Did ya hear the one about Iraq?

[SJB]

In iraq, they found a case of calculators, a weapon of math destruction.

The also found a few missiles full of laxatives, well know weapons of _ss destruction.


I thought I'd post these just to lighten the mood in this forum.

[AndrewH]

You have been voted off the island.

[jusplainfencing]

oh boy...........

[S. Fisher]

Canadian humor, cute but not funny.

[Sabresque]

No, it's funny... but maybe it's because I'm easily amused. Thanks for lightening the mood, we really need it in here. (no sarcasm)

[pkt]

Originally posted by S. Fisher
Canadian humor, cute but not funny.

Hey, hey, hey, watch it or we'll turn you into fish food...:
It's Calgary humour and that's an oxymoron.
[Calgary is Cow town...]

Besides, if it IS Cdn it should be 'humour'.


SJB,
c u at the Westerns?

PK

[SJB]

Are you fencing or presiding Msr. Tang?

And yes I'll be there.

[It]

Not as bad as BRITISH humor......................... but getting close.

[Capt. Slo-mo]

OK...how about this one?

Q. How many Iraqi Republican Guards does it take to change a broken light bulb?

A. 20,000 to remove their uniforms and disappear into another room, plus one Information Minister to insist that the light bulb is, in fact, working just fine, and we are deluded in thinking it has ever been broken.

[whtouche]

oh oh, my turn:
How many U.N. weapons inspectors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Saddam Hussein says their are no light bulbs.

[Purple Fencer]

Aaaaand...how do you break up an Iraqi bingo game?

Call out B-----52!

[It]

Okay, now it's worst than BRITISH humor................. and thet just keep RAQING them up. <-------- that's bad.

[Haze]

Originally posted by pkt
...Besides, if it IS Cdn it should be 'humour'.

Well, at least you guys can spell!

Originally posted by It
Not as bad as BRITISH humor......................... but getting close.

Just 'cos you all don't understand our humour...

[135711]

i like justplainfencing's scotty dog. you know, i went through all this trauma about not liking dogs, then my old teacher insulted me, then i drew a bunch of little dogs fencing for him, and now i see we have an animated scotty dog. i really want to get a scottie dog now. the only thing is they really need a lot of attention and work.

i saw an article in the paper about these people in Denver Colorado who are just scrounging for food, families with no homes and just running around looking for food.

WHY!!! can't the government parcel off land really cheap to people so they can do subsistance farming and build a little cottage type home? If they'd just russle up an acre for each person, put a small cabin on each parcel and help people 'homestead' again, they'd be okay.

will someone vote for me for president? i'd do it, i'd give people an acre, a cabin, a horse with feed, some plain and simple roads to and from a town.

p.s. i like english humor it's fine. Favorite shows of mine were: Faulty Towers, Neighbors and the one with the Store and all the sales clerks. Rule Britania Happy Land!

I want to build some small towns.

[It]

Originally posted by Haze
Well, at least you guys can spell!




Just 'cos you all don't understand our humour...

Thank goodness!

[pkt]

We Cdns appreciate and understand British humour.
Mr. Bean, but not his movie.
Monty Python
I saw part of the Secret Policeman's Other Ball on TV to night where the Monty Python gang was on stage with 'Black Ader' boasting about how tough they had it when they were kids...

French humour is good too... When Hollywood redid 'Cousin, Cousine' it's just not the same. No one can do bedroom farce as well as the French.

Just occurred to me, maybe Pammie can answer this question: Is there such a thing as German humour? Or is that an oxymoron?
: )

Europeans call the Germans blockheads.

A German went into an auto parts store and asked for a block heater.
The sales clerk gave him a toque.

PK

[pkt]

Sorry people, all these Iraqi jokes are good.

But look at the situation on the ground in Iraq:
Who is the jokes on now?
Who is the laughing stock now?

PK

[a517dogg]

what's german for virgin?

"Gösenteit". (Say it out loud)

What's german for non-virgin?

"Brückenheimen."

[a517dogg]

I found this online.

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, “Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off.”
The English prisoner said, “Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?”
The German replied, “Ya, that vill not be a problem.”
A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, “Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?”
“Ya, that vill be done,” says the German.
The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, “Well, could you do the same as before?”
The German replies, “Vhy, ya.”
The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. “Well,” begins the Brit, “could you just...”
The German snapped, “No! We think you are trying to escape!”