The Rock Collector

[Moonitic]

As the others exited the cave, Lady Moon cast an angry look to Meekal, then followed the rest out. He sank to the rocky floor in utter sadness. Kliff knelt beside him. "What's the matter, Meekal?"

"Now the princess will never fall in love with me. I blew it," the daft prince answered. He reached into his sack and pulled out one of his beloved rocks. "Oh Daphne, what shall I do?"

Kliff tilted his head, regarding the rock named Daphne a little closer. "Meekal, may I see that for a moment?" He pointed at the rock.

"Sure. Daphne, meet Kliff." Meekal handed the rock over to his friend.

Kliff inspected the rock that Meekal had given him. "Hmm...Meekal, where did you get this?"

Meekal sighed. "Daphne was next to me while I was tied up. I thought she was pretty. I liked her pretty yellow color, so I asked if I could keep her."

"Meekal, do you know what 'Daphne' is made of?"

He thought for a moment, perplexed. It was a long moment. "No."

Kliff jumped to his feet and exclaimed, "Daphne is GOLD, Meekal. You're rich! There really WAS a treasure here!"

"I am?" The realization hadn't hit Meekal yet, but when it did, it felt like a ton of Daphnes on his head. "I am! I don't have to live in a box anymore! Or in an alley. I can have anything I want!" The more he thought about it, the more he realized just what he wanted...and he had a lot of planning to do. "Kliff, I'll need your help."

[Lord Tellurine]

"I'll do anything I can, old friend" said Kliff. "It's probably best if I get out of Muu for a while anyway. If word got back to the King of Muu I was involved in any of this, the rest of the Fauldergraft lands could be seized by the crown."

Meekal was still examining Daphne with awe. "Wow, gold. You know what this means, Kliff?"

"Its obvious. You can live like a prince again."

"No," disagreed Meekal. "It means that if you originally mapped Mount Spire, you did a really half-assed job."

"Thanks Meekal. You're a real pal."

[ 08-13-2001: Message edited by: Lord Tellurine ]

[Moonitic]

Meekal, with Kliff's help, had much to do once they returned to the castle. Especially with the ball not far away. For on that night, Meekal's plan would become reality.

His first stop was the throne room. "King Arcon..." he stammered.

"Yes, Meekal?"

Meekal bowed his head. "I have a favor to ask." He shuffled his foot as he gripped his shabby vest.

"Anything for you, Meekal. Just name it."

"Anything?" Meekal's head shot up. When the king nodded with a smile, Meekal added, "Just name it?" The king nodded again. This time, with a little less than a smile. Meekal grinned. He took a deep breath, then said two words. "Lady Moon."

King Arcon almost fell off his throne. "WHAT?" He stood, eyes wide. "Meekal, even as king, I cannot give you a person! It's unethical. It's immoral. It's SICK!"

"No!" Meekal waved his hands. "I want you to insist that she go to the ball with me. She'll listen to you. You're a king."

Arcon lowered himself back into his seat, then chuckled. With a knowing gaze, he looked at Meekal. "Come now, Meekal. Since when has the Lady Moon listened to a king?" Meekal frowned, discouraged at the thought. She did not listen to her father, a king, when he told her to marry his brother Angelo. And she did not listen to his father, also a king, when he wanted her to marry Meekal. King Arcon had a point. But the king felt sorry for Meekal, and said, "Very well. I shall try."

"Oh! Thank you Your Highness! Thank you!" Meekal gushed, then ran from the room.

His plan had been set in motion.

[Lord Tellurine]

Meekal the Daft joined his friend Kliff Fauldergraft at the Bitter End. Kliff was sitting at the bar next to Wooden Bob and was interrupted by Meekal just as he was asking, "Just how do you end up with a wooden leg by just falling off a horse?"

"Kliff!" said Meekal as he pulled him off his stool. "I did it!"

"Did what?" asked Kliff and his brushed spilled Fresca from his shirt.

"I asked King Arcon to order, well, ask really, Lady Moon to go with me to the ball."

"And he said?..." Meekal just stared at him waiting for him to finish. Kliff sighed and asked, "What did he say?"

Meekal answered excitedly, "He said he would. I’ve never been so nervous. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do since... Well, since I had to sell Daphne." Daphne was the hunk of gold he befriended while being held captive in Mount Spire. "And that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do since running away from home. And that was the hardest thing I’ve done since trying to learning long division. And that was the hardest thing that I’ve done since-"

"Okay, Meekal," interrupted Kliff. "The bottom line is: Your plan worked."

"That wasn’t the whole plan," said Meekal with a twinkle in his eye. "That was just the first part." A smile spread across his lips.

