Best Monty Python line

[KShan5[PrFC]]

As I have noticed there are a lot of Monty Python fans. Now, in your opinion which is the best line, or part of the movie.

Mine:

Arthur: "The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!"

Dennis: "Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

Arthur: "Be quiet!"

Dennis: "Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

Arthur: "Shut up!"

Dennis:"I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!"

Then I guess the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, someone else can have that as their vote though.

[Capt. Slo-mo]

"She turned me into a newt!"
Everyone turns to stare at the villager.
"Oi got better!"

[Zelda]

Has to be
"Alms for an ex leper?" I cant remember the rest.

[a517dogg]

Pining for the fjords

[Aoife]

From the Life of Brian:

Brian: You're all individuals!

Crowd: Yes, we're all indivuals!

Lone man: I'm not.


Or perhaps...


Brian's Mum: He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

[Joule]

Mrs Pepperpot: I strongly object to all this sex on the television, I mean, I keep falling off!

Thats gotta be one of the best, surely.

Joule

[Danzan]

I think for the sheer absurdity of it, that almost reaches some exhalted existential level, I'd have to go with:

My hovercraft is full of eels.


chris

[Capt. Slo-mo]

From the "Government Bureau of Arguments" skit:

Citizen: "Look, simply refuting everything I say is not an argument!!!"

Bureaucrat: "Yes it is."

[Craig]

The Flying Sheep sketch:

"They don't fly so much as plummet."

[Swordsman]

The funniest joke in the world.

[Artisan]

Mr Creosote:
" Better get me a bucket, I think I'm gonna puke"

[Triton]

"I didn't expect a sort of Spanish Inquisition..."

(Musical sting as three cardinals burst into the room)

"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

[Purple Fencer]

"Dennis Moore...Dennis Moore...is not in this bit."

[Bonzolium]

Spam...Spam...Spam...Spam...Spam...Spam...Spam...S pam

[Toecutter]

"Cardinal Biggles, get THE RACK!" <jarring chord>

[Dav3ey]

Originally posted by Aoife
From the Life of Brian:

Brian: You're all individuals!

Crowd: Yes, we're all indivuals!

Lone man: I'm not.

Hey -- you beat me to it!

A close second?

"...I wish I was a girlie,
just like my dear papa!"

Why do I like the Lumberjack Song? Not so sure -- maybe Tom Lehrer said it best:
"I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene, or -- as they say in New York -- sophisticated."

[Inquartata]

From "Holy Grail", I am partial to the "Bring out yer dead!" bit. For single best line I nominate the reply to "How d'ye know he's a king?"---"Hasn't got s*** all over 'im". Although "Huuuge...tracts of land" and "Please, let me have just a LITTLE peril!" also crack me up, probably it's a male thing, heh heh...

In the whole Python canon, it's SO hard to choose. In addition to those already entioned by others I like the fish license sketch, also the group of men vying for the best "when I was growing up" hardship tale.

[The_Claw]

I used to watch them when I babysat the kids next door. It was between this one and the parrot routines:

---------------------------------------------

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)

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[Dav3ey]

I bet those kids turned out just ... fine.

[The_Claw]

i think so, i was a pretty good influence, they got to watch pythons flying circus, the avengers - [da, da da daaaa daaaaa}- they were cute, the 5 year old ran around with a batman cape on all evening, he loved batman, he got to watch batman too. it was fun.
BONG