My mom doesn't want me to learn fencing!

[CaptainBlue]

As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!

If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.

I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?

[noodle]

I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?

ask them why they're against it.

[CaptainBlue]

My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.

[headcut]

My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.

How many sports do you participate in? Maybe giving up another sport to take fencing would ease your parents decision. Is it a financial decision? The cost of swimming might be cheaper than fencing with all it's gear and lessons and membership fees. When I was a kid, I wanted to try all kinds of sports but I was limited to only what I could afford myself. My family couldn't afford lessons and equipment for the sports I wanted to learn.

Good luck. If you really want to fence you'll find a way.

[noodle]

My mother said "I just don't think you should do it. Focus on swimming."
eh.

cross-training is very beneficial. especially during the off season.

[CaptainBlue]

I'm on my school's volleyball and swim teams - thats about it. I ocassionally do summer swim.

For what its worth, my parents spend as much money on baseball for my brother (he's 13) as they would for fencing, so I'm not sure its purely a financial thing.

[erooMynohtnA]

Express that to them. Then, if that doesn't work, tell them you hate them and slam the door.

[Allen Evans]

How much do you want to learn fencing?

Enough to give up something?

Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?

Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?

You don't give a lot of information about your family dynamics (and quite frankly, I don't want to know them) but if I had a kid who came home one day and told me he/she was giving up an after school sport and getting a part time job to pay for something they wanted to do (as per your OP), then I certainly would be taking his/her interest seriously. Perhaps seriously enough to over come my objections.

AE

[Phincer]

My son was a soccer player and swimmer until he found fencing. Now he just sees swimming as boring and pointless (except for cross-training purposes, and even though we have a lap pool, he doesn't use it often...sorry, I digress).

To just say "no" with no reason screams for a parent/child summit meeting. Stay calm, listen to the reasons they give you.

They may be just misinformed as to the value of fencing to the individual. If you love it as much as you think you will, you'll be fencing long after your brother gives up baseball.

As a parent, that is what I like best about the sport- my kid may never go to the Olympics, but he'll be involved in a sport he loves for the rest of his life. I'm so happy we could do that for him.

[Lady Quindecim]

I never, ever, ever thought I would say this, but...
Listen to your 'rents.
Unless it is a purely monitary issue (and it does nto really sound like it is) and you can offer a solution that would let them support you in all the other ways parents support us, don't fight them over this.
Pick your battles. There are things you just will not be able to do without them until you are really on your own.
Debate, nag, cajole, etc, but don't just circumvent them.
I think it will just not me good in the end. Wait until you get to college or out on your own, if you cannot convince them.

[Inquartata]

I believe I detect the faint aroma of "Fencing? SWORDS? It's DANGEROUS! Not for MY BABY!"

[Zilverzmurfen]

Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine.

[Inquartata]

But if so keep swimming, you'll need all the bathing you can get to shed the reek.

[CaptainBlue]

Enough to give up something?
I gave up lacrosse AND a whole season of swimming.

Enough to get a summer or part time job to pay for it, or use your allowance (if you have one)?

I'm using most of the money I've got to pay for my first set of lessons, and I'm currently in the process of getting a job.

Enough to stick with it even if you aren't intially successful?
Of course; I'm not doing it purely to 'be amazing and win all the time' I want to do it because I really like everything about the sport. Its a good combo of brains and brawn.

Just let your parents know you'll be taking up épée and you 'll be fine
hehe...I like watching épée the most actually.


side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol?

[Catseye]

side note: my dad told me he thinks I'll start "screeching like a bobcat" if I take up fencing. lol?

I think that may just be Becca Ward...

I'm assuming you are high school age or young since you actually have time for more than one serious sport sooo try the academic argument - It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones.

Is all of this 100% true? Probably not. The college admissions process is a bit more complicated than that. But the parents don't need to know that.

[Mo]

As the title says, my mom doesn't want me to take fencing lessons, even though it is something I really want to do. My dad agrees with her!

If I take up fencing (which I am- I already found a club) I would have to pay for everything myself and lack the support of my family.

I can't figure out why my parents are so against this. What the heck should I do?

Listen to them. Why don't you start a business of some sort? Have you considered that?
How about rock collecting?
Your parents obviously see how much fencing can affect your life. If you want to have a life do something that does not rule it.
The Momster

[CaptainBlue]

How about rock collecting?

Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones.

It's a great point on your college application. There are fewer fencers in the application pool than swimmers - guaranteed. Fencers are interesting and some schools, like Harvard and Columbia, are willing to pay money to recruit good ones

I won't be swimming in college - thats another ongoing argument - but I would like to fence throughout college (and longer). And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus

[Inquartata]

Rocks? psh, I collect dinosaur bones.

You stay the hell away from me, I ain't done with 'em yet!

[fencerX]

And anything that would help me get into...Yale or John Hopkins...would be a big bonus

Learning the correct name of the latter institution might be a start.

As for the parents, patiently explain to them that you'd like to fence because you think you'd really enjoy it, but more because it might help you stand out as a more interesting candidate to great university. Which attending could help you get into a great medical or law school. Which could help you get a great job and make a lot of money so you can help them down the road. You'd really be doing it for them.

And the thought of you not fencing and them having to eat dog food in their golden years makes you very sad.

[rdg]

Well it might help if you let you parents know about fencing scholarships. I read not too long ago about the percent of recipients that get fencing scholarships in comparison to other very popular sports, and the percentage was high for fencing because it is such an unusual (?) sport. Plus girls are really good at it, which is good for title 9 here in the US. Plus the really hoite toite schools are the ones where there are fencing scholarships. Maybe that will help. Plus you will seldom go wrong following your passion (except concerning boys, when you will almost always be wrong), so good luck.

Here are a couple of links:

http://www.sport-scholarships.com/en...arshipsusa.htm
http://schoolscholarships.org/fencin...costly-college

I hope you can join us fencing. But if you cannot, we will be here when you can.

Sam

Sam