Dear Fencergrl

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by samster

Dear Fencergrl:

I have a good friend (not me) who really really really is into porn. What should I do?

-Insatiable

Dear Insatiable,

You've come to the right place.

So what is your problem?

[kilo_foxtrot]

Dear Fencergrl,

I'm making a return to fencing following a six month hiatus... and a controlled return to f-net after an even longer absence. What would you recommend I do to help make the transition easier?

Yours truly,

KF

[jBirch]

Dear FencerGrl,

I got into a discussion of substance with Inq. Again.

How can I keep from hurling the computer through the window with rage and frustration?

[Warrior Princess]

Dear Fencergrl,
I'm having boy trouble. Or lack of boy trouble. Honestly, I have no idea. There's this guy at school that asked me to the winter formal, but didn't end up being able to go, and I haven't really had a chance to talk to him since. I'm not completly sure how I feel about him (we are good friends though). There's also a guy at my club that I like, but I don't know if he's seeing anyone. We some common interests, but don't know eachother that well. And I'm just having boy trouble in general. Advice?
Frusturated and Confused

[Go? Fencing?]

Dear Fencegrl,

A friend of mine is making a return to fencing following a six month hiatus... and a controlled return to f-net after an even longer absence. It's good to see him back on the site. Would glomping him help make his transition easier?
Hi KF! Glad you're back on!
A Friend

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by kilo_foxtrot

Dear Fencergrl,

I'm making a return to fencing following a six month hiatus... and a controlled return to f-net after an even longer absence. What would you recommend I do to help make the transition easier?

Yours truly,

KF

First off... welcome back Kilo! You did the right thing by posting immediately in my thread BTW... as this is where all the cool kids hang out.

As far as transitioning... stay away from the whole political hotbed of threads about the USFA... it'll just bad for your health. Perhaps welcome a few newbies in the Intro... or play a few water cooler games. Soon you'll be back in the swing of things and insulting Inq like the rest of us.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by jBirch

Dear FencerGrl,

I got into a discussion of substance with Inq. Again.

How can I keep from hurling the computer through the window with rage and frustration?

James, James, James....

When will you learn??? You're first mistake is arguing with a curmudgeon. They have their views and nothing you do or say will change them.

To get some Inq-free time on the Internet, do the following:
Hire someone in his neighbourhood to let some cats in heat out on their own on his lawn. Between the females howling and the males spraying this usually keeps him distracted from his time on the computer.

For additional piece and quiet hire some Mexicans to have a all-night street party in his neighbourhood.... make sure they bring their cars with the boom-boxes!

Lastly, make sure both are video taped. That way if you're unsuccessful in keeping Inq distracted, you will have a good laugh and be in much better spirits in dealing with him.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Warrior Princess

Dear Fencergrl,
I'm having boy trouble. Or lack of boy trouble. Honestly, I have no idea. There's this guy at school that asked me to the winter formal, but didn't end up being able to go, and I haven't really had a chance to talk to him since. I'm not completly sure how I feel about him (we are good friends though). There's also a guy at my club that I like, but I don't know if he's seeing anyone. We some common interests, but don't know eachother that well. And I'm just having boy trouble in general. Advice?
Frusturated and Confused

Dear Frustrated and Confused,

There's a few things you may not be realizing:

1) As a woman/female/girl you have more control of this situation than the guys do. The females always decide if the date/ relationship will happen. So if you're interested, give "I would say yes, if you ask me out signals". Studies show women consistently do the following behaviours around men they are attracted to:

-Eye contact, then a smile, then look away with a smile. Women hold eye contact slightly longer with men their interested in.

-Women also preen a little. Toss their hair, comb their hands through their hair etc...

-Women always make the first physical contact. A light touch on the arm... some little intimate, non-sexual contact.

Do these flirty behaviors with one or both guys. See who responds. If neither take the bait. It could mean one of two things a) They're not interested. b) see point #2

2) The second thing you need to know about guys is they are dumb. This isn't derogatory, they simply don't pick-up subtle stuff like women do. They don't communicate the same or as much as you do with your friends. They're not wired the same. Sooner you learn this, the easier your life will become. The younger the guy, the dumber... they are even more clueless about girls than you are about guys (and look how confused you are!)

So all is not doomed... this is the time of your life you're figuring things out, making mistakes, figuring out what sort of guy works with who you are etc... much like a beginning to a fencing bout.

