First of all the spec for an Epee is independent of sex. The size and weight is controlled by the technical spec as laid down in the current set of rules. However, there is a lot you can do to customise it so that it feels better.
Get an ultralight guard, you've already cottoned onto this one. I like my LP ultra-light, when you combine it with a V blabde I think you get a nice weight to it - it certainly isn't as heavy as my old BF-Allstar combo.
Get the right grip. This make a big difference. A decent grip doesn't affect the weight of the weapon as much as it affects the feel. Too small and you won't be able to grip it without cramping your hand, too large and you won't be able to grip it effectively.
Get the cant right. This is the set of the blade. Again this helps the feel of the blade. Getting the cant set to you will help you score those important wrist hits

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So in summary experimant and determine what equipment/blade set combo suits you.