cruel people.

[Empty Wallet]

Originally Posted by Musicfencer

I enjoy swing dancing

Originally Posted by Fencergrl

OMG! So do I...

Originally Posted by Musicfencer

I have to say me and my boyfriend are a pretty damn awesome swingdancing team...
SWING DANCE OFF!

Beware of swing dancing all you female fencers. It turns you into passive followers, not attackers.

Imagine what FG cougar was like before she learned to follow a strong leader man.

[Lady Quindecim]

Back to topic...
Once, I read this post where someone shared an emotionally stressful event in her life and rather than people sharing their own stories of ways people may act or seem cruel at times, they only chided the OP.

Oh, not everyone was cruel. Some just insensitive. And most are really nice by nature.
Some people did share their own stories rather than dwell on whether or not the OP should or should not have been upset by her experience.

[Lady Quindecim]

I do work for my teachers some times so I spend a lot of time in the teachers lounge. I was listening to these two going on about various financial burdens. One was talking about struggling to support her adult children on a teacher's salary (She was a widow). Another teacher curtly scolded, "You should have though about that *before* you had children!" and stormed off.
The other teacher, after she recovered from the shock, remembered I was there and saw me frozen with my jaw dropped. It really impacted me - left a very strong mark. I could never look at that teacher in the face.

[the maple epee]

Does the OP become so emotionally distraught every time she sees a dead skunk that was unlucky enough to wander into the path of a truck? Or perhaps a woodchuck that met an untimely end in the tread of a Buick?

Death generally sucks, and it's never pretty. But it happens, and nobody can do anything about it. If a cat tangles with a car, it's most always too far gone to even think about saving. The best thing to do then would be to kill it. Use a tire iron, or a rock, or whatever. If you're driving, back up and run it over again. If you were really there for an hour as you said, you certainly could have found something to kill it with. The thing you shouldn't do is sit next to it for an hour and do nothing as it dies a slow and painful death.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is a little annoyed that your course of action was to come here and ***** at us about it.

[Lady Quindecim]

Originally Posted by the maple epee

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is a little annoyed that your course of action was to come here and ***** at us about it.

It is not the first mistake I have made and I have the utmost confidence that it will not be the last. I am not taking it back. I really meant it when I said that most are really nice by nature.

[Musicfencer]

Originally Posted by Empty Wallet

Beware of swing dancing all you female fencers. It turns you into passive followers, not attackers.

Imagine what FG cougar was like before she learned to follow a strong leader man.

hahahahaha thats why im the one that leads


i kinda dominate :\

[Musicfencer]

waz the OP?

[bxtr]

Well, it's not like this is the first dead cat thread on the forum. A few months back there was a lot of anguished weeping and wailing and yodeling when some cops quite rightfully shot a (rather large) cat that was running around gnawing on zoo patrons.

I was a bit amazed at all the hysteria. Did these people expect the cops to call in a negotiator?

And it's not like dead cats are the most trivial things that people bring to a forum. There's currently a flame war raging elsewhere on the board about a Batman movie , and whether or not the Joker is a subtle character.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by the maple epee

Does the OP become so emotionally distraught every time she sees a dead skunk that was unlucky enough to wander into the path of a truck? Or perhaps a woodchuck that met an untimely end in the tread of a Buick? snipped for length..

Maple, I get where you're coming from. I also understand where the OP is coming from. I think if nothing else, this thread demonstrates the difference in genders. If you examine who responded and how.

Historically, men have to deal with death. They hunt, go to war, provide animal husbandry etc... For men to be effective, at these tasks they need to not allow themselves to get overly upset by them. Their biology supports this, with testosterone. Young men are at their peak testosterone levels in their late teens early 20's.

Historically, women deal with life & nurturing. Giving birth, caring for young, nursing wounded or sick animals/ people. For women to be effective at these tasks, it requires us to empathize and care. The hormones in a woman are a powerful influence in how she reacts and sees the world. This gives her a tremendous need to nurture, especially the young and injured. These hormones are stronger for some than others.

Maple, I am certain as one of the few farm raised here, you've seen it in other species besides your own. There's some hens who are more broody, some males more dominate etc...

The OP couldn't help but respond the way she did, and to be upset by it any more than the guys could help being annoyed at her "silliness" and lack of logic. So continuing to push logic on her will work no more than trying to get you and the rest of the guys to be reduced to tears over a cat dying somewhere in North America by the side of the road.

