Those were the days!

[Louweasel]

This made me laugh, in a nostalgic way, so I thought I'd share:

"According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were
born
in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have
survived, because...

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint,
which
was promptly chewed and licked.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or
cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.
When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip flops and
fluorescent
'clackers' on our wheels.
As children, we would ride in cars with no air bags.
Riding
in the passenger seat was a treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle - tasted
the same.
We ate dripping sandwiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy
pop
with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always
outside playing.
We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no
one
actually died from this.
We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went
top speed
down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running
into
stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we
were back
before it got dark. No one was able to reach us all day and no one
minded.
We did not have Playstations or X-Boxes, no video games at all.
No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no
mobile
phones, no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms.
We had friends - we went outside and found them.
We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball
really hurt.
We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there
were no
lawsuits. They were accidents. We learnt not to do the same thing
again.
We had fights, punched each other hard and got black and blue - we
learned
to get over it.
We walked to friend's homes.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and
although we were told it would happen, we did not have very many eyes out, nor did the live stuff live inside us forever.
We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.
Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem
solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion
of
innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and
responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're
one of
them. Congratulations!"

[Popper]

Amen brother.. Amen...

[Ramrod]

Kick-the-can used to be one of my favorites to play on a warm summer evening.

You knew it was time to come home when you saw your porch light on.

[2Sirius]

My wife and I were just talking last night about how we used to be gone all day riding our bikes all over the place. No one had a cell phone, no way to keep in touch -- and our parents didn't worry!

Now I have my own kids, and I would never let them out of my sight like that for any length of time, or at least not without having them check in with me every now and then. Not that they are old enough for me to worry about that, yet. My oldest kid is only 4.5 years. But watching him ride his bike down the street got me thinking.

It is sad to me that I can't allow my kids the same kind of freedom that I enjoyed. We've recently had a spate of child molestations, shootings/stabbings at schools, drinking/drug parties sanctioned by kid's "parents" (and I use the term loosely) in my area. One of the molesters was a principal or assistant principal at an elementary school. He had previously been convicted in another state, and our state didn't do a background check before hiring him. Another was a priest. It was enough to send me to the internet site for known child molesters in my area - you can search it by zip code on the internet in my state. OMG! There are so many in my city, right around my neighborhood! 300 or so at last count in my city. Have they really proliferated so much, or were they out there in those numbers when I was a kid? Am I just an alarmist about my kids?

I'm starting to teach my 4.5 year old how to yell for help, how to recognize suspicous characters, not to talk to strangers, etc. Anybody else creeped out by this? What are you teaching your kids? John Walsh has a good program called Street Smart Kids. Teaches them how to get out of the trunk of a car, how to passively delay kidnappers, how to keep the driver of a car from steering, etc. Anybody using this? I'm sort of new at the parenting thing and I'm wondering how concerned I should be. I don't want my kids to be paranoid, but I'd rather have that than no kids.

[Peach]

It's just as safe now to be a kid as it was then; the panic about child molestation and attacks is not caused by any statistical increase over the decades, but by the fondness of the media for reporting these things and the human tendency to attribute significance to anecdotes.

Children who are molested or attacked tend to be (note I am not saying they always are) children who are neglected in the first place. Those children are (a) needy for attention, (b) unsupervised (c) have no one who will listen to them when they are distressed. If you care about your kids, talk to them, know what they're doing and where they're going, and don't hand them over to untrustworthy people just to get them out of your hair, the odds are incredibly high that they will be fine.

[swordsen]

I'm with Peach. The numbers haven't changed, just the PR has. Used to be if you let your kid go out and he (or she) climbed a tree, fell and broke theit leg you took them to the hospital and it was over. Now you take them to the hospital, get grilled on why you are neglecting your child, and maybe getr sued by some officious twit.

[jeff]

I'm sympathetic to these sentiments, but remember that in the old days there was more unnoticed and untreated abuse and preventable harm. It's sad that 2Sirius has to look up potential child molesters on the Internet, but in the old days it would have just been hushed up and more kids would have been victimised.

Kids really did get brain damage due to lead paint or falling off a bike without a helmet. And we became a much more violent society (used to be gang members carried knives; then it became guns) so the risks really have changed. We also became more sedentary: take away the damn video games and get the kids outside playing (with somebody keeping an eye on 'em). Or bring them to the fencing club...

