My mom doesn't want me to learn fencing! - Fencing.Net Discussion
topleft topright

Go Back   Fencing.Net Discussion > General Fencing > Parent's Corner

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-13-2008, 11:32 PM   #1
Just Joined
 
CaptainBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
CaptainBlue is on a distinguished road
My mom doesn't want me to learn fencing!

As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!

If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.

I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?
CaptainBlue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
And now for this message...
Go Green members don't see these ads.


Old 08-13-2008, 11:46 PM   #2
The Judge
 
noodle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,320
noodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?
ask them why they're against it.
noodle is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2008, 11:54 PM   #3
Just Joined
 
CaptainBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
CaptainBlue is on a distinguished road
My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.
CaptainBlue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 12:50 AM   #4
Member
 
headcut's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Western MA
Posts: 85
headcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to beholdheadcut is a splendid one to behold
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.
How many sports do you participate in? Maybe giving up another sport to take fencing would ease your parents decision. Is it a financial decision? The cost of swimming might be cheaper than fencing with all it's gear and lessons and membership fees. When I was a kid, I wanted to try all kinds of sports but I was limited to only what I could afford myself. My family couldn't afford lessons and equipment for the sports I wanted to learn.

Good luck. If you really want to fence you'll find a way.
headcut is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 01:05 AM   #5
The Judge
 
noodle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,320
noodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond reputenoodle has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.
cross-training is very beneficial. especially during the off season.
noodle is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 01:20 AM   #6
Just Joined
 
CaptainBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
CaptainBlue is on a distinguished road
I'm on my school's volleyball and swim teams - thats about it. I ocassionally do summer swim.

For what its worth, my parents spend as much money on baseball for my brother (he's 13) as they would for fencing, so I'm not sure its purely a financial thing.
CaptainBlue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 07:50 AM   #7
Yes We Did
 
erooMynohtnA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 2,161
erooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond reputeerooMynohtnA has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to erooMynohtnA
Express that to them. Then, if that doesn't work, tell them you hate them and slam the door.
__________________
>:U
erooMynohtnA is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 09:20 AM   #8
Fencing Expert
 
Allen Evans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,664
Allen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond reputeAllen Evans has a reputation beyond repute
How much do you want to learn fencing?

Enough to give up something?

Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?

Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?

You don't give a lot of information about your family dynamics (and quite frankly, I don't want to know them) but if I had a kid who came home one day and told me he/she was giving up an after school sport and getting a part time job to pay for something they wanted to do (as per your OP), then I certainly would be taking his/her interest seriously. Perhaps seriously enough to over come my objections.

AE
Allen Evans is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 10:57 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Phincer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 318
Phincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond reputePhincer has a reputation beyond repute
My son was a soccer player and swimmer until he found fencing. Now he just sees swimming as boring and pointless (except for cross-training purposes, and even though we have a lap pool, he doesn't use it often...sorry, I digress).

To just say "no" with no reason screams for a parent/child summit meeting. Stay calm, listen to the reasons they give you.

They may be just misinformed as to the value of fencing to the individual. If you love it as much as you think you will, you'll be fencing long after your brother gives up baseball.

As a parent, that is what I like best about the sport- my kid may never go to the Olympics, but he'll be involved in a sport he loves for the rest of his life. I'm so happy we could do that for him.
__________________
Phincer
Phincer is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 11:49 AM   #10
Senior Member
 
Lady Quindecim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: being watched
Posts: 1,948
Lady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond reputeLady Quindecim has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via Yahoo to Lady Quindecim
I never, ever, ever thought I would say this, but...
Listen to your 'rents.
Unless it is a purely monitary issue (and it does nto really sound like it is) and you can offer a solution that would let them support you in all the other ways parents support us, don't fight them over this.
Pick your battles. There are things you just will not be able to do without them until you are really on your own.
Debate, nag, cajole, etc, but don't just circumvent them.
I think it will just not me good in the end. Wait until you get to college or out on your own, if you cannot convince them.
__________________
And along came the lesser known fifth horseman of the Apocalypse: Bob
YouthAids
Lady Quindecim is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 02:13 PM   #11
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
 
Inquartata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
Inquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond repute
I believe I detect the faint aroma of "Fencing? SWORDS? It's DANGEROUS! Not for MY BABY!"
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
Inquartata is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 02:39 PM   #12
Épéeist Hive Queen
 
Zilverzmurfen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,759
Zilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond reputeZilverzmurfen has a reputation beyond repute
Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine.
__________________
Fencing is my only PvP.
Zilverzmurfen is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 03:52 PM   #13
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
 
Inquartata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
Inquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond repute
But if so keep swimming, you'll need all the bathing you can get to shed the reek.
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
Inquartata is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 12:25 AM   #14
Just Joined
 
CaptainBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
CaptainBlue is on a distinguished road
Enough to give up something?
I gave up lacrosse AND a whole season of swimming.

Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?

I'm using most of the money I've got to pay for my first set of lessons, and I'm currently in the process of getting a job.

Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?
Of course; I'm not doing it purely to 'be amazing and win all the time' I want to do it because I really like everything about the sport. Its a good combo of brains and brawn.

Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine
hehe...I like watching épée the most actually.


side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol?
CaptainBlue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 01:39 AM   #15
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Swarthmore
Posts: 98
Catseye is a splendid one to beholdCatseye is a splendid one to beholdCatseye is a splendid one to beholdCatseye is a splendid one to beholdCatseye is a splendid one to beholdCatseye is a splendid one to behold
Send a message via AIM to Catseye
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol?
I think that may just be Becca Ward...

I'm assuming you are high school age or young since you actually have time for more than one serious sport sooo try the academic argument - It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones.

Is all of this 100% true? Probably not. The college admissions process is a bit more complicated than that. But the parents don't need to know that.
Catseye is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 07:12 AM   #16
Mo
Senior Member
 
Mo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,586
Mo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond reputeMo has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!

If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.

I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?
Listen to them. Why don't you start a business of some sort? Have you considered that?
How about rock collecting?
Your parents obviously see how much fencing can affect your life. If you want to have a life do something that does not rule it.
The Momster
__________________
A friend will bail you out of jail,
a true friend will help you hide the body...
: )
Mo is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 03:15 PM   #17
Just Joined
 
CaptainBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 8
CaptainBlue is on a distinguished road
Quote:
How about rock collecting?
Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones.

Quote:
It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones
I won't be swimming in college - thats another ongoing argument - but I would like to fence throughout college (and longer). And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus
CaptainBlue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 06:19 PM   #18
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
 
Inquartata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
Inquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond reputeInquartata has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones.

You stay the hell away from me, I ain't done with 'em yet!
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
Inquartata is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 08:06 PM   #19
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 491
fencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond reputefencerX has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainBlue View Post
And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus
Learning the correct name of the latter institution might be a start.

As for the parents, patiently explain to them that you'd like to fence because you think you'd really enjoy it, but more because it might help you stand out as a more interesting candidate to great university. Which attending could help you get into a great medical or law school. Which could help you get a great job and make a lot of money so you can help them down the road. You'd really be doing it for them.

And the thought of you not fencing and them having to eat dog food in their golden years makes you very sad.
fencerX is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2008, 09:06 PM   #20
rdg
Senior Member
 
rdg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SF bay wine country
Posts: 323
rdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond reputerdg has a reputation beyond repute
Well it might help if you let you parents know about fencing scholarships. I read not too long ago about the percent of recipients that get fencing scholarships in comparison to other very popular sports, and the percentage was high for fencing because it is such an unusual (?) sport. Plus girls are really good at it, which is good for title 9 here in the US. Plus the really hoite toite schools are the ones where there are fencing scholarships. Maybe that will help. Plus you will seldom go wrong following your passion (except concerning boys, when you will almost always be wrong), so good luck.

Here are a couple of links:

http://www.sport-scholarships.com/en...arshipsusa.htm
http://schoolscholarships.org/fencin...costly-college

I hope you can join us fencing. But if you cannot, we will be here when you can.

Sam

Sam
rdg is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can you learn fencing from Hollywood? mrmgp Fencing Discussion 41 11-15-2007 06:34 PM
Your other sport - what can fencing learn or use? PeterGustafsson Fencing Discussion 0 06-26-2006 06:56 AM
can fencing learn something from curling? seak Fencing Discussion 14 03-03-2006 12:32 AM
Where can I learn fencing in Erie, PA? xanon New to Fencing 2 11-10-2005 10:00 AM
Dinner and Fencing... I have a LOT to learn! Feanor Fencing Discussion 13 05-03-2003 12:09 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:11 PM.