HELP! coach forcing to fence

[jusplainfencing]

ok...got a question....my fencing coach has started forcing me to fence people ...people of like way high calibur and i dont want to fence these people because there so good....i always end up crying on the way home saying "im not going back to him" and im really getting frustrated.....my mom says its his "Job" to get me competitive but i dont wanna be forced to do somthing i dont want to do....i feel i should do it when i feel im ready....should i just do what he says or find another coach?


any input would help this is like really bumming me out
to where im getting to the point that ill quit if he dosent lay off...

[Zelda]

Why dont you like fencing them? Is it they hurt you (ie hit hard/flick badly) or are you scared of them? If its the former, tell your coach....if its the later, dont think of them as a person fence the action not the person. You cant let the "person" behind the mask intimidate you.

[Sarah]

First of all, whatever you do don't quit!!!!! You'll regret it. I was in a situation like that before, I know that it's frusterating, but it may help. If you feel that it's way too much, take a break, you may just need some time off. If you think that it is unfair that your coach is singling out on you, tell him that you're not ready for that type of pressure, hopefully you will convey how you feel about fencing to him. You should fence people of your own calibur and people with a higher calibur then you, to pick up your skills. That way you don't feel like you're always losing.

Hope this helps!

Sarah

[135711]

I've never heard of a coach forcing a student to fence with other students. But, you're in his salle, so go by his rules as much as possible. Most advanced students know how to fence beginners without mauling them. The other thing might be to ask you coach if he wouldn't mind helping to find one or two steady sparring partners of a higher level, then you take your lesson once or twice a week, and so forth, there's plenty to do while the others are fencing: drills, footwork, and lunges. I've been slacking on my lunges lately. Hope this helps.
I can't help but add, I've never shed one tear over a class except in my highschool french class. How long have you been in class?

[jusplainfencing]

i have been fencing with him for years.....ive never fenced with anyone else..... but im getting frustrated because i feel stupid that these people have to "Come down on my level" and i know that these people are like really good (to give you an idea of how good these people are my coach can hardly beat them if he even does) but i feel like embarassed these people have whomped me ...even after not fencing to their full potential...and i dont feel like i should be forced to fence people i dont want to....and by the way 153711 i cry easily so thats not a big shocker but i am getting really really frustrated....

[Style]

Not intending to offend you . . .

but . . .

I hate it when I see people always fencing the same person or always fencing beginners.


If the only reason you fence is to whoop on people you know you can beat, then you're not a very nice person.

Going against someone way better than you will hlep you LEARN. When you fence someone much better than yourself, ask yourself, "why did I lose?" "what can I do to improve?" "what move did he/she keep hitting me with?"

Competative sports are not for people who cry when they lose.



As for myself, I don't feel I've learned anything unless I've been beaten badly. When I fence people with less skill than myself, I always work on something that I'd like to perfect (like beat counter-beat fleche, or wrist pokes, or coupes, or doubles . . .etc).


You need to learn how to lose gracefully. In a sport where two people go against each other, there has to be one winner and one loser.

Your coach isn't trying to hurt your feelings, he's just trying to get you to fence different types of people so you don't get scared when you're at a competition.

BUT, if you're just going to be a recreational fencer, you have every right to tell your coach that you're not interested in being competitive and you just want to have fun.

Before you talk to your coach, looks inwards and ask yourself what you want to get out of fencing. If it's for fun, then go have a talk with your coach. If it's for competition, then suck it up and go fence against the best fencer in your salle, and when you lose, smile and ask your opponent what you can do to improve.

[135711]

well, don't do anything rash!

[jusplainfencing]

suck it up and go fence against the best fencer in your salle, and when you lose, smile and ask your opponent what you can do to improve.

i know people have told me this and its really good advice but its kinda easier said than done... and no i dont fence people just to womp them... theres a guy in the club who ive fenced with a couple times and hes beaten me every time but i dont mind fencing him but hes still around my level....im a perfectionist and my coach has even told me that itll make me go to the top or itll break me...because i take everything SO serious.....but im no a bad loser i just beat myself up about what i did or didnt do snd how i suck....but i guess your right just...basically shut up about it and do it.....maybe this thur. ill go up and challenge someone....maybe........

[Style]

Well, don't beat yourself up about losing.

And your coach is right about being a perfectionist. If it doesn't drive you to win, it will ruin you.

So, don't let it ruin you.


Maybe if you change your mindset when you are fencing someone who is much better than you. Don't think of it as a bout, think of it as a lesson.


We have this guy at our salle who was on the phillipine national team. This guy is crazy fast. But, every time I see him with his gear on, I ask him to fence me.

After he's done wiping the floor with me (the best I've done against him is 8-10, me having the 8), I sit down with him and start asking him questions about my footwork, my distance, my timing, how I hold my arm; the guy must think I'm nuts cause I interrogate him so much (next time I'm bringing a big white light).

