Advanced Medical Directives/ Living Wills

[erik_blank]

I've spent the last few days sitting beside the hospital bed of my ex-stepmother who is suffering from COPD. She is in great discomfort due to the respirator that she is on and the various other tubes that the doctors have placed in her to maintain life. The diagnosis is not good, with the doctors saying that her lungs are so severely damaged that she will probably never come off the respirator even if she is given a Tracheotomy, and that her quality of life will be very poor. Unfortunately I have no say in her medical treatment, and because she never informed us o the existence of a living will/advanced medical directive, we have little to go on for guidance in her care. Worse, there is no clear person designated as her decision maker, so the entire family must debate and agonize over what to do.

I have always felt that it would be good to have a living will/Advanced Medical Directive on hand, but I have never gone to the trouble of actually creating such a thing. Now, however, this whole incident has forced me to re-visit my need to create such a document so that I can help my loved ones in the future make decisions based on how I feel I want to be treated.

So Here is my question:

Do any of you out there currently have your own Living Will / Advanced Medical Directive filled out and disseminated to your family/friends?


If yes, how long have you had it?
Care to share what you have decided about EOL situations?
If not, Why Not?

Here is hoping that your loved ones are never forced to make life and death decisions without your guidance

[Mergs]

Both my wife and I have AMD/LWs, and we've had them for almost 9 years. It was something that we had done when I was mobilized to deploy to Bosnia, and had to have a will made. Our executor has copies; however, I'm not sure that we told him specifically about our wishes. I think he kinda knows, but either way, it's in the AMD/LW.

My sympathies to you for having to deal with this, especially during this time of year. You are a good person for what you are doing, and may you find comfort in knowing that what you are doing is extraordinary, and special.

[lindajdunn]

My mother has one, which is on file at the assisted living facility where she resides and it was written by her attorney.

I don't have one but I do have a document on my web site which explicitly states my desires (it's in a private area) so that if the matter should go to court, there is something in writing. I just haven't gotten around to paying an attorney for this yet.

[erik_blank]

My mother has one, which is on file at the assisted living facility where she resides and it was written by her attorney.

I don't have one but I do have a document on my web site which explicitly states my desires (it's in a private area) so that if the matter should go to court, there is something in writing. I just haven't gotten around to paying an attorney for this yet.

I believe that many states simply require that you fill out a form, and have it noterized. I am checking int PA's requirements on this over the weekend.
All that I can say is that everyone should make plans now so that in the future when you are in such a situation where you cannot let others know about your wishes directly, someone has prior guidance from you.
Something else to think about: having an advanced directive in place does not mean that you want someone to pull the plug at thwe first sign you are ill. In fact, it is quite possible to state that you want to hang on tooth and toenail no matter WHAT the doctors think may or may not be happening.
Let your doctors and loved ones know in advanced. It's the least you can do!

[Peach]

My mother has a Living Will, but she also has a local daughter (me) and a daughter with a power-of-attorney (my sister) which is good because no matter how much you have in the way of Living Wills, that won't keep the paramedics from doing everything in their power to resuscitate you unless there is someone VERY nearby who can say don't DO that.

As I just did this morning, which means my mother (who has advanced Parkinson's and has stopped taking in nourishment) is in hospice care, thank goodness, instead of in the hospital on Christmas Eve with an IV in her, which would drive her right out of her gourd before it killed her, but only after keeping her from dying the way she wants.

My mother-in-law had one, but the paramedics dealt with her on the way to the hospital so it took a couple of days to get her off the respirator.

[Greybeard]

I have had one since I went to law school and took Wills and Trusts. I am lucky, my former study partner is a probate attorney so she did them for me. I cannot stress the importance of some sort of document.

Attorneys may charge upwards of $1,000 and it depends on the size of the estate. Some places have paralegal groups that can draft them and then they are reviewed by an attorney to make sure they are right. My in laws did not have an attorney draw it up and when my FIL passed a few years ago it was a mess. He was diabetic and had his legs amputated and then sank into a comma. It was ugly.

In my case I am glad I had one since the stroke and two subsequent brain surgeries. Number three is to be scheduled. The hardest thing I did before surgery two was update it. But it would have meant my wife, kids and now grandchildren are covered