How do i deal with low self-esteem and pressure?

[Knight]

I know that I am a fairly good fencer to my age group but my massive problem is that if i am in a tournament of any kind, i suddenly feel really nervous and i suddenly suck... REALLY BADLY.
Once, I was at an inclub fencing tourney and when i lost my first bout against someone i was pretty confident against, I just clammed up. I tried for the next few bouts but I never did seem to be getting better.
The same thing happens when my parents or coach watch me, and when i go up against taller, older, and more experienced fencers.
I feel kind of like a baby for complaining about this, but is there anyway of fixing this problem?

[KD5MDK]

Doing it over and over again.

[Purple Fencer]

Don't let it worry you so much...it happens to everyone. After I won my first foil E rating, I couldn't win a bout in club for 2 weeks!

Don't focus on winning the bout or impressing friends/family/anyone else watching, focus on getting the next touch, and the next touch, NOT the touch you just lost, then getting the next touch....

And don't let the opponent's height, age, or experience get in the way...you can turn any of those perceived advantages to your favor if you have a coach who can show you how to do it...and you remember how when the time comes.

[JacoKierkegaard]

When you're fencing, the only things that are relevant are you and your opponent's thoughts and actions. Well, and the ref's in the conventional weapons, but that's beside the point. All that other stuff, like what people think of you and whether or not this guy is better or taller than you, is just noise that's distracting you from what's important. Focus, relax, and fence.

[Allen Evans]

Don't confuse a learning curve with a "problem". That's likely to make things worse. I would suspect that this is your first competitive sport? If it isn't -- and you've been successful in another sport -- most of the mental strategies for calming yourself and putting yourself in a good competitive state are going to work in fencing as well. If this IS your first competitive sport, you're going to have to learn those methods to put yourself into a mental state in which you can perform your best. Fortunately, there are a lot of good books out there to help.

The most important thing to know is that achieving an ideal competitive state is a skill that can be learned, and one that you can often teach to yourself.

I would start with the excellent Mental Toughness Training for Sports by James Loehr (I have an old version, but you might be able to find it at a library or Amazon). The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Gallwey is also a good book, though it might be a little too "Zen" for some.

A search on mental toughness in these fancy interwebs can also point you towards some good resources, but I think these two books are actually the best places to start.

Make the effort. You'll spend hours perfecting a parry or a lunge in practice. You should spend almost as much time working on your mental game, analyzing it, breaking it down, and finding what works for you.

A

[TBean]

Good advise from many people already. You are not alone - many fencers have to spend quite a bit of time learning to compete, just like they spent time learning to fence. I've been fencing over twenty years now - I started as an adult in my early 20's - I spent a lot of my first five years in the sport not only learning how to fence but how to compete in an individual sport (team sports until that point), and what I needed to do be ready for a competition.

Things often come easy in practice, but a tournament adds a whole other layer of expectations from yourself and expectations you might assign to others like your coach - you want to fence well to live up to his expectations or your parents - who are paying for this or taking time from their weekend to get you to the tournament so you want to do well. These external expectations and pressures are a lot to deal with - especially as a younger fencer. I recommend talking to both your coach and your parents about how you feel at a tournament, and how you get anxious about them watching or cheering. You are not the first kid who has had to ask a parent NOT to be at the strip when they fence - I have known many a successful Cadet/Junior who wished their parent in another STATE when they were fencing. Coach is a little harder to chase away, but talking to him about how to support your fencing is a first step. Also, if talking to your parents about NOT being a the strip is hard, try and get your coach on your side with that. S/he can help convince your parents that this may be a necessary, and probably temporary, step. My coach has had this conversation any number of times with parents, so a child doesn't have to be the bad guy. Most parents are understanding because they want to have the tools to be successful, and all they are trying to do is be supportive of your fencing.

I am sure they only want you to enjoy yourself at a tournament and learn how to succeed in that environment. As you gain experience and maturity many of the issues you face at a tournament will be easier. Just keep going, to develop the mental state you need to be in and the routines (warm-up, drill, lesson, eating etc.) that help you be successful. Write it down - I did XY and Z to prepare for this tournament, focused on AB and C in my fencing - and I did much better in pools this time, but lost first DE. So next time my goal is: do these same things to try and repeat the pool result, and how to better prepare for DE.

Good luck - you will get there.

[hello?]

You are putting too much pressure on yourself -- too early on. Say to yourself (and your parents): "I am not going to expect results for a year." Then, as other people have already suggested, compete as often as you can and read the books that have already been suggested.

Of course, I am working on the same things as you are! I suspect it takes many, many years to get there!

(Someone said to me once: "An action will first work in a lesson, THEN at practice at the club, THEN at a tournament. You simply want the percentages where those actions 'work' in each of those situations to keep increasing.")

As to your parents, their main goal is for YOU to succeed. If what they are doing is not helping you, talk to them. (When my daughter competed, she wanted me to be at the venue -- and THAT helped her, enough to ask me to fly to places just for that -- but I had to be behind her so that she could not see me during bouts and I was not allowed to cheer. Go figure. But that's what I did.)

