To rant and rave

[Purple Fencer]

Moon...if I might offer a suggestion...register on the discussion board at http://www.bluedevils.org and post the situation there. We've got a number of band directors and capion heads to post regularly there. A similar situation came up recently, and you might get some good tips...a fencing board isn't the best place to come for advice on a pissy guard captain.

My name there is 84BDSop (because I played soprano bugle for the Blue Devils in 1984)

[135711]

RANT NUMBER 365:

Give a yell, give a yell, give a good substantial yell, and when we yell, we yell like h_ll, and this is what we yell:

Capitol: B-E-A-T- C-A-R-D-I-N-A-L-S!

sdsSsSsssSSsssSSsssSSs

[Swordsman]

Next rant:

Coaches who make captains based solely on physical ability.

Captains are supposed to LEAD. True, it helps if they can lead by example - specifically, winning. But they have to be able to lead first.

Here's the deal: We have eight guys on the cross country team. Well, technically eleven. But one has a stress fracture in his foot, one has all but quit (his mom makes him stay in at least the warmups, or he has to quit hockey as well), and one has made maybe five practices, thanks to various and sundry excuses. He's barely on the team. Thankfully, these three are all freshmen and of no great talent.

So how many captains does a team of eight require? Well, I would say two. However, with three seniors, it could be tough to leave just one out, so maybe three.

Tell coach that. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the sense in having a full half of your team be captains.

Our best runner is a junior. The next three, including myself, are seniors. The seniors are responsible, caring people - who know how to lead. In addition, they're seniors - and seniority, while not by any means an excuse for the kind of behavior described by Moonitic, does carry some weight. Or should. The junior is a moody skater with a (well-earned) reputation for hating everybody. While he has gotten better in this respect, he still can't lead for crap. He cares about his own workouts, his own race, how well his training is coming along. If the rest of the team is slacking, oh well. If everybody else is getting overworked because he's pushing the pace beyond what's prudent, oh well. If the team places poorly because of the aforementioned problems, that's fine as long as he gets a good place/time.

Now, I'll grant that perhaps he can't entirely avoid this mindset. It is coach, after all, who continually plays favorites. Really, I think it's coach's attitude that's rubbed off on him. And our team is suffering for it.

The worst thing: I thought perhaps three captains, due to the number of seniors. No, we have four. Actually, one captain - the junior. The three seniors are "co-captains", under him. It's simply sickening. It's like electing somebody president because they're richer than the other guy. THIS GUY CANNOT LEAD. He's also not a senior. And yet he is the head captain.

And for this and many other reasons, coach is simply a complete moron. As I told Rayen on the phone the other night when she asked me how I was doing, "I'm in something of a 'bite me, coach' kind of mood."

Thankfully, it's my last cross country season with him. I miss my last coach...

[Moonitic]

Thanks for the link! Trust me, I wasn't asking for advice. I couldn't have done anything with it anyway. Just blowing off steam. I've been REALLY stressed about this. I really need to go to fencing to get rid of it.

In other news: I'm now the official coach, & once the contracts are signed by the girls, I can make whatever decision necessary about them. Life is good. Heck, I didn't even know I was officially coach today! A girl had to tell me that her mother talked to the principal, & the principal told her mom...lol...

I'm always the last to know.

[135711]

I wish I had a good answer for you swordsman. But unless the 'coach' has done something directly to you, I think you should leave the captain alone. Since this board is to help each other, I would offer that it's best to keep disagreements between yourself and the person with whom you are having difficulties, this is sort of difficult, because you want support in a particular issue, but the problem you bring up isn't directly connected to you, it is a choice that a coach made involving another person. I'll give you a classic example: in my religion, we very often have senior members who 'lead' or take 'leadership' responsibility. They usually have 20 to 30 years of experience. Sometimes they make silly statements or are inaccurate in their dispensing of information, leaving the rest of us sort of wondering what to make of the whole thing. In our frustration, we can go to the Priest (our coach) and say "I don't like this Xiu person, what's he doing? etc", the Priest listens to this and if he perceives that there is a serious problem, he'll speak with Xiu. If he feels like we're just spewing alot, he'll stick to his original decision. It's like when we complain to Craig about the colors of the design that Shy Heidi made. You can offer your opinions, since Craig opens up the board for opinions, but Craig doesn't have to comply. In my experience I have found that my captains at the temple have been very good. I have never had to complain about any of them to anyone. I think in my 20 years of experience I've only felt that a few have been insane, and I really felt it was their karma, or their basic problem. I felt I could just ignore them if I wanted to, and just leave the rest to TIME. Another strategy to try is: try to support your new captain as much as possible, without becoming a fawning creep, and see if you can marshall the rest of the group to support his efforts. When you all support the captain, you'll find your entire team will win more often. There is a legend in China of two armies, one with 500 men and one with 5,000 men. The small army was being attacked by the big army and the little army was really scared. But the general of the small army [i think his name was wu] led the small army onto victory. Why? because they were united in spirit.

