (family) name or otherwise.

PK

My family name is Lee.My name is Yue Yang.I'm Chinese.

Well anyway,thank you once again for all the great advice that you guys have given me.Really appreciated it.

By the way,just to let you guys know,I'm not getting so angry anymore.I recently got taken out in an epee quarter-finals bout and I did'nt feel the least angry!I'm not sure if I can be like that forever but I shall soon find out I think.

[Lee Yue Yang]

Oh I forgot to mention that the score was 15-14...At other times,I would have blown!

[Rolls]

Originally posted by CarlKnoch
The "but" in the first sentence shows that you indeed are not in control. If you have this peoblem in more than just fencing, like during everyday life, then go get counselling. The definition of uncontrollable is that you can't stop yourself from doing it ALL the time. Sure you're not uncontrollably hurting people, but this anger that you Must vent from is just the stepping stone to bigger and worse things to come. Best to learn to control it now, than wait until something worse happens from the escalation.

I would be willing to bet that it's virtually impossible for even a professional to diagnose someone with uncontrolable anger over the internet.

How often do you hear a person who laughs a lot get told that they should visit a counselor?

I think to often we look badly at people who get angry. Why? I firmly believe that there is a time and a place to get angry AND to even yell at someone. Just as there is a time to hit someone (in self defense), getting angry with someone allows them to know that whatever they did pissed you off. With that being said, at a fencing competition, I would suggest only showing very moderated anger. If you're not angry over losing, then I doubt that you cared much about winning.

On a side note, I don't know of very many fencers who fence better when they are angry.

Rolls.

[Joan of Ark]

Originally posted by Lee Yue Yang
Oh I forgot to mention that the score was 15-14...At other times,I would have blown!

Those are really tough to get over. I mean your so close... then BAMM!! They're right there. Hope you can continue to keep yourself from blowing up!!!

[JAySE SUiCiDE]

On a side note, I don't know of very many fencers who fence better when they are angry.

this is true. i know for me atleast, when im angry, i dont care, have no motivation, etc..and so do a lot of kids i know. it was funny, my coach says to me once at a competition "you know..you fence a lot better when im not yelling at you from the side of the strip." and my friend laughs and goes "really?" cause of how obvious it was and the way he said it..but its true. some people can take it, some cant. its all personal choice. errr..personal..something. but..what you feel on the situation depends on who you are. thats it.

~Jes

[Joan of Ark]

I can't stand it when my coach gives me advise durring the bout. It adds a lot of stress. In fact at some of the larger tourneys, I don't like my coach anywhere near the stip while Im fencing. I let my dad set up the cammcorder, record the bout, then show it to my coach. After he watches that little clip he can give me advise for the next time I fence her/him or the bout comming up. My old coach showed up at the strip today, he did that whilke I was fencing his son. He was coaching ME! What was bad though, is that his advise helped me win- the total opposite of what he wanted. All the stuff he told me was right, so, for the first time EVER I followed his advise and I beat his so 5-1!! HA HA HA

[pkt]

Originally posted by JAySE SUiCiDE
this is true. i know for me at least, when im angry, i dont care, have no motivation, etc..and so do a lot of kids i know.
...
some people can take it, some cant. its all personal choice. errr..personal..something. but..what you feel on the situation depends on who you are. thats it.

~Jes

Jes,

You're in grade 9 and you and your friends have an anger managment problem!?

You ain't seen frustration in life yet!

One of the main things you have to learn in ANY sport is :
DISCIPLINE.

Hence foil is a discipline, so is epee, etc.

If you want to go far in life, you better learn to discipline yourself.

If you're in the armed forces and if you don't have discipline, people will die.
When you're competing, if you don't have any discipline, you lose. When you lose you get angry.

Originally posted by JAySE SUiCiDE
...when im angry, i dont care, have no motivation, etc..

I hope you can see the downward spiral this anger, this lack of discipline will lead you.

So, I wish you, as well as Lee who started this thread, will reflect on the destructive nature of the lack of control of one's anger can and will lead.

This destructiveness may and will affect people around you.

Some examples: Road rage, spousal abuse, losing one's job, and in this social climate where guns are rampant, you might end up getting shot, if not you someone who's a peacemaker maight. This has happened recently in Vancouver. My nephew also tried to intervene in a fight and HE got beaten up for being a peacemaker...

So, sit down and think about what WILL happen if you do not control your anger.

Lee,
百忍成金

PK

[JAySE SUiCiDE]

Originally posted by pkt
Jes,

You're in grade 9 and you and your friends have an anger managment problem!?

You ain't seen frustration in life yet!

One of the main things you have to learn in ANY sport is :
DISCIPLINE.

Hence foil is a discipline, so is epee, etc.

If you want to go far in life, you better learn to discipline yourself.

If you're in the armed forces and if you don't have discipline, people will die.
When you're competing, if you don't have any discipline, you lose. When you lose you get angry.



I hope you can see the downward spiral this anger, this lack of discipline will lead you.

So, I wish you, as well as Lee who started this thread, will reflect on the destructive nature of the lack of control of one's anger can and will lead.

This destructiveness may and will affect people around you.

Some examples: Road rage, spousal abuse, losing one's job, and in this social climate where guns are rampant, you might end up getting shot, if not you someone who's a peacemaker maight. This has happened recently in Vancouver. My nephew also tried to intervene in a fight and HE got beaten up for being a peacemaker...

So, sit down and think about what WILL happen if you do not control your anger.

Lee,
百忍成金

PK

ahh..i ment anger management when i/they fence..not in real life all the time.

and i learned my lesson when i was so mad i turned my back on my coach when he was trying to talk to me, and im thankful as anything he didnt beat me right then and there but needless to say, i felt horrible right afterwards that i had done that, and ever since then im trying to control my anger, and i think i've been pretty sucessful.

and im trying to use the advice someone said (i forget who) that after every touch against you, you shouldnt get mad, but you should just let it roll right off of your back. its a smart bit of advice.

~Jes

[Peach]

I've gotten better at managing my anger and disappointment after losing a DE. I smile, shake hands, thank the director, get my stuff gathered together--but my teammates have learned not to have any chat with me until a couple of minutes after it's over . . . I don't even notice how I feel until, as recently happened, a friend said to me, "A bunch of us are getting together to go out to dinner tonight," as I was unhooking. I looked at her blankly and said, with an effort, "I can't have an actual conversation just yet, I hope you don't mind." It was funny, I didn't know I was angry until I had to say something.

Of course, it was a 9-10 loss to someone I beat 5-0 in the pools, which could have something to do with it.

[Tireur]

I guess this is another sign I'm out of touch. I get amazed at young people,(teenagers and early to mid-twenties) who get absolutely livid when beaten by someone who's been fencing longer than they've been alive.

Only used to see this in children, now it seems pervasive.

[Fechter1]

When I was on my college team, I used to have to go into the next room and punch a wall or something whenever I lost a bout (didn't happen all too often, thank God). At the time it really hepled me focus on the next bout, and the times when I lost two bouts in a row were extremely rar back then. Most inportantly, I never blamed anyone else for my losses, and I never took it out on anyone but myself.

But I think I've gotten a bit better about my anger management. I still lose bouts to frustration every now and then, but that, too is getting better. These days I just retreat into thoughts, and try to analyse what happened, and move on. And I'm good to go in a few minutes.

[sabreur]

Originally posted by pkt

Hence foil is a discipline, so is epee, etc.

But sabre is a way of life.

MR