[tchwojko]

Focus on your technique and your fencing, stop worrying about the result. Every moment you're worried about winning the bout or the touch is stress that doesn't help your fencing nor your enjoyment of the sport. The results will come as you fence better. Fencing better can't come from stressing out about winning or losing.

[wdragon007]

During my first tournament pools, I beat my very first opponent 3-5. I was beyond hyped. I was ready to slam my next opponent! I was unbeatable! Yaaaaaar!

My second opponent (who is a much better fencer than me) tore my limited technique apart. The bout ended with 21 seconds elapsed on the stopwatch and with a score of 5-0, my loss. I was absolutely crushed. Going into my third bout, I was completely shaken and upset. I knew that I was going to lose again and just as badly. I froze. I parried badly. I forgot everything that I'd been taught. While it didn't finish as quickly, the bout ended at 5-0... my loss.

I was literally on the verge of removing my gear and giving up the sport at that moment. My girlfriend, however, looked me in the eyes and said, "Just go have fun and don't focus on winning." She was right -- I walked back out onto the strip, relaxed, didn't pay attention to anything other than the person on the other side of the en guard line and just fenced the best way I knew how. I won that bout 5-2.

The moral of the story: Just relax and enjoy the sport.

If you're tense on the strip, your movements are going to be stiff. If you're worried about being hit, you will be. If you're focused on anything other than your opponent (ie, "Coach is watching... I better do this right!" or "I need to win this bout or my parents are going to be disappointed!"), you aren't going to be able to react to the situation as quickly as you need to. Don't assume that just because you can beat someone during club practice that they're the same in a tournament when there is an award involved, or they're having a really good day.

Focus on getting a touch. Then focus on getting the next touch. If you don't get that touch, understand why you lost it and try to learn from it -- then move on. Don't worry about the score, who is watching, or whether you think your opponent is "easy". Winning will come when you've earned it.

[oiuyt]

My second opponent (who is a much better fencer than me) literally took me apart in 21 seconds on the stopwatch and ended at 5-0.

(Emphasis notation changed)

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

-B

[Allen Evans]

Modern emergancy room medicine works wonders these days.

...and the sutures hardly show.

A

[prototoast]

(Emphasis notation changed)

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

-B

I think what he meant to say was "My second opponent (who is a much better fencer than me) took me apart in literally 21 seconds on the stopwatch and ended at 5-0"

It wasn't that his diction was wrong--just his syntax.

[Superscribe]

I think the best thing to do here is maybe ask purplefencer how he keeps chugging along in the face of extreme adversity.

[K O'N]

(Emphasis notation changed)

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

-B

lit·er·al·ly
adv
\ˈli-tə-rə-lē, ˈli-trə-lē, ˈli-tər-lē\
Definition of LITERALLY
1
: in a literal sense or manner : actually <took the remark literally> <was literally insane>
2
: in effect : virtually <will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice — Norman Cousins>

Usage Discussion of LITERALLY
Since some people take sense 2 to be the opposite of sense 1, it has been frequently criticized as a misuse. Instead, the use is pure hyperbole intended to gain emphasis, but it often appears in contexts where no additional emphasis is necessary.

from

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/literally

Tragically, "literally" now really does mean "figuratively".

K O'N

[jeff]

I think the best thing to do here is maybe ask purplefencer how he keeps chugging along in the face of extreme adversity.

That certainly shows resolution in the face of adversity. It can be generalized to "if you have self-esteem issues as a fencer, take up reffing for a while and you'll see how good you had it." That, plus the thanks and high pay for reffing.

With the corrections to "literally", I wonder if those who deplore the change to the meaning of the word are in the camp that believe it's okay to change the meaning of ROW? *cough* (or is change permitted to one of these, but not the other). Eats, shoots, leaves!

[Purple Fencer]

I think the best thing to do here is maybe ask purplefencer how he keeps chugging along in the face of extreme adversity.

Simple....I shrug my shoulders, set myself, and continue. I've taken enough poundings on the strip in all three weapons to not let it get to me.

[wdragon007]

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

Yeah, yeah. I fixed it. That's what I get for talking to my boss while responding on the forums. I went and told him that he made me screw an important document that I was working on. He apologizes.

Eats, shoots, leaves!

Nah! Eats, stalks, and shoots.

Considering that they added "Muffin-Top" to the dictionary this year, I've got to wonder what's going to be in there in another ten years.

[tchwojko]

Eats, shoots, leaves!

Quit pandaring to the crowd.

[foibles]

I know that I am a fairly good fencer to my age group but my massive problem is that if i am in a tournament of any kind, i suddenly feel really nervous and i suddenly suck... REALLY BADLY.
Once, I was at an inclub fencing tourney and when i lost my first bout against someone i was pretty confident against, I just clammed up. I tried for the next few bouts but I never did seem to be getting better.
The same thing happens when my parents or coach watch me, and when i go up against taller, older, and more experienced fencers.
I feel kind of like a baby for complaining about this, but is there anyway of fixing this problem?

Drink some tiger blood and become bi-win.

[academe]

Quit pandaring to the crowd.

Are you trying to bamboozle us by literally hijacking this thread?