[Swordsman]

First of all, Mango, I see what you're saying. But the thread is called "To rant and rave". It's a thread just for ranting about what ticks one off, to get it off one's chest and blow off steam even if there's nothing anybody else here can do about it.

Second: Coach's decision DOES affect me, and my team. I'm one of the co-captains, and therefore still have a responsibility to my team to try to keep them together, united, and working hard. Unfortunately, the main captain - who should carry an even larger portion of this responsibility - ignores it. This hurts us all. And no matter how much we "support him and rally around him", he still doesn't know how to lead. The 500 man army won because they were united and had a good general. Not because they supported a general that didn't care.

[epeefencer74]

Pray my fellow fencers for the 187 lost souls in Bali. The action of terrorist have struck yet again, killing 187 and injuring over 300. I have no words left to describe the anger I feel towards this act and I pray that justice be brought to bear. Indonesia has in these past year denied any presence of terrorist in their country, and has denied that thier most flamboyant cleric Bashir is a member and leader of a terrorist group. After this incident they can no longer deny the presence of terrorist and I'm sure if further digging is done Bashir will be connected with this incident. How far this corrupt and suspect government is willing to go I am not sure. All I know is it happened very near Singapore and we will not be free from the aftershocks. I will be recalled into active duty in November to participate in military excercises. Though I very much doubt I'll see any combat, I'm sure the feeling of anxiety and tension would be greatly increased among my fellow comrades, some of whom are muslim.

[Catlady]

First re the gorgeous girl w/no brains. I'm not going to flame you. I've had the same problem with men. It seems like all the attractive ones are horrible to be around. Either they're not very bright--really I'm not an IQ snob, but I really need someone who is capable of intelligent conversation--, or they just have a terrible attitude.

Related to the color guard thing. What always bothered me and still bothers me is that it seems like the athletes at least in the popular sports, like football, basketball, or baseball can get away with a lot more than anyone else. Someone asked me when I voiced this opinion why I would want to get away with anything anyway, and I don't. I'm primarily a goody-goody, and was even more so in high school, but the crowd I hung out with was mostly not the popular group. Quite a few of them were theater or creative writing types. I think even some of the administrators and teachers saw us as being suspect, but often the athletes--again those in popular sports and the guys more than the girls-- could do something wrong and get away with no punishment, or with a lighter punishment than us mere mortals would get. Yes, high school was a long time ago, and yes I should get over it, but it's sort of a sore issue with me.

I'm thinking of a hazing incident at another school that happenned. Basically the seniors on the football team stripped one of the freshmen, taped him to something--I forget what--in the locker rooms and brought in girls to look at him. There was more involved but it's been a few years. The school did the right thing IMHO, and barred these guys from playing football, and gave them a suspension. Their parents sued the school for barring them from football, as if they have a constitutional right to play football or something. I think the parents won the suit too. It makes me want to scream. There was also an incident at my own school where two popular students did a skit that was very insulting to homosexuals. I don't want to go into my views on the subject, but it deeply hurt someone I knew and who overall was a much nicer person than the two guys who did the skit. The adminstration expressed token outrage, but essentially the guys who did the skit got a half heart "oh, naughty, naughty" and hardly a slap on the wrist.
Finally, all activity at the school ceased when three current students and one who graduated the year before were in a car acccident. Three died, and yes that's very sad, but the truth is they were out doing something they really shouldn't have been at the time. It's not that the loss was acknowledged, that's only right and I'm sad that they were killed but it was given more attention than many other deaths of students were given during my time at the school. In one case a girl committed suicide, and other than mentioning that she had died, and a strange lack of cause of death in the announcement, very little was said on an official level. To me the fact that this girl--who I envied because she was very talented-- felt so bad that she could take her own life is inifinitely more tragic than these guys who were behaving recklessly and had the consequences catch up with them. It's not that I was upset that we honored their lives, or that it was made known that counseling was available for those who felt they needed help--that's as it should be--but I wonder if it had been four of the average people, or even four of the artsy crowd, if as abig a deal would have been made.