[swordsen]

I do not believe that today is any more violent or dangerous than the 60's, the 50's. or for that matter, the 1860's.

[2Sirius]

Peach,
Is what you said about child molestation being no more prevalent now a fact, or is that your opinion? Don't get me wrong. I'm not disputing you, because I have no facts on the matter at all. It just alarmed me that I have 240 (I actually counted the ones listed on the website) sexual offenders in my county -- within 20 miles of my house. Is my county unusual, or have these kinds of numbers always been around?

I realize that child molesters prey on neglected, ignored, or attention starved children. But how little supervision is necessary to constitute neglect? Can I safely allow my kids to run the neighborhood with no adult supervision, like I did?

Also, my dad says he never had to worry about gangs, just schoolyard bullies. The worst problem I had at school was getting jumped by a school gang and getting beaten up in the bathroom, no weapons were involved. Now it seems you can't argue with anyone without fear of getting shot or stabbed. At least around here. We have at least 1 or 2 stabbings/shootings/guns brought to school incidents per week around here. And that's just the ones the teachers know about and report. Has that sort of thing always been the case, and now we just hear more about it?

Maybe I should move.

It's amazing how paranoid you get just watching your son ride his bike down the sidewalk, isn't it?

[Peach]

Statistics. I'm a teacher, & have a Ph.D. in education, & I have developed the habit of reading the literature and basing my assertions on numbers, not news stories. I don't have a citation for you, because I'm not doing graduate school any more so I throw things out without making index cards for every citation any more. Sorry.

The majority of child molesters, BTW, are family members of the children they abused. The predatory stranger abuser is very rare. You do seem to have an unusual number of registered offenders in your neighborhood--but I don't know whether that is true or whether it's just because in the last few years we have developed the idea of "registering" sexual offenders, whatever their offense. Someone I know would have been one of those, because in the 60s he was convicted of statury rape when he was 17 and his girlfriend was 15. So I'd be interested in knowing the breakdown of "registered sexual offenders" in general by type of offense. Anyone know?

We don't have stabbings or shootings at my school. We do have jerks and bullies, and we sit on them immediately.

I've been teaching in my present school for 10 years. It's suburban and private. My kid went through the local public schools through 8th grade, and was never bothered. I lasted as a teacher in the Philadelphia school district for three days--and I was one of the few ones who was lucky enough to get an elementary school classroom for my first assignment. Location does matter.

[damion18d]

Peach, I would be very interested in your thoughts on how involved or uninvolved you see the parents of your students being. I know there is no broad sweeping answer that covers everyone. Of course there will be the extremes. Also what about the behavior or lack there of, children without involved parents.
Ken

[Peach]

The parents at my school are rabidly involved. Some of them are just great, raising kids who play an instrument well, sing in a choir beautifully, play squash or golf or other lifetime sport, write clearly, read prolifically, and can hold a reasonable conversation with anyone.

Some of the other parents at my school need to get a life, because they are either pushing their kids so hard they're going to have a nervous breakdown in college or they're sucking all the creativity and life out of their kids by micro-managing their every moment and doing their homework for them. Others are neglecting their children shamefully, because they have so much money they think throwing money at a kid will raise him. Some of my students are being raised by au pairs or tutors.

All of the parents are successful in one way or another, and many of them are sending their children to my school because they are terrified that their children won't do as well as they have.

I did part of my research in an urban public school, and the parents there were incredibly involved. They were in the hallways, in the classrooms, showing up at night for classes, going on field trips.

So my take on parental involvement is different from the usual teacher moaning, and I'm probably the wrong person to ask.

[damion18d]

Thanks for your insights.
Ken

[MyraTrue]

You know, I was one of those early 80's kids, and I was quite independantly happy. And I admit to looking at the kids that are out on their bikes or walking around town and thinking, "they're just not old enough to be out here." I do think that things have changed, and not just due to a different form of PR.

The street I grew up on had so little traffic, you'd see a car every 3 minutes as you peddled the 10 blocks until it dead-ended. I've been back recently, and I'd not turn a kid on a bike out on that street. Absolutly not. I grew up where there was very little drug activity, and no one ever heard about someone else shooting another kid at school, or a drive by shooting. Its common now, its every day... that HAS changed. But this is largely due to population growth.

