Most Entertaining Armory Story of SNs

[brtech]

A guy hands me a brand new 2 pin cord. It's clearly a cheap german style cord. I test it, it's okay. I look at the clip.

The wire is soldered to the head of the screw. Very high quality soldering, nice and shiny, just the right sized filet.

The screw is backed out maybe 2/3 of the way out of the clip: standing up at least 1/4" off the clip, probably more!

Of course it doesn't pass: the rule says that the wire has to be soldered to the clip.

And, since the wire was correctly crimped in the back of the clip, the screw had to be standing up that way when they soldered it.


------

You should have seen the pile of masks we confiscated this year. There must have been 15 of them. Most of the problems were broken welds. Lots of them were AllStars and Uhlmanns, looking like they were the Chinese shell vintage. Armorers: check the welds! Hold the edges of the mesh around where the strap attaches and squeeze a bit. You can feel and/or hear the weld slipping.

[telkanuru]

You armorers are just a barrel of laughs.

[Lady Quindecim]

You armorers are just a barrel of laughs.

I liked it....

:wah!!!! telkanuru made fun of humour which I found amusing!:
=^_^=
hehehe.

[SJCFU#2]

And, since the wire was correctly crimped in the back of the clip, the screw had to be standing up that way when they soldered it.

Out of curiosity, was the screw soldered to the clip as well or could you still turn it if you were to pull back the crimps?

[piste off]

You armorers are just a barrel of laughs.

Telk did not even specify a German or French barrel!!! Doesn't he even know they're different? No wonder he does not get the point of your joke.

R-

[Inquartata]

I too have a story about the armory at Nationals.

I was walking past the weapons check table, and observed one of the armorers holding a sabre mask up to his ear while doing something to the bib near one of the temple areas. Then he did the same to the other side.

I thought I knew all of the tests that masks had to pass, but this is the first time I have heard that they must pass an aural inspection!

[1337]

a small dead spot on the side of my mask, i ask if theres a good way to wash it or to get a patch for it. the guy in the armory says "you could learn how to parry" and laughs.
didnt seem funny to me at the moment.

[catwood1]

I had a youth fencer burst into tears because it hurt too much to put on his mask.

I started that day in cadet, and then I went to Y10MF. That was a sad, sad, sad change of events...

[brtech]

Out of curiosity, was the screw soldered to the clip as well or could you still turn it if you were to pull back the crimps?

Nope, no solder at all on the clip; just on the screw head

I too have a story about the armory at Nationals.

I was walking past the weapons check table, and observed one of the armorers holding a sabre mask up to his ear while doing something to the bib near one of the temple areas. Then he did the same to the other side.

I thought I knew all of the tests that masks had to pass, but this is the first time I have heard that they must pass an aural inspection!

That is the broken weld check. We found a lot of broken welds this SNs. You are listening for the click of the front mesh moving relative to the side mesh. They should be welded together. If the weld breaks, squeezing the sides causes the front mesh to snap over the side mesh. You can usually feel it as well as hear it.

As others noticed, the acoustics in the Gaylord convention center were terrible, so hearing it was hard.

[twisterfencing]

Everyone knows that I work at the Swordmasters booth for repairs at Nac and Jo's and Summer Nat's and I have WAY TOO many funny stories to fill this thread so I will pick just a few!

Here are two of my favorites from the Dallas Summer Nats:

1. With my headphones on and nose in the vise working, I happened to look up and see the front counter. There standing in the line of customers was this really nice woman, maybe in her 30's. She was holding onto an epee clasped in both hands almost like prayer style. Now to look at her face, she was crying. Tears flowing down her cheeks and hitting the floor type of crying. I jumped up from my seat and went around the table where she was standing. I asked her what was wrong and how we could help? With her quivering lips and tears, she told me "my son just got a yellow card" and she did not know what to do about it? I took the weapon from her while she explained to me that they spent a ton of money getting to Dallas and how much the room was. While she told me her story, I adjusted the contact spring and handed it back to her letting her know, to go and tell that nasty no good evil ref to take back that yellow card and to never give her son one again,,,EVER! (ok, I know I'm evil, yet I had to kick this one back into play, could not resist)

2. Also in Dallas, our counter guy Andrew(my #2 son) hands me an epee and asks me whats wrong with it, I grab the weapon and quickly notice whats up. I signal the "Dad owner" to come to the back of the booth to explain. The dad quickly tells me that his son just rewired the weapon and that there should be no problems with it, yet it does not work. I expain to the dad that you should never glue the tip down (there was this huge blob of glue surrounding the tip like a ball) and that the wires should be in the channels of the blade, not glued around the blade in a circular fashion. The only thing done correctly to this epee was, the pommel nut was in the right place.