But, I learn so much from him, that losing doesn't mean anything.


An old buddy of mine by the name of Shakespeare once said: "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once."

Don't be afraid to lose, don't be afriad to take risks and don't be afraid to be afraid.

[pammie003]

I'm a perfectionist too. I also used to hate getting badly beaten, but it happened all the time the first year that I was fencing competitvely, which incedentally was my first year of fencing. I was in a level where most people had been fencing for years (ahh, university). By the end of the year, I was almost dreading the tournaments. Not the fencing, just the loosing publically aspect of it. This year, I'm not with my coach because of a student exchange, and I'm not competing because of the eligibility problems that would arise when I go back to Canada. This year, this break, has let me rediscover why I started fencing in the first place, even though my entire club here can, and often does, whoop my a**. I'm not afraid to loose anymore.

Maybe a break is all you need.

[KBayDog]

Very good points, Style...

Justplain,

You need to take a step back and ask yourself this question: "What are my goals with fencing?"

Some possible angles of attack:

* Do you want to be a recreational fencer, have some fun at the club, and get a little exercise? (By the way, ther there is nothing wrong with that).

* Do you want to finish #1 at all of your tournaments? (In other words, is your goal to get as many points as possible before your opponent?)

* Do you want to gain a greater understanding of fencing? That is, do you want it to be a life-long persuit, to be the best fencer you can?


After you ask yourself that question - and be honest with yourself - you need to sit down with your coach and express your goals. Perhaps s/he does not know why you are fencing.

Fencing is a very personal activity. If your coach is not helping you get all that you can out of the sport, maybe it is time to look for another coach.


* There are some fencers in my club that have no desire to be the best. They just want to fence a little, socialize, and have a good time. That said, the coach does not spend much time with them. That sounds harsh, but it benefits both parties: The coach does not spend his time with fencers who do not want to learn, and the fencers do not waste time with lessons that will go "in one ear and out the other."

* We have a guy who learned just enough to get points on his opponents, then stopped taking lessons. (Of course, he will be "U" rated his entire life, but if that works for him...)

* The last one is my goal - to be the best fencer I possibly can. I believe that touches will come with time...I need to fully develop the tools (psychomotor) to get the touches. However, even more important, I need to constantly and critically evaluate where I am and what I need to do to advance (cognitive domain). Therefore, I fence everyone I can. I believe that every fencer can teach me something - every fencer is a "coach." (In fact, I frustrate a lot of fencers, because after every bout, I ask my opponent if they have any tips, if I am doing anything wrong, if I am being predictable, etc.) And I am not afraid to lose.

My coach knows my goal, and works hard to help me reach my goal. Also, he knows the goals of his other students, and helps them reach THEIR goals.

- Bear with me, my thesis is almost complete -

Justplain, as much as it pains me to say this, fencing is not life. The sun will rise tomorrow regardless of whether you win or lose. Go out there and have fun!

Best of luck with all you do.

[jusplainfencing]

Justplain, as much as it pains me to say this, fencing is not life.

ah but to me it is....the whole reason im fencing is to compete and make it to the olympics one day... ive been told by many people(no not my family) including my coach that i have the talent to do it(so no im not some weirdo with stupid expectations although i sound like it at the moment)....i mean i might not even get a job as it would infringe on my fening training and stuff..i think this is why im so hard on myself because i do expect alot from myself...i guess sometimes i just get over emotional....but i will try to take all ya'lls advice and just try to have fun with it while still being concentrated on what im trying to achieve.....

[Mo]

Originally posted by jusplainfencing
ah but to me it is....the whole reason im fencing is to compete and make it to the olympics one day... ive been told by many people(no not my family) including my coach that i have the talent to do it(so no im not some weirdo with stupid expectations although i sound like it at the moment)....i mean i might not even get a job as it would infringe on my fening training and stuff..i think this is why im so hard on myself because i do expect alot from myself...i guess sometimes i just get over emotional....but i will try to take all ya'lls advice and just try to have fun with it while still being concentrated on what im trying to achieve.....

Dear Jus,
You need to come up with a plan, a plan that works for you with some kind of time table.
Think hard and long and figure out what pace you want to take, what you want to achieve each year, but whatever you do, DO NOT focus on the Olympics. It is a career killer, fence for the moment.
In discussion about coaches many wise people point out that female perfectionistic fencers do not need a pushy coach. They need one that knows how to work with them. Make sure your coach knows how you feel.
Another thing, get over your fear of losing. Losing can be very informative. It gives you something to shoot for and a goal. Why not fence people who beat you?? Work on your actions so they don't beat you. It is a challenge, if you are fencing people that gloat when the beat you, well that is another thing.
Video is excellent. Study other fencers, study yourself, analyse bouts, call bouts, learn to be a referee. If you want to go whole hawg to be a fencer DO IT!!!
Now dry your tears, and quiturbichen K??
Just do it!

