new fencing dad going crazy

[omega303]

My kids started fencing a few months ago and I'm not sure if the program is right for them.
The kids have a good time with the other kids but don't care for the coach and at times are left doing nothing on the sidelines.
I guess what we are looking for is bit more structure and a coach who seems to care.
Has anyone else had this problem and if you did what did you do?

[Phincer]

If the kids notice that not much is going on and they don't like the coach, then you might want to just have a chat with him/her and see what their philosophy of coaching entails. Maybe stay and observe a class or two.

If you don't get the warm fuzzy feeling that things will eventually go right, maybe its time to go shopping for a new club. Hopefully you have more than one in the area to choose from.

How long have they been taking lessons and what are their ages?

[MdA]

Have your kids been to any organized competitions outside the club? Or have they only been fencing and taking classes at the club?

What is the size of the classes? Like Phincer's questions..what are the ages of you kids and the other fencers in the club and their classes?

Is there more than one coach in the club?

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Also kinda depends what you/they mean by "sitting on the sidelines"--- If people are bouting and there aren't enough strips/directors for everyone to fence at once, some people may be watching. You can learn a lot in the beginning by actually WATCHING other fencing, but if you're goofing off and talking, you don't learn much.

There's also organized streching or water break/attention break time that can look or feel like wasted time, but is actually quite important.

But I agree-- if you're feelin uncomfortable, and a talk with the coach doesn't make you feel better, start looking at other places.

Also... You might be exaggerating with "going crazy" in your thread title, but think carefully-- are you too invested? A month's worth of fencing is only going to help kids figure out if they want to keep fencing or not. They're going to be relearning what they're learning now for a good year. And depending on how young they are, the point of a fencing class is supposed to be fun, and that's about it. I obviously don't have enough information, but is more structure really needed?

[Zilverzmurfen]

Depending on the kids age "sitting by the sidelines" could just mean the child is too shy to participate in the actions going on on the floor or pistes. Some children are also "pouty" and stubborn and don't want to participate because their parents "forced" them to fencing.

You say they have a good time with the other kids, but do not care so much for the coach; perhaps they just enjoy getting playtime with the other kids and are really too young or simply un-interested in the actual fencing?

I'm not saying this is the case with your children, but all we can do here is make guesses since you didn't provide so much information.

[Mo]

Originally Posted by omega303

My kids started fencing a few months ago and I'm not sure if the program is right for them.
The kids have a good time with the other kids but don't care for the coach and at times are left doing nothing on the sidelines.
I guess what we are looking for is bit more structure and a coach who seems to care.
Has anyone else had this problem and if you did what did you do?

I would say stop now while you still have a chance. Take up hiking or backpacking or stamp collecting with your kids.
Sheesh buy a sailboat or something.
Stay away from fencing....
The Momster

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Originally Posted by Mo

I would say stop now while you still have a chance. Take up hiking or backpacking or stamp collecting with your kids.
Sheesh buy a sailboat or something.
Stay away from fencing....
The Momster

Ignore the woman behind that bronze curtain....

[omega303]

WOW, Great way to help the sport grow,You should do PR for all youth fencing!

[pokey]

Originally Posted by Mo

Take up hiking or backpacking or stamp collecting with your kids.

Not to threadjack too much, but in the world of self-adhesive sticker stamps, is there really still stamp collecting to be done?

/Used to collect stamps the old fashioned way

[SJCFU#2]

Originally Posted by Mo

Sheesh buy a sailboat or something.

I wouldn't recommend buying a sailboat as an alternative.

There's a reason why you hear so many jokes about the definition of a boat ("a hole in the water into which one pours money") and the happiest days of boat owner's life ("the day he buys it and the day he sells it"). And don't even get me started on the joys of owning a classic, wooden-hulled boat ("no thank you, I already have a full-time job").

[dcmdale]

Originally Posted by omega303

WOW, Great way to help the sport grow,You should do PR for all youth fencing!

You have to realize her kid just took two bronze medals in Beijing.

[omega303]

Better yet!!!

[TodG]

Have you considered fencing yourself? I've started teaching my kids, and now it is a family activity.

[Tyldak]

The rare times a parent approaches me about this, I suggest they watch a whole practice. Is the coach organized? Is there a lesson plan or curriculum? Do the kids have the same routine (e.g. warm-up, stretch, footwork, drills, bouting), or does the coach just "turn them loose" to do whatever while he/she gives private lessons? Having kids sit on the sidelines, watching other kids fence, and talking amongst themselves is not necessarily a bad thing. We all learn by watching other people fence and we all get more attached to/involved in the sport by forming social bonds. Does your kid have a sense of what he/she wants to achieve in fencing? Is the coach providing some help with forming those goals? Does the kid leave with a flush face, sweaty from a good workout, or does he/she leave with barely any sweat on his/her uniform?