I know I'm going to get it on this, I'm donning my asbestos underwear now. Flame away.

[Swordsman]

::Stands by Catlady with a fire extinguisher in one hand and blade in the other::

[counter riposte]

I hate to see a perfectly good life wasted on suicide, especially when there was so much that that person could have accomplished. I thought of it myself as a teenager, but realized that in all the seriousness, there wasn't much to really be worried about. Life will always take you in strange directions, often the ones you least predict. Thus, the tag line.

Believe it or not, there are some people out there that have extraordinary talent or intelligence, and just don't use it. I personally find that appalling. Take for instance, my friend, who has an extraordinary penchant for writing. She loves to do it, and her stories are great. The only problem is, she is afraid of criticism, and doesn't want anyone else to read them.

I try to encourage her, and give her help when I can, but apparently, she just doesn't want to or is afraid to succeed. I can't figure out which. In any case, she no longer wants anything to do with me because she thinks I'm pushing her.

That of course is not my intention, I just want to see her succeed at doing something that she loves to do. Hopefully to replace those drab eyes, of "why am I doing this" to something that she passionately enjoys.

Am I wrong in pushing her? Or am I just being too pushy? I don't know, but I do know that when she speaks about her writing, her eyes light up, and everything is right with the world.

I just think it's a waste.

[135711]

[quote]Originally posted by Swordsman
[b]First of all, Mango, I see what you're saying. But the thread is called "To rant and rave". It's a thread just for ranting about what ticks one off, to get it off one's chest and blow off steam even if there's nothing anybody else here can do about it.

Thank you now i can continue to rant....


p.s. who is mango, would you please tell me? I log on as 135711. I did notice that everyone liked mango, except moon and velma, although i couldn't figure out way, then i changed to 135711, and everyone is on my case, i am wondering and ranting, do you want the mango back? i've thought about this.

[Catlady]

Counterriposte, as I told you in PM, keep encouraging her. There's a thin line between pushy and encouraging--only you can really determine where it is-- as long as you stay on the encouraging side keep at it. If she's feeling pressured, back off, It sounds like she is, so I would say don't push the issue, but always be sure to be supportive when she brings the subject of her writing up with you.

Just some general thoughts: On one hand writing involves taking a lot of criticism constructive or otherwise, and rejection, it's sort of the name of the game, but that doesn't mean it feels particularly good. You have to build up a tolerance. That said, despite having gotten a degree in English, numerous workshop classes, which consist of everyone reading your work and then spending about 30 minutes analyzing it, and finally finding the courage to call myself a writer, I still feel very nervous showing my work to anyone. As a matter of fact, most of my fencing buddies know that I write, but none of them have seen any of my work. I know they would be nice, but since I'm a bit sensitive I'm afraid they'd make a comment in fun and I'll let it get to me more than I should. I feel better showing stuff to writing friends because they understand both what I need from them as far as comments, and how important that feedback is, but also how attached you can become to your work. Thus they know how and when to be gentle. What I mean is I need something more than just that's really good. It's nice to hear, but if nothing else I need to know why it was really good so I can capitalize on that in the future, furthermore I'd like to know how to make it even better if I can. I need someone who will go into detail about what they didn't understand too. If you don't understand something in writing someone shows you don't assume that it's just because you're the problem, tell them what about it you don't understand. Let them decide if it's because they weren't clear, which is much more likely than any lack of intelligence on the reader's part, or because you just don't "get it". I could probably write a book on how to be a good reader. I'll spare you the whole volume for now.