Kliff took a big slug of Fresca.

[Swordsman]

Oh, I love this! Nothing better than having a character who's not actually a posting person...Meekal's hilarious! I need to catch up on "Garden of Rock and Vomit"...

[Lord Tellurine]

Meekal the Daft was ready for the next part of his master plan. "C’mon guys," he said to Kliff and Wooden Bob. He led them out of the Bitter End. The streets of the City of Arconia were abuzz that night. A dozen royal guards on their way towards the forests north of the city rushed past the trio. A woman on a horse nearly ran them over. Meekal even saw the floating torso of the not-so-great wizard Oddeldoodle, but he paid it no mind.

Kliff Fauldergraft, on the other hand, was concerned. He thought for a moment that Muu might be attacking and he might end up a prisoner of the King of Muu. He was awful to work for, so Kliff didn’t want to imagine what he was like to be a prisoner of.

Wooden Bob was too drunk to realize he had even left the Bitter End. He tried to order a drink from a lamppost.

Meekal was determined and focused on the task at hand. Wooden Bob and Kliff followed Meekal onto the castle grounds. He scanned the outer walls of the castle before finding the window he had been searching for. He turned to his companions. "That is the window of the Lady Moon. By now King Arcon has asked her to go to the ball with me. I shall seal the deal by serenading her. If she comes to the widow and throws things at us…" Wooden Bob ducked instinctively. "…then I know she has not accepted. If she does not come to the window to hurl things at us…" Wooden Bob ducked again. "…Then I know she will attend the ball with me." He examined Kliff. "Do you have a musical instrument?"

Kliff thought, a musical instrument? What would an unemployed geologist be doing with a musical instrument? No, I’m not happy to see you, there’s a French horn in my pants. "No," he answered Meekal.

Meekal immediately got flustered. "Well, whistle then." He turned to the inebriated Wooden Bob. "Do you have a musical instrument?"

"I can hit my leg with a stick," he offered.

Meekal smiled and nodded. "Good. Do that."

"Okay." WHACK! "Ouch!"

"Hit your wooden one," offered Kliff.

"Good idea," slurred Wooden Bob.

"Okay," said Meekal. "Here we go. A one and a two and a…"

That evening the empty room of Lady Moon of the Quill was serenaded.

[arcon]

Zelda, arcon called from his bed.
Had he dreamed Meekel had had an audience with him? He could barely speak let alone move. As Zelda finally came in the room she could see his eyes half open. In his cloudy thought he knew only one thing.......He had to keep his word......hopefully Moon would understand....and as Zelda leaned toward his pale lips Arcon whispered to her.....
"Moon must attend the Ball with Meekel, I order it". And again he was unconcious.

[Lord Tellurine]

The sun was finally rising over the Kingdom of Arconia. The night’s excitement was now a mere memory. King Arcon was resting comfortably in his chambers, recovering from the attack he had suffered at the royal campsite just north of town. With the break of dawn came an uneasy calm in the castle. A midget minion of Arcon’s evil brother Zarcon was locked up in the dungeon, although the castle’s excellent ventilation system seemed to allow the crazed would-be assassin’s rants to permeate the castle’s halls and disturb everyone’s peace of mind.

Lady Moon had arrived at her room, dropped her claymore unceremoniously onto the floor, and flung open the window to let in some cool morning air only to discover Meekal the Daft, a prince of Muu, Kliff Fauldergraft, a unemployed geologist, and Wooden Bob, a regular at the Bitter End Pub, all asleep on the castle grounds just below her window. "Now what could they be doing there?" she asked aloud to nobody.

Before nobody could answer her there was a knock on the door. Lady Moon, who was no longer in the foul mood she was in before when she would scream at whoever knocked at her door to go away, instead called out, “Come in!”

In walked Queen Zelda. Even though she had been up all night (along with most everyone else) and had been tending to King Arcon, she still held herself with a regal poise that commanded dignity. She majestically and deliberately stepped across the floor towards Lady Moon. And then tripped on the claymore.

Lady Moon grimaced. "Sorry," she apologized.

"Quite all right," said Queen Zelda, regaining her royal poise. "I have come with an order from King Arcon."

"Okay," said Lady Moon, cautiously.

"As you know the Royal Ball is to be held tonight. Although, in his weakened state I doubt Arcon can dance, but he still wants it to continue and he still wants to be there." Queen Zelda paused. "That brings us to his order…" She fidgeted uncomfortably, which seemed odd to Moon as Queen Zelda rarely did. "Arcon has ordered you to attend the ball with the Prince of Muu, Meekal the Daft." Zelda seemed to brace herself, as if an explosion was about to occur.

