Horrible Weekend

[Greybeard]

We are trying to potty train the twins and Adam seems to be getting it and Kyle is fussing and crying. I can't deal with it.

Kyle's crying and moanig is so horrible. We got a letter that said the kids have to be trained by the 25th.

We are using something called Potty Boot Camp. I really want to go fence now.

Any Hints?

[Go? Fencing?]

My instinct says that if the kid isn't ready for it, trying to force him isn't going to be fun for either him or you, and it would probably be best to wait. It's also possible that once he sees his brother getting it, and if you're really proud of the one who gets it, then he might want to do it too to get the same attention his brother is getting. Or he might have no interest in it yet, either way.

Who says that they have to be trained in two weeks?

[Greybeard]

The school headmistress. They are in the "3's" group and the teacher to student ratio is such that they cannot be changing diapers all the time.

[Greybeard]

Because of my meds I am hyper emotional so I have bee crying my eyes out as well. Once again my daughter went to work and left my wife with the duty of making the boys go potty and watching me. She just had oral surgery friday as well.

Not fair to her on so many levels. I also think I am losing me. Confused and no short term memory.

[JackOfHearts]

Hang in there, GB. Take your time, and keep a notebook handy to jot down reminders. It's something that certainly helps me as a poet, might work for you here. As to the potty training, kids don't really respond well to being rushed. Like G?F? said, positive reinforcement of progress helps, and you just have to be patient as they adapt. I don't really know if it can happen in two weeks, but every little bit helps.

[Greybeard]

We have a score of "prizes" for them. His last thing is to leave the child on the toilet till he poops. I'd like to punch the guy in the nose. They are so tired and so sad. Why don't we just get a cattle prod? Maybe a few blade whips.

[Elendae]

Do you have a stockpot large enough for both of them?

[TBean]

GB - your daughter need to step-up and speak with her care provider. Children do not follow arbitrary timelines. Great they are supposed to be trained by the 25th - so says the provider - what do the boys say about it?

The boys are in charge of this, you cannot MAKE them do this, and the more you force a child who is not ready the more resistance you are likely to face. This is coming from a woman whose son trained late - trust me they are the ones who need to decide. Don't think for one minute that the boys are not aware of that fact.

What are the consequences of them not being trained? What if only was was trained - does that mean that he is the only one who can move up in the daycare group. So, let that be the motivation for the boys. If they do or do not get trained is up to them - but let them know if they are not making the decision to use the potty, instead of going in a diaper, then they cannot move up in their group. They choice is theirs to make, and then let them make the choice.

This is a hard. I said it somewhere else - their toileting habits are not a reflection on you, your wife or your daughter. You can show them what to do, provide incentive to do it, but really the boys have to make the choice. If they don't it is on them, and if they are really getting upset and sad about using the potty that is a big sign that they are not ready. To push the issue would not be helpful and will only prolong the process.

[Greybeard]

If they are not trained, they are dropped from the program, which is too bad. They have gained so much from it, colors, letters, shapes, calculating Pi to 14 places.

The weekend was filled with much crying and carrying on, some of it even from the boys. My daughter is lazy and always has been. Things come easy to her and she developed early (the only thing she got from her mother. or rather two things) They know that pee and poop go in the potty, just not necessarily theirs.

I am still struggling with one letter from my Dr here that says for me to talk a month off and then a month at 1/2 time and a letter from my surgeon in PHX that says I am free to be you and me. Oh, the Dr here says no skipping and jumping and lifting over 10 pounds.(the boys are pushing 40) si O am assuming that means no fencing. The Dr in PHX said 6 weekes of no fencing. I tend to go with the guy in PHX because he is the one who would do the craniotomy. I am just terrified of the operation a "negative patient outcome" as the insurance companies call them and losing myself.

[Go? Fencing?]

Tough situation. They are kids, so this may not work, but you could try sitting them down and talking to them like adults, explain that if they do not learn to use the potty by the 25th, they will no longer be allowed in the program. If they like the program, this may be incentive for them.

You could also create a poster calendar, with a big square for each day from now until the deadline. Put each boy's name on each day, and every time he uses the potty successfully, he gets a sticker to put by his name. Go out and buy a few sheets of stickers of things that they like (cars, TV shows, animals, whatever it is that they like), and when they earn a sticker, they can choose which one they want to put on the calendar. This will give them a physical reward of getting to put a sticker up by their name, and it will give you a visual record of how they are doing. So even if it feels like they're not doing well, you can go to the calendar and see how many stickers they have.

[Greybeard]

We're you in my house this weekend? We have a giant poster for stickers and Adam is trashing Kyle. Kyle just hasn't shown an interest. As the screensaver on the home computer I have pictures from their end of year party and so we asked them how they would feel if they couldn't see Evan and Brandon (their BFF's) at school any longer.

It was easier housebreaking the Scotties.

[Go? Fencing?]

Another thing that you might be able to try is bargaining with the headmistress. If you can get Adam trained by the date, you can try to argue that Kyle just needs a little more time, and since you managed to get Adam trained, maybe they can give you another couple weeks to keep working on Kyle. Or even if Adam isn't completely trained, if he (or they) is well on his way to being there, you can show her the progress they've made (bring in the sticker poster, maybe) so that she can see that you are really trying, and she might be able to give you some more time.

[Greybeard]

They actually made it through yesterday telling them when thry had to go potty and only one accident between them

[JackOfHearts]

Sounds like they're making progress.

[D'Art]

I'm with TBean on this, GB. Kids develop at their own pace. Some respond to stimuli that others don't. It called being human. Everyone's the same, so encourage their individuality (contradiction noted, but I couldn't think of a better way to phrase it). If the kids program is worth its salt then they'll appreciate this and act accordingly.

[Go? Fencing?]

Congratulations! I'm sure that as long as they continue to show progress like that, the staff will understand about a few accidents.