We see it all


Gary Spruill

A guy hands me a brand new 2 pin cord. It's clearly a cheap german style cord. I test it, it's okay. I look at the clip.

The wire is soldered to the head of the screw. Very high quality soldering, nice and shiny, just the right sized filet.

The screw is backed out maybe 2/3 of the way out of the clip: standing up at least 1/4" off the clip, probably more!

Of course it doesn't pass: the rule says that the wire has to be soldered to the clip.

And, since the wire was correctly crimped in the back of the clip, the screw had to be standing up that way when they soldered it.


------

You should have seen the pile of masks we confiscated this year. There must have been 15 of them. Most of the problems were broken welds. Lots of them were AllStars and Uhlmanns, looking like they were the Chinese shell vintage. Armorers: check the welds! Hold the edges of the mesh around where the strap attaches and squeeze a bit. You can feel and/or hear the weld slipping.

[Purple Fencer]

2. Also in Dallas, our counter guy Andrew(my #2 son) hands me an epee and asks me whats wrong with it, I grab the weapon and quickly notice whats up. I signal the "Dad owner" to come to the back of the booth to explain. The dad quickly tells me that his son just rewired the weapon and that there should be no problems with it, yet it does not work. I expain to the dad that you should never glue the tip down (there was this huge blob of glue surrounding the tip like a ball) and that the wires should be in the channels of the blade, not glued around the blade in a circular fashion. The only thing done correctly to this epee was, the pommel nut was in the right place.

We see it all


Gary Spruill

Oh GOD.....you should've taken a picture, Gary! I can see that one in my head! OY!

Best one I ran into was a foil that just would not function properly when hooked up.

I figured the problem in half a second. GREAT wiring job....really nice looking (better than mine, in fact, and I had a LOT more experience than the dad armorer), smooth tip action....wire was a touch short to the socket (no room to reconnect if there was a break)....and the socket was ON TOP of the pad.

DOH!

[Eisley]

Here are two of my favorites from the Dallas Summer Nats:

1. With my headphones on and nose in the vise working, I happened to look up and see the front counter. There standing in the line of customers was this really nice woman, maybe in her 30's. She was holding onto an epee clasped in both hands almost like prayer style. Now to look at her face, she was crying. Tears flowing down her cheeks and hitting the floor type of crying. I jumped up from my seat and went around the table where she was standing. I asked her what was wrong and how we could help? With her quivering lips and tears, she told me "my son just got a yellow card" and she did not know what to do about it? I took the weapon from her while she explained to me that they spent a ton of money getting to Dallas and how much the room was. While she told me her story, I adjusted the contact spring and handed it back to her letting her know, to go and tell that nasty no good evil ref to take back that yellow card and to never give her son one again,,,EVER! (ok, I know I'm evil, yet I had to kick this one back into play, could not resist)

This happens to me almost on a daily basis! (Most commonly with the mothers of the fencers, for some reason not usually the fathers) coming in either very angry or upset that they paid so much money for a weapon and only a few weeks later is "broken or defective". Most of the time they demand an entirely new weapon, outraged about the quality... until we explain what a contact spring is, and remotely how everything works. This is even more difficult when people call over the phone saying they're sending the weapon back to us and we're like "WAIT!" and try to explain over the phone how they can adjust it instead of blowing almost $20 to ship it back and fourth.

If you ask me, I think a lot of fencing items should come with tiny instruction booklets, just like.. a little fold out thing like what you get with a Rubix Cube or such other items.. explaining the whole concept of how it works and how to maintain it. Maybe even a heading at the top "Do Not Panic".