Back to the topic at hand. You can't get anyone to do anything, even when it's for their own good, until they're ready for it. Going into spirtual/cosmica rama mode for a moment, maybe your friend needs to just be working on self esteem in general for a while before she's ready to take the next step with her writing. So just be supportive an let it flow, so to speak.

[counter riposte]

Thanks Catlady,

I will do my best to keep encouraging her, even if I intend to be across the country, in a few short weeks. I've just always found that I do a better job when I know what it is I am doing and have fun doing what I do. I just wish she could see the potential she has in herself. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Back to the thread...
Like I said, I am actually planning a move to NJ, which is still pretty far from GA. (Sorry Swordsman) If I could take both, I would, but I can't so I'll just fence. I now look at my room and quickly realize just how much junk I have acquired. Before I take my car, I'm just planning on doing one last wash, and taking whatever I wash, the laptop and some sabres.

I am thinking of returning the golf clubs which will now have very little use in snow. (Looking for a white ball on a white field does not sound too interesting to me). The rest gets left in San Diego for my cousins. So my gripe? What in the world possessed me to buy so much JUNK! My place is filled with so much (%@& it's near ludicrious to move so much of it across country.

Then I have to decide which car I'm taking... The new one which is black with custom rims and a great tint job, which will be scratched, dinged, have the rims torn to pieces by snow chains spikes, or covered in ice and snow? Or the old car, which is so remarkably unimpressive that I couldn't care less if it ran into a brick wall, but has an engine that is on it's last legs and may strand me in the middle of Texas or Utah?

Grrrr.....

[Swordsman]

Umm...sorry why?

[135711]

counter: many golfers golf in the snow, they use color golfballs.

[HilandDoug]

CR, take the good car. New Jersey winters can't be much worse than Michigan winters. If you have radial tires, you don't need chains. You only need chain if you're driving in the Yukon in February, and you haven't mentioned that yet. You want to ride in style and comfort, so take the stylish, comfortable car. It sounds more reliable, too.

And if you're in NJ, check out Chris Umbs' new school. He's got a plug thread in the fencing discussion section. He'd be a great guy to fence saber with! He does classical, but he knows his stuff. If you were on this board in the summer of '01, you may have seen my commentary of when a friend of mine and I road tripped to Jersey for the Italian Dueling Sabre Seminar and Tournament. In case you missed it, here's a link to some pictures and a reprint of my commentary and Chris's response:

http://members.aol.com/hilanddoug/visit1.html

[lochinvar]

Hey, CR, how long are you planning to stay in Jersey?

If it's a permanent move, take the golf clubs. There are plenty of golf courses out there, and it isn't always winter!

Unlike San Diego, you'll have to curtail your playing to only 4-5 months of the year, but that's better than giving it up, isn't it?

[counter riposte]

Eh, details....

I am moving to NJ because I was offered a position out there. Not much more than what I make now, but it is management track, which is much better careerwise. The golf clubs may or may not go back, simply because I need the money. So returning them used for half price sounds better than leaving them in SD.

I, being the California guy, have never driven in snow before. Someone told me chains or spikes would help your driving, so damaging the rims will be an issue.

I plan on staying in NJ for at least a year, and I'll be applying for grad schools here in CA, while I am out in NJ. Hopefully I will get into a Masters of Public Policy program. If I don't get into schools in CA, I have a few east coast schools in mind. If you have any suggestions, I'm very open at this point.

I just got my triptick from AAA, and will be stopping through NM, OK, MO, OH, and finally NJ. I have to work out the final details, but it looks about right. I'll be fencing my final tournament here in SD this weekend, and taking off the weekend after that.

I HATE moving.....

[DJ Apostrophe]

Don't worry too much about driving in snow... just remember to stay in if you can until the roads have been plowed... and go SLOW... if you drive slowly and dont do anything sudden or drastic (i.e. slamming on your brakes as the light changes from yellow to red) you'll be fine... most snow accidents happen for one of two reasons A: people aren't paying full attention to their driving or B: travelling too fast. It really isnt that difficult...
(Hearty New Englander speaking from experience.)
-w

[Swordsman]

Just keep it slow, keep your head, and be ready. It's really not that bad.

--Veteran North Dakotan

And you won't need chains in New Jersey

--Also a veteran New Jerseyan