Abstinence??

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Originally Posted by notalent

Well that post certainly fits your sig line

Hey, that was entirely advice and not at ALL sharing.

Or, at least, you have no evidence that it's sharing.

[illogick]

Originally Posted by Mr Epee

I don't know. I give up.

what does growing a beard have to do with sex?

It may have quite a bit to do with how one defines the term child... which I think is where you went off track. If you don't agree that 16 year olds are children, then feel free to skip over that part.

My simple point was that an adult coach shouldn't be encouraging 16 year olds to have sex in order to improve performance. I don't care if it's a joke. I don't care if it's a 16 year old standing in a group of athletes some of whom are 18. Effective coaching isn't about being one of the guys/gals. It's about boundaries and clear leadership.

It's not professional. It's not appropriate.

It is creepy.

I also don't expect illogik to understand how creepy it is until he/she's much older an thinks back on how inappropriate it was... even in jest.

You are allowed to directly address me, you know.

As for my coach, he's no older than 26, so he's not too far off. And I hope you realize that he isn't "encouraging" us to have sexual intercourse to improve performance before a game, his exact words were: "You know that sh*t they say about not having sex before a match? F**k that. Do it if you want, all it can do is relax you."

Please don't assume things about situations you in actuality have no idea about. I don't care if you're older and "wiser". It was insulting towards my coach to call him an unprofessional, he's one of the most professional people I know, regardless of what his language may insinuate.

...No disrespect, of course. Wouldn't want to upset my elders.

[Phaeton]

Originally Posted by illogick

You are allowed to directly address me, you know.

As for my coach, he's no older than 26, so he's not too far off. And I hope you realize that he isn't "encouraging" us to have sexual intercourse to improve performance before a game, his exact words were: "You know that sh*t they say about not having sex before a match? F**k that. Do it if you want, all it can do is relax you."

Please don't assume things about situations you in actuality have no idea about. I don't care if you're older and "wiser". It was insulting towards my coach to call him an unprofessional, he's one of the most professional people I know, regardless of what his language may insinuate.

...No disrespect, of course. Wouldn't want to upset my elders.

No disrespect, only demeaning cutting italics. I find that's a much more civil way to have discourse over the internet.

I've been told thing along similar lines by several people: "The night before you fence do anything that'll relax you, whether it's chilling in a hot tub, or doing something a bit more private and personal that's up to you, just make sure you get a good night's sleep and proper nutrition for the next day. Nothing except perhaps over physical exertion training is going to hurt you much."

I don't mean to insult your coach either. I think even that way of phrasing isn't exactly appropriate. A coach is supposed to have certain roles and certain limits. I wouldn't condone saying what he said under most circumstances. It really depends on the context, if he was asked I'd understand, but randomly bringing that up is ,to me at least, a bit odd. Even if it was brought up to me, I'd probably look for a more tactful way to word it.

Most coaches, in any sport, curse. That in mind, that's probably not how I'd calmly talk to my athletes. Either way, today in the United States one has to be very careful what the say about minors. Having one moment of brilliance doesn't make one professional and doing one unprofessional thing doesn't make one unprofessional either. Depending on the context that may have been stupid.

Congratulations. Your coach is human. He makes mistakes. Lets not judge him on one event or one person's criticism of that event.

[Blakeian]

Christ you lot are bad at this internet thing sometimes.

The obvious answer to the original question is: if it helps you achieve a better mind set the next day sure go for it. If it impedes your ability to concentrate at the competition don't do it the night before.

[Phaeton]

Originally Posted by Blakeian

Christ you lot are bad at this internet thing sometimes.

The obvious answer to the original question is: if it helps you achieve a better mind set the next day sure go for it. If it impedes your ability to concentrate at the competition don't do it the night before.

We also like putting in commas after our interjections.

[Phaeton]

That...and we're just bored.

[mrbiggs]

Originally Posted by Blakeian

Christ you lot are bad at this internet thing sometimes.

The obvious answer to the original question is: if it helps you achieve a better mind set the next day sure go for it. If it impedes your ability to concentrate at the competition don't do it the night before.

I disagree. The obvious answer to the original question is that it's silly to read that much into your performance in fencing. Honestly the best thing to do the night before the tournament is practice fencing/watch fencing/think about fencing/organize your equipment/anything else you do the night before a tournament.

[PeterGustafsson]

Hi!


A Swedish top-level female soccer player, Elin Flyborg, was asked the question some years ago, and she responded:

"Jag tycker inte om det - man blir så såsig av det."

She was one of the few openly heterosexual females in her team at that time, and furthermore together with a guy playing on a national-level soccer team. They were asked the same question as an item, I do not know of his answer.

Let us say that that she inadvertently made a funny mental image by not checking that whether two figures of speech clashed.

A translation does not do it justice - it is so funny so that I recommend you to get a working knowledge of the language just in order to savor this one funny saying!


Have a nice time!

Peter Gustafsson

[Durando]

Hå, hå, hå.

[foillion]

Originally Posted by PeterGustafsson

Hi!


A Swedish top-level female soccer player, Elin Flyborg, was asked the question some years ago, and she responded:

"Jag tycker inte om det - man blir så såsig av det."

She was one of the few openly heterosexual females in her team at that time, and furthermore together with a guy playing on a national-level soccer team. They were asked the same question as an item, I do not know of his answer.

Let us say that that she inadvertently made a funny mental image by not checking that whether two figures of speech clashed.

A translation does not do it justice - it is so funny so that I recommend you to get a working knowledge of the language just in order to savor this one funny saying!


Have a nice time!