So let's move on... the characteristics she demonstrated (as silly as they may seem to you) will be something many men would value when they want to have a family. She's just young...

[Musicfencer]

Whats The Op?!

[Fencergrl]

Short for "Original Poster".

[Musicfencer]

got it
thanks

[BAKER/the/swd/grl]

The "OP" has gotten over the incident at hand but is very enraged at the circumstances around it. And the word silliness is a relative term.

[BAKER/the/swd/grl]

Originally Posted by the maple epee

Does the OP become so emotionally distraught every time she sees a dead skunk that was unlucky enough to wander into the path of a truck? Or perhaps a woodchuck that met an untimely end in the tread of a Buick?

Death generally sucks, and it's never pretty. But it happens, and nobody can do anything about it. If a cat tangles with a car, it's most always too far gone to even think about saving. The best thing to do then would be to kill it. Use a tire iron, or a rock, or whatever. If you're driving, back up and run it over again. If you were really there for an hour as you said, you certainly could have found something to kill it with. The thing you shouldn't do is sit next to it for an hour and do nothing as it dies a slow and painful death.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is a little annoyed that your course of action was to come here and ***** at us about it.

1.Since you were definitly not there you would not know if the cat was too far gone to save.
2 .I didn't sit next to it and do nothing actually. Which again you would not know since you weren't present. I carried it out of the street and immediately called animal control, since there were no animal shelters in the area were open at 10 o'clock at night.
3.I am sure you would play God and decide to kill an animal w/ your bare hands, but i certainly would not.
4.No one forced you to respond to this post, therefore you did not HAVE to read or respond to it in any way.And I know I for one am not the one "b****ing", as you say.
.

[BAKER/the/swd/grl]

Originally Posted by BAKER/the/swd/grl

It wasn't trivial at the time. And it is officially over.

hmmmmm. Yeah I said that didn't I. I remember it, do you?

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by BAKER/the/swd/grl

The "OP" has gotten over the incident at hand but is very enraged at the circumstances around it. And the word silliness is a relative term.

M'dear... same advice for the girls as for the boys. When you're in your teens- 20's the genders are a point where they are the least sympathetic to each other. Each gender believes they are right. One of the things I learned as I got older was that boy's/ men's brains are not the same as women's/ girl's.

When I was young, I expected that the relationship that I had with the man I married, would be similar to my relationships with my best friends. This makes sense, you feel such a powerful connection to your friends, surely it would be the same with a husband whom you love??? Isn't love even more powerful and stronger than friendship???

Naturally, I expected my husband would "get" me and we would always be on the same page. Often, men are not even reading the same book much less than being on the same page. Look at how vastly different the guys reacted here than the women did... be objective. Don't get caught up in the hurt this from your perspective. Is it crazy? Completely foreign? Makes no sense at all??? Believe it or not they feel that way about your post. You are as nutty to them as they are to you.

Men think and react different enough they could almost be a different species entirely.

Here's the real shocker... they're right. Hold on... I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying you both are. You are both reacting appropriate to your gender.

My best advice is to accept them for what they are. Don't expect them to react or be the same as you and your girl friends. They will disappoint you if you expect that.

It won't always be that way, as both men and women get older, we get better at understanding each other and adjusting our expectations. For now (and a few more years) it's going to be weird. So get used to it. Embrace it. Enjoy their weirdness.

If you are looking for female support (and who doesn't from time to time) creating a thread in a forum where most of the posters are guys is not your best bet. The best option (on this site) is a blog entry. When Craig gets the website sorted out, you'll be able to create a "blog buddy list" that would allow only the people on that list to read and respond to your entries. You can also remove comments that annoy you... yes that can be satisfying at times.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by BAKER/the/swd/grl

4.No one forced you to respond to this post, therefore you did not HAVE to read or respond to it in any way.And I know I for one am not the one "b****ing", as you say.
.

You might find this hard to believe, but they are trying to help by offering you the best advice they can. If they were talking to another guy, it would be accepted as such.

Let it go. Most of the women here "get it", you don't have to convince the guys to have your experience validated. We understand what happened and why you were upset. We also understand why you are now upset with them.

[BAKER/the/swd/grl]

Well stated and thoroughly acknowledged. Thanx for the wisdom.

[Pescados666]

My book has pictures and large faced words.