09-06-2008, 02:56 AM
|
#661 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Dear Fencergrl,
I'm currently in the midst of a literary project that I hope might someday prove as successful as *insert latest popular book series here*. While I am working on my first book, I've written a short story on a similar premise, and so far it's gotten pretty positive reviews. Although I am concerned about one reviewer that said it was "good", but she had consistently called me a Perv as she was reading it. As yet, I haven't gotten that reaction from anyone else. Any ideas?
__________________
If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 | 
|  | | And now for this message... |
| |
09-06-2008, 04:24 PM
|
#662 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Quote:
Originally Posted by JackOfHearts  Dear Fencergrl,
I'm currently in the midst of a literary project that I hope might someday prove as successful as *insert latest popular book series here*. While I am working on my first book, I've written a short story on a similar premise, and so far it's gotten pretty positive reviews. Although I am concerned about one reviewer that said it was "good", but she had consistently called me a Perv as she was reading it. As yet, I haven't gotten that reaction from anyone else. Any ideas? | Dear Wanna-be Perv,
You haven't put enough naughty bits into your writing if only one person is calling you a perv. You need to do some more research before writing some more. 
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-07-2008, 01:04 AM
|
#663 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 190
| Dear Fencergrl....
I have the unfortunate predicament of premature baldness. I have been thinking of shaving my head and going ahead and getting over it instead of slowly letting my hair get farther and farther (and thinner and thinner) back on my head.
DISCLAIMER: THE NEXT PART IS A LITTLE WEIRD...........
Also... and I'm sorry for some this may seem a little gross... but I feel it must be said, although I am almost bald my legs and chest seem to have stolen all the hair growth horomones in my body and I have a small forest growing, should I shave those also? 
__________________
Details!? JUST STAB HIM!
| |
| | |
09-07-2008, 02:19 AM
|
#664 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Quote:
Originally Posted by ESLyon Dear Fencergrl....
I have the unfortunate predicament of premature baldness. I have been thinking of shaving my head and going ahead and getting over it instead of slowly letting my hair get farther and farther (and thinner and thinner) back on my head.
DISCLAIMER: THE NEXT PART IS A LITTLE WEIRD...........
Also... and I'm sorry for some this may seem a little gross... but I feel it must be said, although I am almost bald my legs and chest seem to have stolen all the hair growth horomones in my body and I have a small forest growing, should I shave those also? | The problem is simpler than you think. Follow these easy steps:
1) Purchase stick-on googly eyes, such as these: http://www.birchhaby.com.au/datafile...ew_on_eyes.jpg
2) While shopping also buy some large gloves that will fit on your feet.
3) Learn to walk on your hands.
4) When this skill is perfected, stick the googly eyes on your balls and put your shirt on your legs and the gloves on your feet.
5) Put your pants on your upper body covering your balding head.
My final piece of advice... Try and keep your "nose" from growing when a pretty girl walks by. 
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-07-2008, 02:34 AM
|
#665 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 190
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencergrl 3) Learn to walk on your hands. | HA! I can already do this! I AM SAVED! WOOT! (competing in gymnastics has it's advantages!)
Fencergrl you are amazing!...
Anyone want to donate me a pair of eyes? I'll take pictures!
__________________
Details!? JUST STAB HIM!
| |
| | |
09-07-2008, 07:24 AM
|
#666 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Elsewhere
Posts: 515
| Dear FG
there is a conference in Vancouver next August. Should I go? Is there anything to do there?
Would Paris with Mrs Wallet be a better option? | |
| | |
09-07-2008, 06:28 PM
|
#667 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Dear Ewww,
The cougars (or at least one in particular) migrates north near the end of August, making Vancouver quite a safe a lovely city. Paris on the other hand, will have large volumes of folks on strike so the cafes will be full of folks drinking wine and eating cheese.
As for things to do in Vancouver.... well normally running from cougars is the main activity, but I suppose one might find a few other things to do. It's Canada so there's always street hockey and beer drinking and making inedible maple treats to sell to tourists.
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-08-2008, 12:20 AM
|
#668 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: SF bay wine country
Posts: 323
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Fencergrl The problem is simpler than you think. Follow these easy steps:
1) Purchase stick-on googly eyes, such as these: http://www.birchhaby.com.au/datafile...ew_on_eyes.jpg
2) While shopping also buy some large gloves that will fit on your feet.
3) Learn to walk on your hands.
4) When this skill is perfected, stick the googly eyes on your balls and put your shirt on your legs and the gloves on your feet.
5) Put your pants on your upper body covering your balding head.
My final piece of advice... Try and keep your "nose" from growing when a pretty girl walks by. | Wicked funny.
Like the Dr. who had the patient that said his nose ran and his feet smelled.
