Stumping tech support for fun and sport

[Wizardly]

Don't you just love when the tech support guys have no idea what's wrong with their products? I think I got a guy who doesn't have a clue and just wants me to go away. He hasn't said anything for the last twenty minutes.

My personal favorite tech support blow-off of all time:
"The problem isn't with the device, it's an OS error and is therefor beyond our capabilities to fix."

I once got led around in a circle by that one...the device maker blamed the daughter card, the daughter card blamed the OS, the OS blamed the device. Did two laps on that one.

What're your favorite TS blow-offs?

[Zelda]

Gotta be the tinny hold music while they ***** about you to their workmates...
I think the best one I know of was my dad's laptop was making funny beeping sounds. The computer wouldnt do anything, tried turning off, restarting everything...it went away after a couple of hours.....my mum admits to me on the phone later that day that she had accidently left her accounting stuff ON the keyboard of her computer (which is networked to dads). The cheque book had fallen off onto a key and depressed it, causing the beeping sound! She still hasnt told my dad....

[damianip]

Originally posted by Wizardly
Don't you just love when the tech support guys have no idea what's wrong with their products? I think I got a guy who doesn't have a clue and just wants me to go away. He hasn't said anything for the last twenty minutes.

My personal favorite tech support blow-off of all time:
"The problem isn't with the device, it's an OS error and is therefor beyond our capabilities to fix."

I once got led around in a circle by that one...the device maker blamed the daughter card, the daughter card blamed the OS, the OS blamed the device. Did two laps on that one.

What're your favorite TS blow-offs?

Then again, do you know what's wrong? The pot's calling the kettle black.

Remember, any time any computer successfully boots and then runs for more than one hour, it's technically a miracle.

Paolo

[Wizardly]

Sometimes I DO know what's wrong. However, you can never tell that to tech support. Sometimes, even when you've already talked to tech support for four hours but have to hang up, when you call back with the case number, they'll start you from scratch again. Sometimes I do know what's wrong; I just don't know how to fix it.

::jumps up and down chanting "fixitfixitfixit"::

[MyraTrue]

weeeeelll.... I did once call in about a computer problems (I don't remember what it was) and the tech, once I'd explained what the computer was doing, said, "Oh my God, what did you DO to it????" I had done nothing, thank you very much! It was an OS issue, I think... one of many.

I also called in several years ago, and got a tech who had "never used Windows 95 before". I was told, "but its obsolete"! But its on my computer! That was fun too...

My'

[Capt. Slo-mo]

or, best of all...the "automated" support lines that, after a large fraction of your remaining lifespan, finally send you to a live person.

Only, there's a "higher than expected" call volume, so instead, the systems sends you...back into the automated support line to start ALL OVER AGAIN!!

[Peach]

My husband's a computer consultant, and you should hear him rant about the so-called "support" he has to wade through when he's trying to track down a software fix for a client.

On the other hand, when I ask him to fix something on my computer, he usually tells me it's something I must have done, goes "tsk," grumbles at me, takes over my computer, fixes three or four things that weren't wrong, and then either finds what was really the problem or gives up in outrage. Then I fix it after he's gone away. . . and I know he knows what he's doing, so I think computers are just a mess generally.

[JAySE SUiCiDE]

Remember, any time any computer successfully boots and then runs for more than one hour, it's technically a miracle.

and they say miracles dont happen! if thats true, they happen ever hour my room..

and i too have fun stumping tech support if you would call it that..i go to High School, and we were saving something we had worked on in english. the head of the computer department said, "click 'Save As...', then the scrolldown menu, then chose the one that has your logon name in it..then double click on 'My Documents', and you can save there." needless to say, many of my friends were confused out of their minds as to what to do..and meanwhile, i had just clicked 'save as...' and saved my document where it led me to, which was 'My Documents' that she had just given the long directions to. apparently the teacher liked making kids do things the hard way..

and then i called her over to let her know that clicking 'Save as...' automatically led you to "My Documents" anyways, but she wouldnt listen. I told her i saved it by just clicking "save as", and not going through all the steps she told us to go through..and then, when i WOULD go back through the folders, i would still see my document there, so they had to be the same place.

we ended up arguing for about 10min, when i realised life would be a lot easier if i let her think she was smarter than me..

~Jes

[Peach]

Speaking as a teacher, life would be a lot easier if you realized that the teacher's instructions are not meant for you alone, but for a whole room full of students, and that they may not be meant for the specific task, but be instructions to help you do another type of task later on, such as find a different directory.

It's the end of the day and I've been talking slowly and carefully to kids all day long, don't mind me . . .

[Soldier]

Then there was our tech-ed teacher junior year whom we always knew much more than. It wasn't just him stating things more generally for the whole class; it was the whole class pointing out to him that he was just plain wrong. There was actually a time I lost points on a test because the circuit I'd diagrammed (supposed to be the simplest possible) was different from his. His was mine, three steps earlier, and hence more complicated.

He was an arrogant prick, too. Always bragged about how much money he made (helping people with tech stuff, he was always so proud of helping people; I think it gave him a power trip), even to the point that he used to burn a dollar bill at the beginning of class each day. I remember the day he officiated over one of our track meets, and stopped to clarify the rules for us. He actually told us the wrong rules.

[Catlady]

I'm of two minds on this, on one hand, I have to wonder what pool of primordial ooze they had to dredge to find some of these people (can you say shallow end of the gene pool?), on the other I did what ended up amounted to customer service (although not IT, heck I'm still not convinced that my computer isn't magic), and there's nothing like being caught between a fed up customer (who might add has been on hold forever and takes it out on me since I'm the first live person they've spoken to in some time, while I have been answering the phones as fast as humanly possible since I got in four hours earlier) and management who won't let me do diddly squat even if I know more than my supervisor after having done the job for so long, never mind said management has never done it in their lives or last did it 25 or so years ago when everything was completely different . It's just not fun.

I still think that everyone should be required to do some sort of service job for at least six months (waitressing, customer service, store cashier,etc.), that said some people are no help at all. I had a job where I finally resorted to just fixing things myself when they broke because the designated expert knew less than I did--and let me tell you I didn't know much. So anyway, don't shoot the messenger and hang in there.

[Soldier]

I agree with the service jobs. I spent a week or so as a dishwasher, and will never eat at a Cracker Barrel again. It's not that it's unsanitary, I just can't stand the smell of anything they have after so long smelling it all mixed together and watered down. There's just something about scrubbing your fingerprints off...

I also spent a few months as a stockman in a furniture warehouse. Better pay, and a much better job. That was service, but the customers were generally pretty friendly, and it's a little more rewarding actually achieving a result than just sending more dishes through the same endless cycle (I started to recognize certain distinctive chips or cracks after the fifth, sixth time in a shift).