Headline of the Day

[Empty Wallet]

This is one for KidLazy:

Goldfish survives loo flush

A goldfish which survived being flushed down the toilet is enjoying a new lease of life after being rescued from a sewage plant.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090820/...h-dba1618.html

[Empty Wallet]

London cash machines offer Cockney slang option

Would you Adam and Eve it? Cash machines in east London are offering customers the option of using the local Cockney rhyming slang to get their hands on their sausage, so to speak.

Five automated teller machines (ATMs) in the East End are going Cockney for three months from Monday.

While cash machines with several language options are commonplace in some countries, the chance to use rhyming slang could leave those unfamiliar with the east London lingo in a right load of Barney Rubble.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090824...s-a7ad41d.html

[KidLazy]

This is one for KidLazy:

Goldfish survives loo flush

A goldfish which survived being flushed down the toilet is enjoying a new lease of life after being rescued from a sewage plant.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090820/...h-dba1618.html

Haha. So far the biggest thing That I have seen fished out is baseball.

[Empty Wallet]

French towns on one-way street to head-on collision

French commuters ran head-on into a local political standoff Tuesday after feuding towns redirected road markings to leave two busy one-way streets facing off against each other.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090901...e-03029af.html

[Empty Wallet]

Stalker snake bites man on nose

A MAN has told of how a snake is stalking his Territory home after it slid into his bed and bit him on the face while he slept.

Jeff Hosie got the fright of his life when he woke to a snake latched on to his nose

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-13762,00.html

[Empty Wallet]

'Drunk' Frenchman concedes match after dozing off - report

A top-rated French chess player had to concede a game at a major tournament when he dozed off during a match after reportedly showing up drunk, local media said on Friday.

Russian-born Vladislav Tkachiev was declared "lost on time" on Thursday after officials at the Kolkata Open Grandmasters found he was unable to continue his game and had to be carried off, the Indian Express said.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090904...r-7f81b96.html

[Empty Wallet]

Shocker as Paris says something memorable

SOCIALITE Paris Hilton has found something worth talking about - she's in the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations.

The blonde heiress won a shock place with her advice: "Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in."

Paris, 28 - better known for partying than her memorable wit and wisdom - is listed with great speakers such as Winston Churchill and Oscar Wilde.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...ictionary.html

.

[Empty Wallet]

The Northern Territory Times is a great source for all your reptilian news:

Blokes get croc-shock at Darwin city beach

FOUR mates mucking about by a popular Darwin beach spot got a croc-shock when the turtle they thought was swimming nearby grew a big head and nobbly tail.

It turned out Rapid Creek boys and flatmates - Elliot Noble, 25, his brother Hayden, 29, Shane Stanford, 29, and Dorian Rondot, 26 - had been sharing the surf with a creeping crocodile about 3m long.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/200...05_ntnews.html

[Greybeard]

From the sports page:

Tiger Woods plays With own Balls Nike says

[larkascending]

Haha, that's a good one!

My all-time favorite headline ever, hands down:
"Putin denies dancing to ABBA hits"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7875372.stm

A sentence that nobody would ever have predicted. I'm also sure he danced. Who can resist those Swedish beats?

[Empty Wallet]

Banana sex cult leader splits after raid

PAPUA New Guinea police are hunting the leader of a sex cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they engaged in public sex.

The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them over the weekend, the Post Courier newspaper reported

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-23109,00.html

[Empty Wallet]

Concern Grows Over Skateboarding Tortoise


http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090918/...r-870a197.html

[KidLazy]

Did Empty Wallet huhh... pass gas that morning?

http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-09-23-voa12.cfm

Haha

[Empty Wallet]

Did Empty Wallet huhh... pass gas that morning?

http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-09-23-voa12.cfm

Haha

Nah, the cleaner came and did the kids' rooms.

[Empty Wallet]

Left-hand undies wage equal rights tights fight

A BRITISH store is launching a range of underpants for left-handed men, an innovation it said would save them both time and embarrassment in front of the porcelain.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-23109,00.html

[Empty Wallet]

Man sues BofA for "1,784 billion, trillion dollars"

The sum also dwarfs the world's 2008 gross domestic product of $60 trillion, as estimated by the World Bank.

"These are the kind of numbers you deal with only on a cosmic scale," said Sylvain Cappell, New York University's Silver Professor at the Courant Institute for Mathematical Sciences. "If he thinks Bank of America has branches on every planet in the cosmos, then it might start to make some sense."

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/22/20090925...m-d987f7f.html

[chase]

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090925...p-2021f23.html

[Empty Wallet]

Give me your puppy or I'll shoot


IN one of Sydney’s weirdest crimes, a young woman has been accused of pulling a gun on a dog owner at their home in a brazen attempt to steal a Chihuahua puppy after posing as a would-be buyer.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...-1225780256920

[Empty Wallet]

Bicycle thief rides off with cash drawer

A thief wielding a fake gun robbed a convenience store in Melbourne's north before escaping on a bicycle with a cash drawer under his arm, police say.

http://www.theage.com.au/national/bi...0929-g9j8.html

[Empty Wallet]

Real estate agent forgets to mention nuclear power stations

A BRITISH real estate agent has come under fire for failing to show two huge nuclear power plants in an advertisement for a "traditional fisherman’s cottage".

http://www.news.com.au/business/mone...013951,00.html