Peter Gustafsson

K so the only translation I got was something about herself and something about her husband. Please elaborate.

-P

[pokey]

Originally Posted by PeterGustafsson

"Jag tycker inte om det - man blir så såsig av det."

A translation does not do it justice <snip>

Really, please do try.

[Mr Epee]

Originally Posted by illogick

You are allowed to directly address me, you know.

As for my coach, he's no older than 26, so he's not too far off. And I hope you realize that he isn't "encouraging" us to have sexual intercourse to improve performance before a game, his exact words were: "You know that sh*t they say about not having sex before a match? F**k that. Do it if you want, all it can do is relax you."

Please don't assume things about situations you in actuality have no idea about. I don't care if you're older and "wiser". It was insulting towards my coach to call him an unprofessional, he's one of the most professional people I know, regardless of what his language may insinuate.

...No disrespect, of course. Wouldn't want to upset my elders.

Illogik - this ones for you, bud. So perk up those big burning ears of yours. :-)

Apparently, there is some disconnect between what you say and what you say.

You wrote that your adult soccer coach was encouraging 16 year old boys to have sex before games to improve performance. That's how you described the situation. That's not anyone else reading into the situation. That's just another shining example of my excellent ability to read. The additional details you've provided don't help matters.

Look, the guy may be a great coach, but even a 26 year old should have enough good sense to place distance between himself and the sexual exploits of teenagers. The difference in maturity, ability, and responsibility for a 26 year old and a 16 year old is MASSIVE; not just big it's MASSIVE. It's probably an inappropriate conversation on those grounds alone, however, put coach/role model/authority figure into the mix and then you've got ethical considerations.

Coaches have tremendous influence on athletes, particularly young athletes, and it is important to have oversight to ensure that behavior is proper. People have a WIDE WIDE variety of motivations to be involved as coaches. Not all of those motivations are pure. The goal is to make sure that athletes have a safe environment in which to train and compete. Ok?

So, have fun at soccer practice... just be aware that this coach crossed a pretty clear line in appropriate behavior. Maybe a one time mistake.... maybe a pattern of behavior. I can't imagine that all the parents of those kids would be comfortable with the conversation.

[HDG]

Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken!

I would imagine that particularly lethargic athletes should refrain from choking it for a few days before a competition

You do realize that sex can involve more than one person, right?

[piste off]

Originally Posted by HDG

You do realize that sex can involve more than one person, right?

The way things are going, I see this thread eventually being merged with "Choosing position in TEAM format."

Rick

[illogick]

Originally Posted by Mr Epee

Illogik - this ones for you, bud. So perk up those big burning ears of yours. :-)

Apparently, there is some disconnect between what you say and what you say.

You wrote that your adult soccer coach was encouraging 16 year old boys to have sex before games to improve performance. That's how you described the situation. That's not anyone else reading into the situation. That's just another shining example of my excellent ability to read. The additional details you've provided don't help matters.

Look, the guy may be a great coach, but even a 26 year old should have enough good sense to place distance between himself and the sexual exploits of teenagers. The difference in maturity, ability, and responsibility for a 26 year old and a 16 year old is MASSIVE; not just big it's MASSIVE. It's probably an inappropriate conversation on those grounds alone, however, put coach/role model/authority figure into the mix and then you've got ethical considerations.

Coaches have tremendous influence on athletes, particularly young athletes, and it is important to have oversight to ensure that behavior is proper. People have a WIDE WIDE variety of motivations to be involved as coaches. Not all of those motivations are pure. The goal is to make sure that athletes have a safe environment in which to train and compete. Ok?

So, have fun at soccer practice... just be aware that this coach crossed a pretty clear line in appropriate behavior. Maybe a one time mistake.... maybe a pattern of behavior. I can't imagine that all the parents of those kids would be comfortable with the conversation.

If you're trying to embarass me or something via the internet, it's not working. I honestly think you're overreacting. When I posted first I admit I used the word "encouraged", which I'm now realizing may not have been the best choice in words. What I meant to say (and what I hope you understand) is that it's less of him encouraging us to actually do it, but more of him reassuring us of no negative performance effects. To put what he said in context, he was rattling off things we could do to relax us before the next game (we were in the finals at a friendly tournament).

18 and 26 is not a "massive" gap. My parents have a larger age gap. I have close friends that have graduated college. I repeat, you are overreacting. You really don't think that I'm only going to be friends with people one or two years within my age, do you?

Which brings me to my next point, whether or not my coach was appropriate in his sayings. To you? Obviously not. To other outsiders? Maybe, but probably not. Do you want to know why? He regards us as equals. We treat eachother with respect, and he's a friend to us first before he's a coach. THAT is why he's probably one of the best coaches I've ever had, and if you think that makes him unprofessional, then I really hope you're not a coach. (EDIT) OH and I also realize that's what you described as what a coach SHOULDN'T do... To each his own, I guess.

...No disrespect. For real this time, though. I'm not trying to pick a fight, just trying to defend my coach.

[epeemike81]

Originally Posted by illogick

18 and 26 is not a "massive" gap. My parents have a larger age gap.

Do you also think that 10 and 18 is not a "massive" gap? It's not about the raw gap, it's about the development gap. 18 and 26 is a MUCH greater developmental gap than, say, 26 and 34.

Speaking as a 26 year old coach of high school athletes, I agree with Mr. Epee. That conversation is inappropriate and simply better avoided.

-m

[SJCFU#2]

Originally Posted by illogick

I honestly think you're overreacting.

It may seem that way to you, but accusations of "inappropriate behavior" have costs coaches their jobs and ruined careers. And when minors have been involved it has sometimes led to criminal prosecution.