Best Monty Python line

[KShan5[PrFC]]

[i]
In that scene, I thought it was a shame that they blew most of the pyrotechnics budget on Tim's remote, random explosions. The blast of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch ("3, sir!") pulverizing the killer bunny, was disapointingly weak.
[/b]

I think it was funnier that the hand greande was so weak. A little tiny rabbit killing everyone then being blown into tiny bits by a explosion with the power of a cap gun.

[Spanky]

my presonal favourite bit is the teasing endured by king arthur at foot of the french castle's walls, in 'the holy grail' . The whole sequence is then topped by the line ' now go away or i shall be forced to taunt you a second time!' in a reedicoolus frrrench acent.

[Iwant2bafencer]

"Your Mozer (mother) was a Hhampster and your Fazer (Father) Smelt of Elder berrrries!"

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Carpe Diem
Ad Asha

[Capt. Slo-mo]

Another of my favorite bits is in the sketch where Lancelot comes to rescue the "maiden in distress," particularly where the father is instructing the guards to keep his son in the room.

"Right, he's not to leave the room..." et al.

But notice this the next time you watch the whole routine. The entire exchange is done in a single take...no cuts, no changes of camera angles. The whole long bit, impeccable timing and all.

It's a masterpiece.

[Bonzolium]

One of my favourite sketches has to be the dead parrot sketch "This parrot is deceased...it is no more...it is an ex-parrot" has got to be one of the funniest lines going and has me cracking up every time.

Also, from the Holy Grail, the whole Castle Anthrax sketch is brilliant, I don't think there is a bad sketch in that film.

[Iwant2bafencer]

Haha deja vu we were just talking about the Parrot scene in my drama class. Good times good times.

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Carpe Diem
Ad Asha

[KShan5[PrFC]]

"I f@rt (lol it gets **** when spelt correctely) in your general direction."

"I blow my nose at you!"

[Swordsman]

"Soo...if she weighs the same as a duck..."

"Then she's a witch!! Burn her! Burn her!"

Always reminds me a bit of my physics class (no burning, though), with all of us nimrods in desks trying desperately to grasp the concept while the teacher throws us little leads (some of them blatant lies) and makes fun of us the whole time.



"On second thought, let's not go there. 'tis a silly place."



"Oh, stop groveling!! Every time I try to talk to someone, it's always 'forgive me this', or 'I am not worthy'!!"

"Forgive me..."

"Stop it!"




"AAAAAAAHHHH!!"

"No, no, it's more of a 'aaaarrrrggggghhh'."

And all the rest of that scene which I would butcher were I to try to repeat it.

[Purple Fencer]

Don't forget the great visual gag in the God talks to Arthur scene...where He roll his eyes Heavenward!

"What are you doing now?"
"I'm averting my eyes, Oh Lord."
"Well don't...it's like those m,iserable psalms -- they're soooo (eyes roll) depressing. Now knock it off!"
"Yes, Lord!"
"Right!"

[Sud]

There are too many good lines to pick a favourite

What I will recall is my favourite Alexi Sayle sketch, which is pythonesque:


{Opening scene: a small shop/deli. A customer walks in }

Customer: Is this the cheeseshop?

Shopkeeper: No

Customer: Well, that's that sketch KNACKERED then isn't it!

{ end of sketch }

Short, punchy and bloody funny

[SteveMcDonough1]

Hospital corridor. A mother to be is being wheeled very fast down the corridor on a trolley, which crashes through several sets of doors. A nurse with her slips into a consultant's room, where one doctor is throwing beer mats through the crooked arm of another.

