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Please add to this: The top 100 reasons you know u r about to be beaten by your next 1. Their name ends in INSKI, KOFF or ELLO.
2. They're surrounded by OLYMPIANS who're aksing for their autograph.
3. They have someone who carries all their gear for them.
4.They use a jedi mind trick to turn the judges in their favour.
Please e-mail me with any more of your thingies to: hedwig_hagrid14@hotmail.com
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Senior Member
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you've watched them stamp, scream, throw equipment, and get right up into the face of the very cowable director already. Heaven help us all. They may not be that good, but they'll throw a tantrum until they get what they want.
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Senior Member
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You know you're about to be beaten when:
As your opponent walks to the strip, all the water bottles in the arena start doing that Tyrannosaurus water ring vibration dance from "Jurassic Park." "Sometimes we, as coaches, get into that dictator mode where you just tell and you don't listen and you don't try to understand them." Tom Izzo, Mich. St.
"Fraud is the creation of trust. And then: its betrayal."
William Black, Ph.D.
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Senior Member
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When they get that horrid steely glint of evil in their eye as you hook up. Theses are evil....VERY evil, someone rescue me pls!
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Senior Member
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When their equipment costs three times as much as yours.
When their coach actually showed up.
When they have at least 2.5 times the number of backup weapons than you do.
When your opponent and the director are talking like good old buddies.
When everyone is gathering around your strip to see how your opponent fences, and nobody knows who you are.
Last edited by Wizardly; 09-01-2003 at 05:08 AM.
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Senior Member
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...if my opponent is wearing an evil clown mask. That really freaks me out ya know. * * *
You know you have a drinking problem when you wake up in Idaho and don't remember how many aliens it took to get you there.
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Curmudgeon Emeritus
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When your director is both your opponent's coach and his father.
When your director is a large, LARGE man named Carlos and you do not fence sabre like they used to back in 1980 any more.
When your opponent is wearing lame and knickers with no name printed on either in clear defiance of the rules and no one says boo to him.
When there's a camera crew following him around.
When his lame is gold. Real gold.
When instead of shaking your hand he makes the sign of the cross over you.
When you notice that his feet don't quite touch the floor when he walks.
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Fencing Expert
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When your opponent doesn't know your name, and you know his. - Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
- To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial
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Senior Member
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when your opponent is also your coach.
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Senior Member
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Originally posted by Inquartata When your director is both your opponent's coach and his father.
When your director is a large, LARGE man named Carlos and you do not fence sabre like they used to back in 1980 any more.
Gotta love california fencing -Sabresque
"Those whippernsapper Be-Bop Bohemians!"
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Senior Member
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You watched the person fence in the bouts before you and he is 10 times faster than you and everyone else.
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Senior Member
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Fencing Expert
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When your opponent hooks up for the bout, your coach looks at the end of the strip, and casually walks away, leaving you to fence the bout alone... - Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
- To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial
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Senior Member
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When George K. gets on the PA as you're hooking up and asks everyone for a moment of silence for the fencer on strip 29--your strip--and everyone is looking at you with their hats over their hearts. "Sometimes we, as coaches, get into that dictator mode where you just tell and you don't listen and you don't try to understand them." Tom Izzo, Mich. St.
"Fraud is the creation of trust. And then: its betrayal."
William Black, Ph.D.
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Senior Member
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Originally posted by veeco When your opponent hooks up for the bout, your coach looks at the end of the strip, and casually walks away, leaving you to fence the bout alone... when your opponent hooks up for the bout, their coach looks at your end of the strip, pats their fencer on the back, and says "you can handle this one", and casually walks away, with a look on their face that says "i know the outcome of that bout!"
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Senior Member
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when you are in an International compettion and George K. is on the bout committee...
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Senior Member
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Originally posted by zeidolon ...if my opponent is wearing an evil clown mask. That really freaks me out ya know. Now, I take real offense to that statement .... Paolo is a really, really nice guy, no matter what mask he chooses to wear in a competition. If you have a problem with his choice of masks, then you should PM me, and we can resolve it in person the next time that he comes to visit me.
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I don't think this thread is about not liking people. It's about knowing you're going to lose to someone. I don't think Paolo would object to his opponent knowing he was going to lose . . . and the clown mask certainly is disconcerting, which is a genteel way of saying it freaks opponents out. "Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead." -- Dennis Pierce, 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest, detective fiction category runner-up.
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Senior Member
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People are already apologizing to the guy who's going to take your place next.
Your opponent doesn't bother with a mask.
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Senior Member
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-Your opponants club is listed as "PWF" and you don't know what that stands for 
-Your opponant is wearing the same really cool warmups that say "USA" on the back. "Their interpretation is, however, refuted most elegantly by your system of radioactive atom + amplifier + charge of gun powder + cat in a box"
-Albert Einstein, in a letter to Erwin Schrödinger
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