As serious and important as it all seems... none of it really matters in the big picture of your life. So keep that in the back of your mind. Have fun! You could date no one and your life will still work out just fine. So relax...

There's a place between being too aloof /unapproachable and being desperate and needy. Find that balance. This is where you need to be.

Having said that.... there are women that feel uncomfortable being without a guy. They often have another lined up before one is gone (guys do this too).

If this is the case, learn to get comfortable with your singleness. Spend time without having a guy in your life occasionally. It's good for the soul. It helps you get in touch with who you really are and the type of people you want in your life.

Whadda you know... I gave some serious advice.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Go? Fencing?

Dear Fencegrl,

A friend of mine is making a return to fencing following a six month hiatus... and a controlled return to f-net after an even longer absence. It's good to see him back on the site. Would glomping him help make his transition easier?
Hi KF! Glad you're back on!
A Friend

Dear Friend,

No glomping! We don't want our good friend running away again.

Let's lure him back with our wit and our ability to play water cooler games. If that doesn't work we'll stalk him, kidnap him and chain him in our basement. Afterall, that's where most of the f-netters are kept that are MIA.

[Sword Hobbit]

Dear FG,

Last month at a party, I met the most wonderful man, who was there to in hopes of seeing an old girl friend of his. Of course we got married the next day. The problem is his family and mine don’t exactly get along, and he killed my cousin. Now his is in exile and I’m to be married in three days to some dude called Paris. A good priest friend has come up with a plan to have me take a drug so that my family thinks I’m dead and I can be free to be with my lover. My question is, is it really worth the trouble, as he was on rebound when we met and he killed my cousin?

~stabbed by a lover's dagger

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Sword Hobbit

Dear FG,

Last month at a party, I met the most wonderful man, who was there to in hopes of seeing an old girl friend of his. Of course we got married the next day. The problem is his family and mine don’t exactly get along, and he killed my cousin. Now his is in exile and I’m to be married in three days to some dude called Paris. A good priest friend has come up with a plan to have me take a drug so that my family thinks I’m dead and I can be free to be with my lover. My question is, is it really worth the trouble, as he was on rebound when we met and he killed my cousin?

~stabbed by a lover's dagger

Dear Stabbed...

No guy is worth all that. Dump his sorry butt... and move on. If he has money, get a good lawyer. Moving on is easier to do in a warm climate with a margarita.

[Codex]

Dear FencerGrl,

Do you think you'll ever find your missing "i"?

- Grammar Nazi

[Fencergrl]

Dear Grammar Nazi,

I is/am not missing but just choosing not reveal where I is/am.

[kilo_foxtrot]

Originally Posted by Fencergrl

First off... welcome back Kilo! You did the right thing by posting immediately in my thread BTW... as this is where all the cool kids hang out.

As far as transitioning... stay away from the whole political hotbed of threads about the USFA... it'll just bad for your health. Perhaps welcome a few newbies in the Intro... or play a few water cooler games. Soon you'll be back in the swing of things and insulting Inq like the rest of us.

Thanks for the warm welcome, Fencergrl. I admit, I already glanced at some of the USFA threads, if for educational purposes only. I think I'll take you up on some of the water cooler games, though in moderation... my bedtime is not as late as it used to be.

To G?F?: Fencergrl might be wrong, partly. The glomping helps!
(Of course, now having said that Fencergrl might be wrong, I'm probably going to find myself chained up in her basement. Didn't know she was into that sort of stuff...)

PS - Inq is... is... curmudgeonly!

Nope. Still need practice.

[Go? Fencing?]

Originally Posted by kilo_foxtrot

To G?F?: Fencergrl might be wrong, partly. The glomping helps!
(Of course, now having said that Fencergrl might be wrong, I'm probably going to find myself chained up in her basement. Didn't know she was into that sort of stuff...)

*glomps* Hi KF!

[Fencergrl]

Kids!

[D'Art]

Dear FG,

I'm seriously thinking of leaving my job (again). What's the best way to hand in my notice, and leave a lasting impression?

Frank Spencer

[Fencergrl]

Ohhhh Fraaaankkkk,

You should sing your resignation, as it will be very memorable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaAFynsoZAs&NR=1

Afterwards, you may find this handy for your job search:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cN_7KqScRY

Love Betty