08-13-2008, 11:32 PM
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#1 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
| My mom doesn't want me to learn fencing!
As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!
If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.
I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do? | 
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08-13-2008, 11:46 PM
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#2 | | The Judge
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,320
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue  I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do? | ask them why they're against it. | 
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08-13-2008, 11:54 PM
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#3 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
| My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh. | |
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08-14-2008, 12:50 AM
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#4 | | Member
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Western MA
Posts: 85
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh. | How many sports do you participate in? Maybe giving up another sport to take fencing would ease your parents decision. Is it a financial decision? The cost of swimming might be cheaper than fencing with all it's gear and lessons and membership fees. When I was a kid, I wanted to try all kinds of sports but I was limited to only what I could afford myself. My family couldn't afford lessons and equipment for the sports I wanted to learn.
Good luck. If you really want to fence you'll find a way. | |
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08-14-2008, 01:05 AM
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#5 | | The Judge
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,320
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh. | cross-training is very beneficial. especially during the off season. | |
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08-14-2008, 01:20 AM
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#6 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
| I'm on my school's volleyball and swim teams - thats about it. I ocassionally do summer swim.
For what its worth, my parents spend as much money on baseball for my brother (he's 13) as they would for fencing, so I'm not sure its purely a financial thing. | |
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08-14-2008, 07:50 AM
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#7 | | Yes We Did
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 2,161
| Express that to them. Then, if that doesn't work, tell them you hate them and slam the door.
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>:U | |
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08-14-2008, 09:20 AM
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#8 | | Fencing Expert
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,664
| How much do you want to learn fencing?
Enough to give up something?
Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?
Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?
You don't give a lot of information about your family dynamics (and quite frankly, I don't want to know them) but if I had a kid who came home one day and told me he/she was giving up an after school sport and getting a part time job to pay for something they wanted to do (as per your OP), then I certainly would be taking his/her interest seriously. Perhaps seriously enough to over come my objections.
AE | |
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08-14-2008, 10:57 AM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 318
| My son was a soccer player and swimmer until he found fencing. Now he just sees swimming as boring and pointless (except for cross-training purposes, and even though we have a lap pool, he doesn't use it often...sorry, I digress).
To just say "no" with no reason screams for a parent/child summit meeting. Stay calm, listen to the reasons they give you.
They may be just misinformed as to the value of fencing to the individual. If you love it as much as you think you will, you'll be fencing long after your brother gives up baseball.
As a parent, that is what I like best about the sport- my kid may never go to the Olympics, but he'll be involved in a sport he loves for the rest of his life. I'm so happy we could do that for him.
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Phincer | |
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08-14-2008, 11:49 AM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: being watched
Posts: 1,948
| I never, ever, ever thought I would say this, but...
Listen to your 'rents.
Unless it is a purely monitary issue (and it does nto really sound like it is) and you can offer a solution that would let them support you in all the other ways parents support us, don't fight them over this.
Pick your battles. There are things you just will not be able to do without them until you are really on your own.
Debate, nag, cajole, etc, but don't just circumvent them.
I think it will just not me good in the end. Wait until you get to college or out on your own, if you cannot convince them.
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And along came the lesser known fifth horseman of the Apocalypse: Bob YouthAids | |
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08-14-2008, 02:13 PM
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#11 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| I believe I detect the faint aroma of "Fencing? SWORDS? It's DANGEROUS! Not for MY BABY!" 
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-14-2008, 02:39 PM
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#12 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,759
| Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine. 
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Fencing is my only PvP. | |
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08-14-2008, 03:52 PM
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#13 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| But if so keep swimming, you'll need all the bathing you can get to shed the reek. 
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-15-2008, 12:25 AM
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#14 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
| Enough to give up something?
I gave up lacrosse AND a whole season of swimming.
Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?
I'm using most of the money I've got to pay for my first set of lessons, and I'm currently in the process of getting a job.
Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?
Of course; I'm not doing it purely to 'be amazing and win all the time' I want to do it because I really like everything about the sport. Its a good combo of brains and brawn.
Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine
hehe...I like watching épée the most actually.
side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol? | |
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08-15-2008, 01:39 AM
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#15 | | Member
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Swarthmore
Posts: 98
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol? | I think that may just be Becca Ward...
I'm assuming you are high school age or young since you actually have time for more than one serious sport sooo try the academic argument - It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones.
Is all of this 100% true? Probably not. The college admissions process is a bit more complicated than that. But the parents don't need to know that. | |
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08-15-2008, 07:12 AM
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#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,586
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!
If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.
I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do? | Listen to them. Why don't you start a business of some sort? Have you considered that?
How about rock collecting?
Your parents obviously see how much fencing can affect your life. If you want to have a life do something that does not rule it.
The Momster
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A friend will bail you out of jail,
a true friend will help you hide the body...: ) | |
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08-15-2008, 03:15 PM
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#17 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
| Quote: |
How about rock collecting?
| Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones. Quote: |
It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones
| I won't be swimming in college - thats another ongoing argument - but I would like to fence throughout college (and longer). And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus | |
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08-15-2008, 06:19 PM
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#18 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones.
| You stay the hell away from me, I ain't done with 'em yet!
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-15-2008, 08:06 PM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 491
| Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus | Learning the correct name of the latter institution might be a start.
As for the parents, patiently explain to them that you'd like to fence because you think you'd really enjoy it, but more because it might help you stand out as a more interesting candidate to great university. Which attending could help you get into a great medical or law school. Which could help you get a great job and make a lot of money so you can help them down the road. You'd really be doing it for them.
And the thought of you not fencing and them having to eat dog food in their golden years makes you very sad. | |
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08-15-2008, 09:06 PM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: SF bay wine country
Posts: 323
| Well it might help if you let you parents know about fencing scholarships. I read not too long ago about the percent of recipients that get fencing scholarships in comparison to other very popular sports, and the percentage was high for fencing because it is such an unusual (?) sport. Plus girls are really good at it, which is good for title 9 here in the US. Plus the really hoite toite schools are the ones where there are fencing scholarships. Maybe that will help. Plus you will seldom go wrong following your passion (except concerning boys, when you will almost always be wrong), so good luck.
Here are a couple of links: http://www.sport-scholarships.com/en...arshipsusa.htm http://schoolscholarships.org/fencin...costly-college
I hope you can join us fencing. But if you cannot, we will be here when you can.
Sam
Sam | |
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