The Dr. replied: "Maybe you are just upside down"
Sam | |
| | |
09-08-2008, 03:35 AM
|
#669 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: the Salle(I no longer have a home address)
Posts: 1,139
| Dear FG,
There was some conjecture that you have been out in the bush! Is this true? Cougar hunting or a cougar hunting?
Curiously twisted minds and all that.
__________________
J Jefferies | |
| | |
09-08-2008, 05:05 PM
|
#670 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Cougars migrate north from mid August thru to the first week of September every year. As part of their migration they:
1) sun themselves naked (of course) on alpine lakes.
2) catch and eat wild (and not so wild) things.
3) grow additional fur on their hind legs.
For more on the cougar's habits the Canadian Wildlife Association has put together this informative clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGmhm...eature=related
Any other Canadians miss the Hinterland Who's Who spots????
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-11-2008, 01:39 PM
|
#671 | | Perpetual Ephemerist
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,539
|
__________________
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
-- Rudyard Kipling "The Female of the Species"
¯\(°_o)/¯ | |
| | |
09-11-2008, 01:56 PM
|
#672 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Gosh... why do I bother writing about my vacation when someone has already taken the time to do so???
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-14-2008, 01:35 AM
|
#673 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Ahem. Please utilize the proper terminology!
The correct name for cougars is "Mountin' Lions".
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
| |
| | |
09-17-2008, 10:14 AM
|
#674 | | Perpetual Ephemerist
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,539
| A subspecies of "Cool Cats"?
__________________
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
-- Rudyard Kipling "The Female of the Species"
¯\(°_o)/¯ | |
| | |
09-26-2008, 06:36 PM
|
#675 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: the Salle(I no longer have a home address)
Posts: 1,139
| We can't allow this thread to slide into oblivion! Too much wit and wisdom here. Quote:
Originally Posted by ESLyon Dear Fencergrl.... (and we hope friends)...
I have the unfortunate predicament of premature baldness. I have been thinking of shaving my head and going ahead and getting over it instead of slowly letting my hair get farther and farther (and thinner and thinner) back on my head. | Tried that for a while. Then I saw myself in a video doing footwork. One Suggestion: take a video of yourself and see yourself the way other people see you. [I hadn't realized how ugggly the back of my bald head could be]  Quote:
Originally Posted by ESLyon Also... and I'm sorry for some this may seem a little gross... but I feel it must be said, although I am almost bald my legs and chest seem to have stolen all the hair growth horomones in my body and I have a small forest growing, should I shave those also? | Then you'll look like Mark Wheeler (maybe!). 'Course Mark used to be a male stripper back in the day and it maybe that he had a better physique to start with. So maybe you aren't in that class. YET!
The multiple choice question is:
a.) are we getting uglier as we age?
b.) learning to face reality?
c.) ceasing to give a D**n?
P'haps Fencergrl can put it in context for us.
__________________
J Jefferies | |
| | |
09-26-2008, 07:41 PM
|
#676 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,916
| Quote:
Originally Posted by jjefferies
The multiple choice question is:
a.) are we getting uglier as we age?
b.) learning to face reality?
c.) ceasing to give a D**n?
P'haps Fencergrl can put it in context for us.
| a) Yes, but keep in mind that as we age so does eyesight, so we are only really offending the young. And truthfully isn't that where the fun is??? 
b) No we don't get better at facing reality, because we still think we were good looking when we were younger. Facing reality means facing all of the reality. Our average looks have aged and now we still look pretty much the same / as bad as everyone else.
c) No true! I give d's double star, n's all the time. Especially when playing word games. Although admittedly I have a lot of *'s I haven't used, because I find them useful for online sex. Multiple *'s seem to have a mysterious way of getting people either very angry or horny or both. So they are worth saving up, because single *'s just confuse people. 
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
| | |
09-27-2008, 09:08 PM
|
#677 | | Perpetual Ephemerist
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,539
| Dear FG,
Does this seem useful in the general context of the recent discussion?
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve. - Coco Chanel
__________________
When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
-- Rudyard Kipling "The Female of the Species"
¯\(°_o)/¯ | |
| | |
09-28-2008, 01:55 AM
|
#678 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vermonster
Posts: 1,092
| Dear fencergrl,
My back has been causing me tons of pain for almost a week, i think you should fix it 
Muzak
__________________
Sometimes i think this cycle never ends
We slide from top to bottom and we turn and climb again
And it seems by the time that i have figured what it's worth
The squeaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse
| |
| | |
09-28-2008, 04:03 AM
|
#679 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 1,074
| Dear Fencergrl,
I'm fencing in the Leon Auriole Open next weekend, which is a huge, and fairly difficult tournament. How can I prepare to do my best?
Me
__________________
"When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and bearing a cross."
| 
| | |
09-28-2008, 04:14 PM
|
#680 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,603
| |