IMHO, kids under 13 years should have very formally structured practices, with very little free time/chatting. 13ish to 15ish, they actually need a little more breathing space. By 16ish up, they are either a committed, self-motivated competitive fencer, or they are pretty much resigned to having fencing be their fun/social activity. That may change once they're in college. Anyway, the coach should be providing a lot of structure for younger kids, but don't expect as much structure for older kids.

As another poster said, ever consider taking up fencing yourself? It will help give you an idea of what all is involved in training...!

Just some thoughts.

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Originally Posted by Tyldak

IMHO, kids under 13 years should have very formally structured practices, with very little free time/chatting. 13ish to 15ish, they actually need a little more breathing space. By 16ish up, they are either a committed, self-motivated competitive fencer, or they are pretty much resigned to having fencing be their fun/social activity. That may change once they're in college. Anyway, the coach should be providing a lot of structure for younger kids, but don't expect as much structure for older kids.

And of course there's the kids under 10 (and sometimes the 11 and 12 year olds, depending on maturity) that should really mostly be doing structured play that kind of has some fencing involved. Some of the really little kids can do things like lessons. Most can't. You want them to have fun, and learn a little something. You don't want them to be pressured until they hate it. That's what happened for me and Ballet...

[ESLyon]

Originally Posted by Tyldak

IMHO, kids under 13 years should have very formally structured practices, with very little free time/chatting. 13ish to 15ish, they actually need a little more breathing space. By 16ish up, they are either a committed, self-motivated competitive fencer, or they are pretty much resigned to having fencing be their fun/social activity. That may change once they're in college. Anyway, the coach should be providing a lot of structure for younger kids, but don't expect as much structure for older kids.

Tyldak, I do not mean to argue, just another opinion, which may or may not transfer to fencing, seeing as I have little experience as of yet in this sport.

I cannot speak as a fencing coach, but I have taught gymnastics to kids of all ages for four years... I would say that kids start gymnastics much younger than fencing (some as young as one year old, most higher-level gymnasts have been doing it since the ages of 4-6) But generally, when someone starts gymnastics in the beginner classes at a young age, (2-6 years) less structure and more "fun" time is used, simply to keep the kids interested and having fun, and this sometimes means letting them have a rest, roam "free" on an obstacle course, or talking to them about things while they seemingly "do nothing".

I guess what I'm trying to say is just because they seem to be sitting on the sidelines does not mean they are doing nothing. Like many others have suggested, I would recommend talking to the coach and letting him/her know your concerns. I know as a coach (again, gymnastics coach) that if someone who pays for my check talks to me and feels something is wrong, I am going to listen and if possible, (which it not always is) acommodate their request. Any coach, in my humble opinion, who does not listen to the customer quite frankly does not deserve your business. And keep in mind sometimes I would listen to a parents request, talk to them, and decide that that was not in the best interest of their child's development, and I would tell that parent of my decision, albeit respectively. Give respect where you expect it back, and vice versa, but sometimes, things just don't work, and you may want to consider other sports.

[brtech]

Originally Posted by SJCFU#2

I wouldn't recommend buying a sailboat as an alternative.

There's a reason why you hear so many jokes about the definition of a boat ("a hole in the water into which one pours money") and the happiest days of boat owner's life ("the day he buys it and the day he sells it"). And don't even get me started on the joys of owning a classic, wooden-hulled boat ("no thank you, I already have a full-time job").

Okay, I will share with you the BEST name for a boat, since it is clear you have owned one. And the winner is:
Never Again II

[HookUpandFence]

I started, mostly to give myself something to do while my then 10yr old fenced (and to loose weight)
We were pretty unstructured, but Coach appointed me captain after I figured out what I was doing and then I would lead some group activities (or simply encourage more fencing/less goofing off) while Coach did the lesson things. But the thing was, Coach was always very attentive to the room as a whole, even during lessons. The general rule for the kids was:
Fence first, then play.
I think it worked well.

[TBean]

Talk to the coach about what is the teaching plan. I'm not sure from your post if you have watched an entire class or perhaps just the end when your kids are maybe at the point where they are bouting and waiting for an opponent?

Different clubs take different approaches - out club is fairly structured. Others are more loosely organized.