[fencer-person]

Every great fencer, Olympian, world champion has gone through long periods of getting their butts kicked. Its what made them great. They weren't the best so they sought out the best fencers they could and fenced with them and tried to learn from them until they could beat them.

No offense to you, but if you are afriad to lose, to fence better fencers, to get your butt kicked and still be hungry to come back for more then you will never be anything and I'm not just talking about fencing. Don't talk about making the Olympics if you can't even handle fencing some people at your club. I am being harsh because you said you want to be the best. So that's your answer.

If you just want to be a recreational fencer and enjoy the sport then do what you want. You need to decide.

- fencerperson

[damianip]

JPF,

It's simple: if you want to improve and "perfect" your fencing, you must fence any and every opponent you can find. You will lose at first (maybe a lot), but you will never improve by:

a) Fencing only your coach
b) Fencing opponents only at your level
c) Fencing the same people over and over

You need to find different, tough opponents and fence your best against them.

When you win, ask yourself how and why you won. When you lose, ask yourself how and why you lost. If your coach or a knowledgable fencer is there to provide insight, so much the better.

When some fencers win, however, don't expect all of them to be forthcoming on how they did it: it is, after all, in their interest to keep their secrets to themselves.

Keep at it and don't be afraid to lose. It's a learning experience and it builds character.

Paolo

[daeceg]

A lot of your frustration may be due to communication style differences between your coach and yourself.

If he's trying to push too hard, it may not be fun for you any more. If you're not getting the right things out of fencing any more, it will be a drag for you.

Do you need a break? Is your relationship with your coach good enough that you can address him with your worries?

My little sister was a competitive figure skater for years. Not quite Olympic class, but good enough for Nationals. She got seriously burned out on it and dropped it for a long time. Now, she's slowly getting back into it, but she misses the time she lost.

Whatever you can do to avoid getting burned out, try it.

There's a woman at her club who qualified for the Olympics in saber, but was unable to find a sponsor. In frustration, she quit completely, but is now rediscovering her love for it.

Please, don't give up.

[jusplainfencing]

man i have got more helpful information from you people than i have gotten talking to people that i actually know.....you are all right.....i just have to change my mind set .....after reading all of ya'lls posts even the brutal ones i feel better about fencing people.....and just fencing in general... i know i take minor things way to serious...and im going to try to work on it ALL....thoes people better watch out cuz im ready to fence now! --)-----



thanx to all the people that posted i feel lots better,we`ll see how i do thur. hopefully i wont wuss out

[fencer-person]

"There's a woman at her club who qualified for the Olympics in saber."


Which Olympics was that considering that Women's Sabre will be in the Olympics for the first time in 2004?

[daeceg]

Originally posted by fencer-person
"There's a woman at her club who qualified for the Olympics in saber."


Which Olympics was that considering that Women's Sabre will be in the Olympics for the first time in 2004?

My goof...foil. Reason I said that is she usually fences saber at our club. (none of the fencers except our coach come close to matching her in foil)

I'm more proud of the one touch I've scored on her than on the bouts I've had where I've dominated the round...

[Catlady]

Basically, everyone on here has all ready said what I would say, but to put it concisely, there's a quote from George Bernard Shaw that says, "You've learned something my dear, and at first it feels as if you've lost something". That goes for fencing and life, heaven knows I need to remember it more myself. Basically, stretching is uncomfortable whether that's mental, physical or emotional stretching.
On the other hand, if this is totally keeping you from wanting to fence, talk to your coach about how you're feeling. I know where you're coming from with hating always losing. Most people in my club can beat me pretty easily, and in most cases without going all out. There are days when I feel like finding a lake and dumping all my fencing eqiupment in, then jumping in after it . On the other hand, when I fence well, even if I lose, I feel so good that frankly I doubt there's a drug anywhere that could match it--for the smart alecks, no, I am not an authority on drugs, so no comments please.

I used to feel bad about asking people better than I am to fence because I thought it must be boring to have such an easy bout. Now that there are some people--rank beginners, but still-- that I'm better than, I've discovered that I was wrong. First of all, we love fencing and so we want to encourage others to fence and do their best, by fencing someone who isn't as good as you are give you a chance to do this. Second, fencing someone who isn't as good is a chance for me to work on my weak areas. I'm not just fencing down, I'm actually limiting the actions I let myself do so I can practice.

I want to say that some of us cry easily and there's nothing wrong with it. I try to be tough, but every so often it all piles up and I find myself starting to cry almost against my will. I wonder why the opposite reaction, throwing a massive tantrum is more acceptable than crying? Oh well. Buck up little camper, you'll make it yet.