| I had one of those once upon a.......... It seems just like a dream...I was once walking near Redwood Creek when I bemoaned how my point control sucked and if only i could find the magical grip all would be good in my world. Suddenly from the dark deep waters a magical grip appeared and floated to me on gossamer wings. It was beautiful. But as soon as I gripped it I saw that it was attached an intruction book. Two hundred pages long. To use THIS grip I had to first prove my worth by developing my body until I could break a sword with my bare hands. I should be able to run like a cheetah and have the endurance of a gazelle. And most importantly I had to climb the sacred mountain and find the holy man whose name was Maitre D'armes. Only then would I ever be able to wield the power of the Magic grip.After much contemplation, and not a bit of regret I chucked the grip back where it came and went and had a bunch more beer.....
Too much fricking work that magic grip. 
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"Kill the men, save the women, and by the gods, do not spill the wine"
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