It did.

"WHAT?!?" screamed Moon. "King Arcon ORDERED me to go with MEEKAL?!? He ORDERED me to go to the ball with that stupid rock-loving moron?!?"

Queen Zelda tried to smile warmly, but it came off as smiling uneasily. "Now he did make this command as he was coming in and out of consciousness…"

Moon replied back strongly, "He’s going to be permanently unconscious if he thinks I’m going to ball with Meekal!"

Queen Zelda gave Moon a stern look. "Now look here, Lady Moon!" she said pointedly. "If King Arcon gave you an order to go to a ball with a prince from another country then I expect that you should do it! He is a guest in Arconia and you are the closet friend he may have right now." Her toned softened and she continued, "Besides, Meekal is very sweet. As a matter of fact he was outside your window last night serenading you."

Lady Moon rolled her eyes. She thought a moment. Finally, she relented and said, "I’m not going to kiss him."

"Nobody’s asking you to," stated Queen Zelda. "Although… a couple of slow dances would be nice…"

"No. I’ll arrive with him, I’ll let him stand near me, I’ll even let him get me punch, but that’s it."

"For goodness sakes, Moon, I’m not asking you to leave him a glass slipper and live happily ever after with him! I just want you to make sure he enjoys himself."

"Fine," replied Moon.

"Good," said Zelda.

There was a moment of silence. Wooden Bob could be heard snoring from outside of Moon’s window.

Queen Zelda turned and opened the door. She looked back at Moon and smiled. "See you later," she said and closed the door behind her.

"You sure will," Moon said softly to herself. "I’ll be one wishing she was dead."

[Swordsman]

You gotta love Wooden Bob!!

[Lord Tellurine]

The morning sun rose over the castle walls and peeked through the branches of the neatly trimmed trees of the castle grounds and shined directly into the eyes of a sleeping Prince of Muu, an unemployed geologist, and a one-legged barfly.

The Prince of Muu, Meekal the Daft, blinked furiously at the morning sun. He yawned and sat upright. He took a moment to examine his surroundings and he said, "Wake up, Kliff." He shook the sleeping body next to him.

The unemployed geologist, Kliff Fauldergraft, made a snort noise and rolled over to look at Meekal. "What?" he asked in a gravelly voice.

"It’s morning," said Meekal.

"Yeah, so?"

"It’s the morning of the royal ball!" Meekal replied excitedly.

"I repeat: Yeah, so?"

Meekal stood and brushed his clothes off with his hands. "We have work to do!"

"We do?" asked Kliff sitting upright.

"Yes! For tonight I am to woo the beautiful Lady Moon."

Kliff stood. "Oh. Right." He glanced down at Wooden Bob, who was still asleep. He nudged him slightly with his foot. Nothing happened. He looked at Meekal. "So what do we need to do?"

"Lots!" Meekal started making his way across the perfectly manicured lawn. "Come on!" he called.

"Okay." Kliff Fauldergraft followed Meekal across the royal grounds.

Wooden Bob snuggled up against a tree and dreamt it was a barstool.

[Lord Tellurine]

Meekal the Daft and Kliff Fauldergraft went back to Meekal’s newly acquired Arconian house and cleaned up. They had a simple breakfast of some bread with strawberry preserves and then left, making their way into the bustling shopping district of Arconia City. They stopped in the middle of the street and Kliff looked at Meekal for some direction.

He waited a long while.

Finally, Kliff asked, "Meekal, what are we doing?"

He said simply, "I don’t know."

"I thought you had some master plan."

"I do."

"Perhaps it’s time you told me the master plan."

"Okay." He looked Kliff in the eye. "Tonight… When I take Lady Moon to the ball… I want to impress her."

Kliff waited a moment as if there was more. He waited a long while.

Meekal finally said, "The problem is I don’t know what would impress her. What impresses a woman?"

Kliff smiled and let out a little laugh. "Don’t ask me. My only love has been my work." Suddenly, he was overcome with a deep sadness. He added, "I don’t even have that anymore."

Meekal was oblivious to Kliff. He began to scan the streets. "We need to find someone who- Hello!" He was looking in the direction of Lady Rosaline who was just coming out of a shop. "I bet women know what impresses women!" He started towards her. "C’mon, Kliff!"

Kliff pulled himself out of his ever-increasing depression to join him.

Lady Rosaline was shopping for the royal ball. Even though she had been up most of the night with the trouble at the royal campsite, she was eagerly shopping and was brightly greeting everyone in the street. She saw Meekal the Daft approaching her.