[wahrman]

I won't out the person responsible but he has responded to this thread.

I think it was SN in San Jose, a women was arguing with the man working the booth, trying to convince him to fix a body cord that she bought somewhere else.

In frustration, said gentleman takes the body cord from the woman, explains to her that it's cheap Chinese junk and proceeds to rip it apart with one swift pull.

He then hands her a second hand Uhlmann cord and she goes away.

[Purple Fencer]

I won't out the person responsible but he has responded to this thread.

I think it was SN in San Jose, a women was arguing with the man working the booth, trying to convince him to fix a body cord that she bought somewhere else.

In frustration, said gentleman takes the body cord from the woman, explains to her that it's cheap Chinese junk and proceeds to rip it apart with one swift pull.

He then hands her a second hand Uhlmann cord and she goes away.

Oh....I KNOW who you're talking about!!

[twisterfencing]

Sam,

Tell me this was not me!

Sounds like something I would do with a customer that comes to the booth every 15 minutes asking "is it ready yet" on a $14 body cord.

Gary Spruill

Oh....I KNOW who you're talking about!!

[monitorlizerd]

Heheheh..

When I get parents that want to harass me over body cords, I sit the down on the outside of the armory table, hand them the tools, and start telling them what to do. At that stage, they either get up and go away until I call them, or they get a fast hands-on lesson on how to fix a body cord. Either way I'm rid of them. The fixers usually say thanks when leaving, and I dont have to fix their body cords anymore. Gee whiz, I'm heartbroken.

Susie

[bob46]

I have a funny armory story, about the failings of blue-gauntlet.

about 2 weeks before nationals, i got 3 bodycords off blue gauntlet and 1 foil. within the 2 weeks, i found the 2 prong socket on the blade was too big to fit the entirely new bodycords in and blue-gauntlet has no reliability (2 bodycords broken within a week). In other words, FAIL!

moral of the story: NEVER BUY BLUE-GAUNTLET!

[twisterfencing]

Eisley,

I know, its a broken record.
I do a tip tune up on a foil or epee, fencer goes out and fences pools and a strong DE with the same weapon, and now the weight spring needs adjusting and I am now the bad guy in this issue????? You can only know what to expect when you know how it works. Had this one kid that the dad came back 3 times for weight spring issues, most know I can be a little evil at times, the last time he came by, that epee left my vise able to push up at least 1200 grams. No more problems after that.

Here is a funny- Every time I patch a mask/ put a patch on a mask, I make the fencer tell me the same thing everytime! Quote: "Patches are temporary".
I say it to the customer, then ask them to repeat it back to me.
That way, I don't get the "this patch isn't any good anymore and you need to redo it" story.

Gary Spruill

This happens to me almost on a daily basis! (Most commonly with the mothers of the fencers, for some reason not usually the fathers) coming in either very angry or upset that they paid so much money for a weapon and only a few weeks later is "broken or defective". Most of the time they demand an entirely new weapon, outraged about the quality... until we explain what a contact spring is, and remotely how everything works. This is even more difficult when people call over the phone saying they're sending the weapon back to us and we're like "WAIT!" and try to explain over the phone how they can adjust it instead of blowing almost $20 to ship it back and fourth.

If you ask me, I think a lot of fencing items should come with tiny instruction booklets, just like.. a little fold out thing like what you get with a Rubix Cube or such other items.. explaining the whole concept of how it works and how to maintain it. Maybe even a heading at the top "Do Not Panic".

[Superscribe]

What is an armorer supposed to do? For what reason is an armorer present at a tournament? I've always been curious. Is that job description written somewhere?

[Eisley]

...most know I can be a little evil at times, the last time he came by, that epee left my vise able to push up at least 1200 grams. No more problems after that.

ahahah! OMG thats horrible, LOL.

And yes, it is a broken record, non-stop. We always get blamed the "bad guy" and are labeled at fault just because no one can be bothered to learn anything about any of the equipment that they're using enough to even have just a little common sense about it. If I had one wish, it would be to make all fencers and their parents aware of what a contact spring is, that's all. This alone would solve soooo many time consuming ordeals.