That said, I DO belive parents are too protective. We all DID share a coke, all got the sniffles, and lived. We got broken bones and cuts and scrapes, and had a GREAT time doing it. Being a self entertainer led to some interesting foibles (memories of a hang glider made out of a lawn chair and trash bags...), but I think being allowed some free run by parents is needed. I agree- TALK WITH YOUR KIDS, be honest, be open, and they'll talk with you, and they'll even listen to you. Especially when it matters most.

-My'

[2Sirius]

Well, it is good to know that the upswing in child molestation reports is better(?) reporting rather than an actual increase in numbers. Sort of like the "summer of the shark" last year. From all the report of shark attacks, you'd think all sharks had contracted rabies, or something. In actuality, the number of shark attacks was actually below average.

As far as the breakdown of what type of offense each sex offender was registered for: Alabama used to break that down. The web site no longer does that. You have to "click" on each offender to determine what he's registered for. I asked a lawyer friend of mine why they no longer break it down, and she said it took too much time to enter the info onto the web in that fashion, and that the number of offenders was going up too fast to accurately break the data down on the web site!

Great! Anyone know of a good place to move?

Oh, and I've placed my school age kid into a private school. The public schools around here are hell-holes full of gangs.

[Louweasel]

Good grief. What have I started?!

Just my two penn'orth but I'm a bit sceptical about those internet sites for sex offenders ( we don't have them here in the UK) as a while back there was a high profile case of this type and a tabloid "newspaper" started campaigning for such a law and published a list which led to some dangerous vigilante-ism including a woman being seriously victimised and having her door graffit-ed with the word "paedo" - she wasn't a paedophile, she was a paediatrician. But she was forced to move house.

Mobs and vigilantes = dangerous; more so as they're often stoopid.

Shootings are understandably less of a problem here but that's not to say they don't happen. And with all the other stories you hear, it must be difficult for parents to know what to think and I understand their caution.

I was really more amused by the bits in the piece referring to the litigious nature of modern life, and the little nostalgic touches - I vcertainly remember wearing my coat only by the hood as everyone knows that makes you a superhero!!

[2Sirius]

Louweasel
My apologies for hijacking that thread and turning it into a morbid bit of paranoia on my part. But I'm MUCH better now...

I've been to sabre class. Whacked some heads. Feeling...better...now.

[vegan]

2Sirius,
Gangs? I am curious about this- is it just rampant paranioa on your part or what? It does strike me as a bit odd, I grew up in DC (not a great area, either) and live in brooklyn (carroll gardens is very safe as long as you are nice to the italians on the corner! ). However I went to private schools (mostly) and needed to not becuase the schools were bad- but because I needed the extra help and room to learn.
Still, I am curious as to what kind of gang problems the public schools in 'bama have, and if anyone has insights as to why there (as opposed say to the bronx or DC), I'd be interested to here them.
Cheers,
B.
Ps. 2s, just keep up the sabre- it does make you feel better, right?

[2Sirius]

Ps. 2s, just keep up the sabre- it does make you feel better, right?

Much...better...now. Medication...starting...to take...effect.

Actually, I don't know about any other city in Alabama other than my own. I suppose my paranoia about gangs stems from personal experience. One of my family members has been receiving death threats from a gang here in town with national membership...long story.

I do know that in my city, there was a gang clubhouse not a block from the main police station and police academy. They have since moved 2 blocks further down the road for reasons unrelated to the presence of the police. The local politicos will deny they have problems with gang activities, but the police and FBI people we dealt with about the death threats told us that gang activity here is pretty heavy.

My city is on a major drug corridor, and I suspect this to be the reason for our gang problem. I don't know if the gangs are any more active here than elsewhere, though.

Most of the public schools here are probably not so terrible. Due to districting, the one my kid would end up in is pretty bad. I did not mean to imply organized gang activity exists in the schools. I was referring to schoolyard gangs that "jump" lone students in the halls and bathrooms. These incidents tend to be personal vendettas involving the students. What I meant to say was that the level of violence has escalated to where incidents that used to simply involve getting thumped around now end up with maiming or attempted murder.

But enough of this light banter.

[MyraTrue]

Louweasle- I always liked the towel better for being a superhero... or the blanket (but you get tangled up in those). My word of advice to all would-be superheros who decide to use the flat sheet... untuck it first, or you will choke yourself when you jump off the bunkbed.