First Dr. One thousand and eight!
Nurse Mrs. moore's contractions are more frequent, Doctor.
First Dr. Good. Take her into the foetus frightening room.
Nurse Right.
They pass through into the delivery room.
First Dr.Bit bare in here today, Isn't it?
Second Dr. Yeees.
First Dr. More apparatus please, Nurse.
Nurse Yes, Doctor.
First Dr. Yes, The EEG, the BP monitor and teh AVV, Please.
Second Dr. And the machine that goes 'Ping'!
First Dr. And get the most expensive machines in case the administrator comes.
Apparatus starts pouring into the room. The mother is lost behinds various bits of equipment.
First Dr. That's better. That's much better.
Second Dr.Yeeees. more like it.
First Dr. Still something missing though. (they think hard for a few moments.)
First and second Drs. Patient?
Second Dr. Where's the patient?
First Dr. Anyone seen the patient?
Second Dr. Patient!
Nurse Ah, Here she is.
First Dr. Bring her round.
Second Dr. Mind the machine!
First Dr. Come along!
Second Dr. Jump up there. Hup!
First Dr. Hallo! Now, Don't you worry.
Second Dr. We'll soon have you cured.
First Dr. Leave it all to us. You'll never kno0w what hit you.
First and second Drs. Goodbye, Goodbye! Drips up! Injections.
Second Dr. Can I put the tube in the baby's head?
First Dr. Only if I can do the epesiotomy.
Second Dr. Okay.
First Dr. Now, legs up.
The legs are put into stirrups, while the doctors open the doors opposite.
First and Second Drs Come on, Come on, allof you. That's it, Jolly good. Come on. Come on. Spread round there.
A small hoarde enters, largely medical, but with two japanese with cameras and video equipment. The first dr. bumps into a man.
First Dr. Who are you?
Man I'm the husband.
First Dr. I'm sorry, Only people involved are allowed in here.
The husband leaves.
Mrs. Moore What do I do?
Second Dr. yes?
Mrs. Moore What do I do?
Second Dr. Nothing, dear. You're not qualified.
First Dr. Leave it to us.
Mrs. Moore What's that for?
She points at a machine.
First Dr. That's the machine that goes 'Ping'.
It goes'Ping'.
First Dr. You see. That means your baby is still alive.
Second Dr. And that's the most expensive machine in the hospital.
First Dr. Yes, it cost over three quarters of a million pounds.
Second Dr. Aren't you lucky!
Nurse. The administrator's here, Doctor.
First Dr. Switch everything on!
They do so. Everything flashes and beeps and thuds. Enter the administrator...
Administrator Good morning, gentlemen.
First and Second Drs Morning, Mr. Pycroft.
Administrator Very impressive. What are you doing this morning?
First Dr. It's a birth.
Administrator Ah! And what sort of thing is that?
Second Dr. Well, it's when we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy.
Administrator Wonderful what we can do nowadays. Ah! I see you have the machine that goes 'Ping'. This is my favourite. You see we lease this back from the company we sold it to. That way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account. They all applaud Thank you, Thank you. We try to do our best. Well, do carry on.
He leaves.
Nurse The vulva's dilating, doctor.
First Dr. Yes. There's the head. Yes, Four centimeters, five, six centimeters...
First and Second Drs Lights! Amplify the ping machine. Masks up! Suction! Eyes down for a full house! Here it comes!
The baby arrives.
First Dr. And frighten it!
They grab the baby, hold it upside down, slap it, poke tubes up its nose, hose it with cold water. Then the baby is placed on a wooden chopping block and the umbilicus is severed with a meat cleaver.
And the rough towels!
It is dried with rough towels
Show it to the mother.
It is shown to the mother
First and Second Drs That's enough! Right sedate her, number the child. measure it, blood type it and... Isolate it .
Nurse Okay, Show's over.
Mrs. Moore Is it a boy or a girl?
First Dr. Now I think it's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you? Now a word of advice. You may find that you sufer for some time a totally irrational feeling of depression. PND as we doctors call it. So lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. It's available on Betamax, VHS and Super 8.

[SteveMcDonough1]

Apologies for any spelling mistakes ("Behinds") but I was typing to beat my network, which disconnects me if I'm idling for too long on the internet.

And so that neither I nor Craig get any crap from angry copyrighters demanding royalties:

The above was taken from "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life" (scripts) Published in Softback by Methuen- (c) the Monty python partnership 1983.

The parts in the sketch were played by:

Mrs. Moore: Valerie Whittington
Nurses: Judy Loe and Imogen Bickford Smith
First Dr. Graham Chapman
Second Dr. John Cleese
Mr. Moore: Eric Idle.
Administrator: Michael Palin

Other characrters unnamed.

[Moonitic]

Umm...my favorite has to be the entire Holy Grail movie (okay, so I'm easily amused!). We had to watch it in AP English my sophomore year. Go fig!

I also love the Piston Engine sketch, but it MUST be done by a male using a very high voice.

Ahhh...high school memories. I have both of the Complete Works of Monty Python's Flying Circus in my bookcase.

[135711]

she's a camalot and she's okayy!
squwak!



[I liked that - squaaawk!]

[counter riposte]

"Wait! I can take them! There's only 150 of them!"

-Sir Bedvedere, on taking the castle anthrax and all 150 of virgins aged between 16 and 19.

[Purple Fencer]

Wasn't that Gawain (Michael Palin)? Bedevere was played by Terry Jones (Kept lifting his visor).

Lancelot runs towards the guards after Concord gets an arrow in the chest...runs through one guard and enters the castle...theother guard calmly turns after him and says "Hey!"

[KShan5[PrFC]]

No I believe it was sir Gallahad....the Chaist.

And I never saw Lancelot get an arrow in the chest, guess I must go look at it again....oh darn

[lochinvar]

The Four Yorkshiremen (or "I had it worse growing up than you did" sketch)

"There were fifteen of us, and we lived in an envelope by the side of the road..."

"Every day it was up at dawn, down a quick cuppa sulphuric acid, then off for 25 hour day at mill..."

"At night mum and dad would kill us and dance on our graves..."

"Try telling that to young people today, and they won't believe you!"

[pkt]

And now for somethig completely different...

I love Mrs. Peel, especially when she wore her cat suit... purrrrr..
She's purportedly the thinking man's sex symbol.

Steed's suits are also so perfect... and don't forget his umbrella sword.

PK

[Willow]

I've always loved Monty Python....one of my favorite tv episodes is really very simple....it involved a tennis match, a guy playing a piano, lots of extras, and lots of blood....the cover to the piano keys severs the piano player's hands, blood everywhere...chain reaction....more mayhem and blood....it's just hysterical.

I loved "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl". "Albatross.....get your Albatross!" Ahhh, memories.

"The Meaning of Life" is a great, underrated film. "Live Organ Donors" is just hysterical. The idea of you signing up to be a live organ donor and them showing up at your door to take your organs (but I'm still alive!)....oh, man, it's just so funny!

Ok, I have to go watch something of Monty Python....I'm just laughing too hard....