Chinese Fortune Cookies

[Fencergrl]

I had so much fun writing Chinese Fortune Cookie messages for failed Chinese products that I thought you might to. Feel free to expand it to non fencing related items.

Dear Fencergrl

[SabreReedfrost]

had i ever trusted a chinese piece of equipment, i would be able to write one. however, i would prefer if they would simply stay in China.

[Fencergrl]

I am certain anyone can do better than the last post.

[Nolano]

Related but still kinda off topic.

I recently hung out with a friend of mine who has a slight crush on me. My mom invited her to stay for dinner(we were having chinese takeout).

So, I take my fortune, and without reading it to myself first, just go ahead and read it out loud.
"Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!"
It was the most wonderfully appropriate, awkward, and hilarious fortune I've ever gotten.

[SabreReedfrost]

Well then your timing was perfect. Good luck with that lol

[Lady Quindecim]

As this is a fortune, remember to use your "ending" of choise (we know you do).

A-hem.

Ok... here we go.

Avoid irritating any koalas tonight.

[Go? Fencing?]

...on the fencing strip.

[Lemonaide]

1. Phooey Fat Choy: Drink Ox milk 2009!!!

2. Get the Lead out in the year of the Ox.

3. Mercury is rising; so don't flounder this year of the Ox.

4. This year of the Ox; take her to the Po River for an exciting excursion downstream, centering on the delicate architecture near our fault lines.

5. Treasure the Moments: this year of the Ox, a joyful cart-ride down the center of Tinneneman Square for long life memories.

[Empty Wallet]

As this is a fortune, remember to use your "ending" of choise (we know you do).

A-hem.

Ok... here we go.

Avoid irritating any koalas tonight.

Lady Q un-irritates a koala

Attachment 3163

[Lady Quindecim]

That little fellow it so ... so ... adorable!

lq@LAMPLight ~ $ fortune
Courage is your greatest present need.

[Lady Quindecim]

lq@LAMPLight ~ $ fortune
You will contract a rare disease.

[Pffft. It's not rare enough.]
{I heartily agree with what you are talking about, but it said "will" as in, there is more in store for me.}
[Ok, but that was a "duh" given our system.]
{Now you are making me sad. Stop, eh?}
[Fine, I'll be quiet. Enjoy your Summer break. Mom's coming in a couple days.]

[ApAperture]

One time, I had a fortune that said, "You will be hungry again in two hours."

[Lady Quindecim]

lq@LAMPLight ~ $ fortune
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.

Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.


Okay, okay.... that is diverging from the spirit of the thread. How about:
lq@LAMPLight ~ $ fortune
You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford.

[Nolano]

http://xkcd.com/425/