Headline of the Day

[Fencergrl]

I guess if you can't buy the things you want you pray for them.

[Empty Wallet]

Horse goes nuts, then takes a bite

AAP March 12, 2009 03:17pm

AN Indonesian villager had to be rushed to hospital after a horse bit off one of his testicles during a freak attack.

The 35-year-old man was unloading sand from a horse-drawn cart at a construction site in Sulawesi earlier this week when the attack occurred, Indonesia's state-run news agency Antara reported.

A witness said the animal suddenly lunged at the man, sinking its teeth into his crotch.

Shocked bystanders loaded the man into a car to take him to hospital, before one noticed a piece of flesh on the pavement.

"Luckily the horse did not chew up or swallow his testicle, but spit it onto the pavement," the bystander was quoted as saying.

"So I picked it up and brought it to the doctor at the hospital where the victim was being treated."

It was not know whether doctors attempted to sew it back on.

The 70-year-old owner of the horse, Budi, said the animal was trained but sometimes turned wild, and had bitten in the past

[Insipiens]

'Sausage-pony' prompts 999 calls

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/e...re/7939187.stm

A pony with short legs and a long body has caused numerous people to call the emergency services in the mistaken belief she is stuck in the mud. ...

[Empty Wallet]

Nagging wife for sale

A man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale - and received a number of offers.

* Groom sets fire to wedding hotel
* Looking for love? Search online

(from uk.news.yahoo.com)

[Empty Wallet]

Hospital Food

not an odd headline. Not really a story. An album of variously odd to disgusting food at a themed restaurant in Latvia:


http://www.news.com.au/travel/galler...07153,00.html#

[Greybeard]

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says

Well, if you have a lot of time on your hands

[magic_moose]

Summer's coming: Are pool drains safe for kids?
-- AP

And to think we were worried about an obesity epidemic among the youth.

[Empty Wallet]

Go to the baseball ..... and die, Homer

US ballpark to sell 4,800-calorie burger
March 26, 2009 - 11:09AM

A baseball park in Michigan has created an artery-busting hamburger containing 4,800 calories and is daring fans to eat the "snack," promising a free t-shirt to anyone who succeeds.

In an apparent bid to cook up some comfort food during hard economic times, the West Michigan Whitecaps are offering fans a behemoth dubbed the Fifth Third Burger, named after the team's ballpark and the meal's five beef patties, which each weigh one third of a pound (136 grams).

The burger is smothered with chili, salsa, sour cream and a dollop of melted nacho-style cheese -- topped off with Frito chips, lettuce, tomato and five slices of American cheese and laid out in a bun made with a pound (454 grams) of dough.

"Besides being unique and large and bizarre, it tastes good," Whitecaps president Scott Lane told the Grand Rapids News.

"I'm sure there are going to be crazies that come down and try to eat the entire thing."

In addition to weighing in at more than double the US daily recommended caloric intake, the Fifth Third Burger contains nearly 300 grams of fat, 744 milligrams of cholesterol and more than 10,000 milligrams of sodium, the paper said.

Lane shrugged off the health implications inherent in taking on the Fifth Third.

"At home, people eat healthy. When they come to a game, they might eat a hot dog."

The season opens on April 9.

© 2009 AFP

[Empty Wallet]

Pigeons used to smuggle phones into prison

* April 1, 2009 - 5:31PM

Police say inmates are using carrier pigeons to smuggle cell phones onto a prison farm in southeastern Brazil.

Police inspector Celso Soramiglio says that guards at a prison near the city of Sorocaba caught a pigeon last Wednesday with components of a small cell phone inside a bag tied to one of its legs.

A day later, another pigeon was found with a bag containing a cell phone charger.

The birds apparently were bred and raised inside the prison, smuggled out, outfitted with the cell phone parts and then released to fly back.

Soramiglio noted that pigeons "instinctively fly back home - always".

He says police photographed the pigeons and then released them.

AP

[Empty Wallet]

Uni serves up porn flick Pirates II to curb student drinking

From correspondents in Washington, US

Agence France-Presse


AN attempt to distract university students in Maryland from late-night drinking with a feature-length porn movie was blocked yesterday after state senators threatened to cut funds for the college.

The two-and-a-half-hour Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge - the most expensive pornographic film ever made, at a cost of $US10 million ($14 million) - would have been shown at a University of Maryland student union theatre tomorrow.

Organisers at the College Park campus, 16km north of Washington, had championed educational aspects of the screening, with health group Planned Parenthood planning to hold a presentation on safe sex practices beforehand.

The event was also previously seen by university officials as an "alternative to late-night drinking and other dangerous activities,'' the Baltimore Sun reported before the cancellation.

Republican state senator Andy Harris, however, proposed an amendment to the state budget to deny millions of dollars in funding for any educational institutions that screen a porn movie.

Mr Harris said he had been "shocked and dismayed'' to hear the college was going to screen the movie, and denounced what he described as the "dangers of pornography.''


``I am pleased to know that the university did the right thing and canceled this movie. However, I remain concerned that they do not have a policy prohibiting this,'' the senator said in a statement after the university reversed its decision.

