In Accordance with the Prophecy

[Lady Quindecim]

JoH will be disappointed by his next fortune cookie because upon reading it, it will be nothing but a generic message promoting positive stewardship the likes of which are below the most average person's level of basic decency and will be made even more boring by adding any one of the array of clauses that typically spice up even the (until now) most mundane fortune he had ever seen or heard about and then think of LQ and say unto himself, "Woah," in accordance with the prophecy.

[erik_blank]

LQ shall find a message in her next fortune cookie reading: "Help! I'm being held hostage in a Sweedish Waffle shop! Send Help!" in accordance with the prophecy

[larkascending]

Before LQ next eats Chinese food, erik_blank will find himself a hostage in a Swedish waffle shop, in accordance with the prophecy.

[erik_blank]

And Lo! It shall come to pass that in the hour of the fifth moon in the day of fire and snaussages, when all is thought to be... or perhaps not to be, Larkascending shall indeed discover the question... And the answer shall be Hagendäz... In accordance with the Prophecy...

[Go? Fencing?]

Erik will find himself the proud possessor of two batteries of a size which fits absolutely nothing he owns, in accordance with the prophecy.

[UnidentifiedFencerOnline]

G?F? will find that their previous life, they were a red headed philosopher who was buried alive in accordance with the prophecy.

[JackOfHearts]

UnidentifiedFencerOnline will be embroiled in hundreds of conspiracies world wide upon googling her initials, In Accordance With The Prophecy.

[larkascending]

JackofHearts will get both a job AND a girlfriend, only to lose both in the ensuing sexual harrassment suit, in accordance with the prophecy.

[Go? Fencing?]

Larkascending will reincarnate into... surprise, surprise... a lark, in accordance with the prophecy.

[erik_blank]

G?F? shall find that by placing items into a machine she shall in return receive items of doom... In accordance with the prophecy.

[JackOfHearts]

JoH will be disappointed by his next fortune cookie because upon reading it, it will be nothing but a generic message promoting positive stewardship the likes of which are below the most average person's level of basic decency and will be made even more boring by adding any one of the array of clauses that typically spice up even the (until now) most mundane fortune he had ever seen or heard about and then think of LQ and say unto himself, "Woah," in accordance with the prophecy.

And it came true! My reading of said fortune cookie was immediately followed by a Keanu-esque "woah". *Mind is blown*

G?F? shall find that by placing items into a machine she shall in return receive items of doom... In accordance with the prophecy.

Erik Blank will awaken in the morning to relive his Thanksgiving over and over, much like a certain Bill Murray movie. This will continue until he either learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving, or he gets the larger piece of a wishbone. The latter of which will grant his wish, but in a very monkey's paw like manner. In accordance with the prophecy.

[Wetmelon]

JOH will find himself lost, in accordance with the prophecy

[RkfdFencer]

Wetmelon shall awake three days hence to find a fruitcake outside the front door, in accordance with the prophecy.

[larkascending]

RkfdFencer will go to practice tomorrow at sunup, in accordance with the prophecy.

[erik_blank]

And lo! It shall come to pass that on the fourth full moon following the tied of red, while the sound of the fallen gerbil resounds across the empty plain, LA shall become one with the French Toast, as she enters yet another item into the vending machine of doom... and with receipt of the unexpected item from said devicethe people shall rejoyce! ...in accordance with the prophecy...

[RkfdFencer]

In two days time, erik blank (yes, you, eric!), will combine these three threads into one single post and crash fnet: In Accordance with the Prophecy, Late Night's Vending Machine of Doom, and the Thread of Atrocious Advice.

Time to panic! He's already 2/3 of the way there! (in accordance with the prophecy)

[erik_blank]

RKFD shall discover that his ability to prophecise has been corrupted, creating a temporal shift of 1-3 years... in accordance with the prophecy...

[Wetmelon]

Erik_Blank will find himself enclosed in a small space with a locked door, only to find he is trying to open it the wrong way, in accordance with the prophecy.

[RkfdFencer]

In 2012 Wetmelon will discover that London, ON is not the location of the Olympic games. Wetmelon will then change to a new screen name - Sadmelon, in accordance with the prophecy.

[Go? Fencing?]

Rkfd will wake up one day to a warm, sunny day, and realise that his snowman self has melted to the ground, leaving naught but a hat, a carrot, some coal, and a rusted foil, in accordance with the prophecy.