Fencing Zombie Survival Guide

[crquack]

Enthusiasts here might find this useful:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/pict...r.html?image=4

[SabreReedfrost]

http://www.l4d.com

[Inquartata]

OK, so how do you tell epeeists from zombies? That seems like the most difficult of all.

I mean, you can't even watch a known zombie's reaction to them, because there're no brains there to attract their attention.

[telkanuru]

Simple. Say something like that in front of them. If you get an epee through the eye, you know it wasn't a zombie.

[Inquartata]

Nah, you just can't get that close to either epeeists or zombies---the latter because of the smell, and the former because of...well...also the smell.

You see? Indistinguishable!

[telkanuru]

Next time I see you, rest assured, I will make an effort to eat your brain.

[larkascending]

I hope you have something else planned. I can't imagine there's enough there for more than an hors d'oeuvre.

[Inquartata]

It's not about quantity, but quality. Sabre fences' brains are integrated circuits, while epeeists are still working with vacuum tubes.

But why am I explaining? Epeeists wouldn't understand such concepts.

[telkanuru]

But we do know that such concepts are delicious.

[warlordkenobi]

Nah, you just can't get that close to either epeeists or zombies---the latter because of the smell, and the former because of...well...also the smell.

You see? Indistinguishable!

Zombies don't bounce.

[Inquartata]

Even if you drop them off a roof?

Anyway, bouncing is not that different from rocking. Hard to tell one from the other...

[Grasshopper]

It's not about quantity, but quality. Sabre fences' brains are integrated circuits, while epeeists are still working with vacuum tubes.

But why am I explaining? Epeeists wouldn't understand such concepts.

Intergrated circuits?? C'mon. Sabre fencers' can't even wire a blade. How do you expect them to have anything more than "conductive material" in their cranium?

They are nothing but a bunch of flunges.

[monitorlizerd]

Saber fencers are superior beings who have evolved past needing wires...their brains contain instantaneous programs that evaluate the actions of our opponents, and well trained, lightning fast reflexes in response...(at least, I wish mine did) Again, epeeists still wouldn't understand, right Inq?

[Inquartata]

Correct, and I will add my analogy from another thread: Sabre fencers don't WANT to wire blades, so why bother learning to do it, any more than men want to bother to learn how to use tampons?

But in the minds ( I use the word loosely ) of epeeists the fact that men don't know how to use tampons probably means that women are superior to men. Or rather, that women who use tampons are.

Silly zombie-imitators!

[TheNamelessOne]

OK, so how do you tell epeeists from zombies? That seems like the most difficult of all.

I mean, you can't even watch a known zombie's reaction to them, because there're no brains there to attract their attention.

Not only do zombies not bounce, they also don't argue with the referee.

[seven6ty]

Shouldn't this get moved to the Water Cooler?

[keith]

It's not about quantity, but quality. Sabre fences' brains are integrated circuits, while epeeists are still working with vacuum tubes. :

It's true, we have much sweeter harmonics.

[UnidentifiedFencerOnline]

Bought it for my sister-in-law's birthday. Haven't gotten any feedback yet. She's a huge Jane Austen fan.

There's another book out now involving sea monsters. I forget which book it's based on.

Mobey Dick?

[Inquartata]

Shouldn't this get moved to the Water Cooler?

Well, considering who started the thread...I'm going with "Not likely".

[TheNamelessOne]

Hey! This thread contains information that could be vital to the survival of the human race! I think that qualifies for top priority posting in the "General Fencing" section.

Do you want your brains eaten?