Linda Clement, the university's vice president of student affairs, denied the cancellation was linked to threats made by state lawmakers.

"No, we canceled the (showing) because the educational context of the movie has been lost in the titillation that's been associated with the movie itself,'' according to Clement's spokesman Millree Williams.

"That's hard to believe,'' responded Adam Kissel, director of the Individual Rights Defense Program based in Pennsylvania.

Mr Kissel said his education rights group was "very concerned'' about the likely constitutional violation, namely the First Amendment that protects free speech.

"Strictly based on the plot and the trailer, the movie has plenty of action beyond the sexual action -- it has a plot, it has intrigue, just like any movie.

"So it's almost 100 per cent certain that the university is violating the free speech rights of the students.''

Digital Playground, the adult film company behind Pirates II, said on its website it had already shown the film to thousands of students on several college campuses this year.

[Empty Wallet]

Brothel crash driver flees

Driver of a $175k Mercedes flees the scene after crashing into a Richmond brothel

[Fencergrl]

I think this is one of the only times where I've seen a news story involving a politician and a beaver when it wasn't a scandal....

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia...ng-beaver.html

[Empty Wallet]

More rodent stories (or whatever sort of creatures these are):


Raccoon bites off rapist's penis

January 27, 2009 08:25am

A RAGING raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with friends when he leapt on the terrified animal.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

[Fencergrl]

Raccoons are vicious. I've seen one take on a pitbull in my backyard (the pitbull scaled an 8'0" fence to get to it).

[magic_moose]

My brother-in-law hiked the Appalachian Trail many years ago. While passing through New Hampshire, he spent the evening camped with a Scotsman who had come over to hike on his holiday. The Scot built a fire to cook a steak over. When the fire was right, he laid the steak on a plate and bent over the fire to re-arrange the coals for cooking. A raccoon came out of the woods, grabbed his steak, and took off down the hill. He grabbed a big stick and, in spite of everyone's advice, ran down the hill after the 'coon saying it was a "small animal". Everyone heard a lot of ruckus down the hill. He came back a few minutes later and announced that he wasn't quite as hungry as he had thought.

[Empty Wallet]

Look into my eyes...

Conman hypnotises jeweller, steals diamonds

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090413...i-879dccc.html

[Empty Wallet]

Our dog ate my G-string'



A TERRITORY dog's knickers fetish almost cost him his life when he swallowed his owner's G-string over the Easter long weekend.

Vets said that elastic on the size 10, lacy, black G-string became wrapped around the intestines of Baxter, a two-year-old cavalier king charles spaniel.

Baxter's owner, who was too embarrassed to be named, said she rushed her tiny pooch to the University Avenue Veterinary Hospital in Palmerston at 9pm on Saturday after she became concerned when the ''usual pig when it comes to food'' was refusing to eat and started vomiting.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/200...55_ntnews.html

[Empty Wallet]

Ben Nyaumbe bites snake in hour-long battle in Malindi, Kenya

A KENYAN man says he had to bite a snake in a fight for survival that ended with them both falling out of a tree.

Farm manager Ben Nyaumbe said he was working alone at a property near Malindi, on the Kenyan coast, when he stepped on something "spongy" and found a python was wrapping itself around his legs.

“The python, apparently hunting for goats, attempted to bind both my legs. But I struggled hard,” he told the Daily Nation.

The snake then coiled around his left arm.

“It waggled its ragged and scary tail on my mouth. I had to bite it as I struggled, one hand incapacitated,” he said.

Mr Nyaymbe said he grabbed onto a tree to stop the snake dragging him away. But after an hour he tired and let go of the tree.

He said the snake pulled him up into another tree but rested when it reached the branches.

“This gave me the opportunity to remove my phone from my pocket. I had not been able to do so all the time I struggled,” he said,

Mr Nyaumbe called his boss who went to the farm, accompanied by police.

He said police were reluctant to shoot the snake for fear of hitting him too.

With his boss and police offficers watching Mr Nyaumbe tore off part of his shirt, covered the python's head and tied a rope around it.

The man and reptile fell to the ground "with a thud" and the python was captured and taken to the
Falconry of Kenya sanctuary.

The snake escaped from the sanctuary the next day

[Fencergrl]

[I]A TERRITORY dog's knickers fetish

This is weirdly common, I know several dogs with underwear fetishes.

My teenage nieces have to deal with their Chihuahua stealing their underwear and chewing them up. They obviously like brightly coloured ones, as their lawn is errr... very colourful.

The worse (and perhaps most embarrassing) was our neighbour's pitbull who used to sneak into our house (when the doors were open) and get into our laundry hamper. I spent many summers chasing a pitbull across the grass hoping to retrieve my underwear before she made it back to her owners with her "prize". I'm just grateful that old age and bad knees got to her before me.

Keep up the stories EW... I love this thread!

[kmwong]

Rump-shakin' TV ad pitches kids' meals

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bes...uare.butts.cnn

I actually saw the ad while watching TV one night. Disturbinngg. But amusing at the same time.