USFA Implements A New Referee Payment Scheme (WARNING - this is Satirical Material)

[flechewounds]

WARNING - this is Satirical Material and May Contain Concepts that Some Consider Dangerous

At the recent BoD meeting, a new policy for referee payment was unveiled. Modeled after California's "IOU" program instituted during the California budget crisis - where California issued "IOUs" lovingly referred to as "Arnolds," referees will now be paid with IOUs that will be good for valuable merchandise at THS-sponsored venues and the TeamIP booth.

Curt Ivchenko, the Executive Director, lauded the new program. "No longer will referees wait to be paid for their valuable services. Instead, after each day they work, they will be given an 'IOU' good for great merchandise and food products. Of course, to protect the integrity of the referee cadre, IOUs will not be good for alcohol, food outside of the hotel restaurant, business services, or arcade games."

According to reports, the design is almost complete. On the obverse, the USFA Fleching Saberist (err, Foilist) will be prominently featured, as well as an lovely engraving of Curt in full USFA regalia. On the reverse, the logos of THS and TeamIP will be prominently displayed to remind referees of the generosity of these organizations. Already, the new USFA notes are being referred to as "Curts."

"I can't wait to get my hand on some Curts" said Michael Ishihawa, a highly rated sabre and foil referee. "I think that the USFA owes me for the last seven tournaments, and I'm dying for one of those lovely 'Dallas SN09' tie-dye t-shirts."

Vendor reaction to the program is mixed. Mike, from FlecheSports, is happy to see some movement on this very important issue. "When referees start spending again, we believe that we're going to see some benefit. Until now, the referee credit market has been frozen - this will, I hope, be a big step in unfreezing it."

Others are more skeptical. "I won't take a Curt" says Roberta, from Two Sisters Stenciling. "This is just another USFA attempt to pull the wool over our eyes!"

Banks have been lukewarm in their reception as well. Only one credit union, located in Minor, Colorado, has agreed to accept the "Curts." However, they are requiring that any exchange be made in person. Minor, Colorado, is 300 miles Southwest of Denver, in the Scenic Four Corners area. However, referees shouldn't fret, as Minor is a finalist city for the 2010-2011 National Championships.

What do you think of the USFA IOU program? Find our blog on Facebook or Twitter, or send your text to 4USFA (that's 48732). Standard messaging charges apply.

REMEMBER, WHAT YOU JUST READ IS SATIRE. IT IS NOT MEANT TO CRITICIZE, SLANDER, LIBEL OR OTHERWISE DISPARAGE THE USFA IN ANY WAY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL FACTS OR PEOPLE IS COINCIDENTAL.

[seak]

Duuude, if fencing vendors took "Curts" I'd be ok with this if it meant I actually got paid at the end of the day

[Purple Fencer]

At the recent BoD meeting, a new policy for referee payment was unveiled. Modeled after California's "IOU" program instituted during the California budget crisis - where California issued "IOUs" lovingly referred to as "Arnolds," referees will now be paid with IOUs that will be good for valuable merchandise at THS-sponsored venues and the TeamIP booth.

Gary....need to change it....they should be spelled "Ahnolds"....funner when you use the accent.

[mrbiggs]

Stop making threads. You're damaging your points by being obnoxious.