"Hello, fair lady," Meekal greeted charmingly as he bowed slightly. Years of royal etiquette training had paid off.

"Good morning," she replied with a smile. "I am Lady Rosaline." Before Meekal could reciprocate she said, "And you are the Prince of Muu…" Meekal smiled. "…Meekal the Daft." Meekal blushed and Lady Rosaline immediately realized her mistake. "I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… It’s just that that’s what I’ve heard you been called… By everyone… heh heh…" She gave a weak apologetic smile.

"That’s all right," said Meekal. "That’s my name. Meekal the Daft. The daft prince of Muu."

Kliff had joined them and said, "We once called him Meekal the Forgetful, but he kept forgetting it."

Lady Rosaline turned her attention to Kliff. "And you are?"

"Kliff Fauldergraft of the Muu Fauldergrafts. I was once royal geologist to the King of Muu."

"It’s nice to meet you," she said warmly. She studied him for a moment. "Are you the one who brought from Muu that very impressive hunk of gold?"

"It was Meekal’s, really," he said with modesty. "I merely appraised it for him."

Her smile grew larger and she said softly, "It’s VERY nice to meet you." Her eyes met his and he blushed. She turned back to Meekal. "What can I do for you this morning, Prince Meekal?"

He answered with an air of seriousness, "I need to know what impresses a woman."

She glanced back at Kliff. "Well, a big rock always helps…"

Meekal smiled broadly. "That’s great! I got a whole sack of those!"

[Lord Tellurine]

Meekal stood outside of Lady Moon's door. He was nervous. About as nervous as a young man could be. Probably as nervous as the first night he met Lady Moon and told her he didn't want to marry her. Now things had all changed. She had helped Meekal to escape the castle of his cruel father, the King of Muu, and she had even gone on a quest with him. Now he couldn't imagine living a life without her. And this was the big moment. All of the preparations had come down to this.

He reminded himself to thank Lady Rosaline at the ball for her help in town. At first she was too interested in Kliff and his big gold find at Mount Spire, but as soon as Lady Rosaline realized how desperate Meekal was and what it was he wanted she set herself to the task and began to scan the shopping district. “This will be easy,” she stated and she grabbed Kliff by the arm and led him down the street. Meekal watched the lady take his old Muu friend Kliff and then started off behind them.

Lady Rosaline began pointing (With the arm that wasn’t attached to Kliff’s) at shops as she passed them. “You’ll want to get her flowers,” she said passing a florist. “And chocolates.” They passed a candy shop. “Oh! And a cute little figurine!” They breezed past a collectibles shop.

Meekal began to mentally list all of the things he needed to win the hand of Lady Moon. If only he had had a piece of paper.

But he didn't. And while Lady Rosaline was asking Kliff if he'd be at the ball later in the evening, Meekal began buying... and buying... and buying...

Now he stood in the hallway at Lady Moon's door, a pile of gifts in front of him. He reached around the stack and knock gently on the door.

There was a very loud audible sigh from the other side of the door and suddenly it opened.

Lady Moon of the Quill looked magnificient. She looked stunning. She looked up in horror at the huge heap of offerings. The pile of gifts toppled over and fell onto Lady Moon.

[Moonitic]

Lady Moon of the Quill, Princess Buffy of Schoolcraftia, answered the door in an ice blue sheath of the smoothest silk. Crystal teardrops hung from her ears. A necklace of the same from her throat, with a single sapphire that matched the sparkle of her deep blue eyes. Golden curls were piled on top of her head, hanging down her back and trailing down her bare shoulders. Willow did a marvelous job of making the most out of what little hair Lady Moon had. "Too bad," Moon had said during the process, "it would be wasted on Meekal."

From her days in the sun, her tanned skin shone through the slashed, off-the-shoulder sleeves. For an instant, she felt like royalty once more. Not a scribe who had the unfortunate luck of being pursued by a daft rock collector.

That moment ended too soon. The pile of...things that Meekal balanced in his arms came crashing down onto her. "Meekal!" she yelled from the floor.

"Oh, forgive me!" Meekal exclaimed. He rushed into the room and uncovered her. Then he offered his hand to help her stand.

She pushed it away, and fought to right herself. As she smoothed her dress, she noted that a strange clear stain snaked its way across the front of her bodice. When she took the time to notice, she realized that a horrible smell permeated the air. "What is that?"

"It's...the perfume I bought you. The bottle must have broken," her escort admitted. He dared to look into her angry eyes, then quickly turned away. Scanning the floor, he found what he needed. Facing Lady Moon again, he asked, "Would you like a chocolate? I dusted it off."

It would be a long, long night.