Dear Fencergrl

[Empty Wallet]

less is always more I'm told. Try a b'day suit it's sure to get smiles. jjefferies


My birthday suit has been banned by the EPA for causing visual pollution

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by jBirch

Dear FG,

I'm travelling to San Jose next week for a conference. The conference lasts 4 days. I need to take a laptop, my SLR camera (& lenses), some technical books and clothes. The clothes need to allow me to go to the beach, go to the gym, go to a nice dinner and intermingle with the other conference participants.

I am planning on taking the bus/LRT from the Airport to the Hotel, so whatever I take I need to carry.

How should I pack all of that?

Dear Traveler,

First off...
Do you know the way to San Jose?
I've been away so long. I may go wrong and lose my way.
Do you know the way to San Jose?

Now with that out of the way. You've asked the right person. I happen to taking packing very seriously. I load a full ton of gear in the back of our truck every summer for our excursions into the wildness. I know the value of not having things break along the bumpy rough backroads or forgetting to pack something and having a 16 hour trip into town.

Being a military type, I'm sure you've ran packing and unpacking as well as dressing drills. So by now you probably know what will fit and how fast you can get dressed on any given morning.

Personally I prefer military bags as they're strong, withstand airline abuse and typically it's the only one on the flight and easy to spot. You also never have to worry about tags falling off as you can black marker your name and number on the bag.... hey it's only army canvas!

Since you're trekking through the wilds of San Jose, I suggest:
http://www.armynavyshop.com/Merchant...0001/2484a.jpg

Although personally, I prefer this style as the handles are big enough, I can strap the bag on like a backpack.
http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgur...icial%26sa%3DN

My suggestion for electronics... Pelican cases are pretty much indestructible. Well worth the money for your employer. http://www.pelican.com/cases_detail.php?Case=1490CC1

[Nicksmom]

Dear Fencergrl:

I work for a large compant, and there are many different departments. The departments have to work together in order to succeed. In my department there is a worker (twice divorced) who is a ....slut. In the department, which shares the same floor, there is a worker (once divorced, currently married) who is a ....male whore. Now, this normally wouldn't bother me, except, she is good friends with the supervisor who looks the other way and lets her leave work early, and disappear from the floor, (in order for her to meet up with him.) causing the other members of the "team" to have to pick up her slack. What should I do? I am really getting tired of the whole "dog in heat" show.
Sincerely,
the dog catcher

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Nicksmom

Dear Fencergrl:

I work for a large compant, and there are many different departments. The departments have to work together in order to succeed. In my department there is a worker (twice divorced) who is a ....slut. In the department, which shares the same floor, there is a worker (once divorced, currently married) who is a ....male whore. Now, this normally wouldn't bother me, except, she is good friends with the supervisor who looks the other way and lets her leave work early, and disappear from the floor, (in order for her to meet up with him.) causing the other members of the "team" to have to pick up her slack. What should I do? I am really getting tired of the whole "dog in heat" show.
Sincerely,
the dog catcher

Dear Dog Catcher,

First off... While it may be tempting to let the wife of the male whore know about this, it is a really bad idea (plus it's bad karma).

You're best bet is to try to cover off for her as little as possible. This will likely go unnoticed by the person not doing her job.... but at least you're not doing it for her.

This may not be an option in some jobs as it would interfere with your clients and the function of the department. If this is the case, consider ignoring it. These things tend to run their course and they're done. Although her work ethic may never be stellar.

If you can't avoid covering for her and you can't ignore it, you have two choices:

Transfer to a different department. Sometimes your co-workers behaviours are not a good fit with your own work ethic. The smart choice is to find a different department.

The other option is to lodge a complaint that she isn't carrying her fair load. Don't mention the affair, just discuss her work habits. Document these situations before approaching your supervisor. If others are interested in joining you in approaching the supervisor, be careful that you are only judging her work habits and nothing else.

Whatever you choose, the key to keep in mind is not what your co-worker is doing but how you can feel better about your work. You cannot change your co-worker (only she can do that), so find a way to adjust your work so her behaviour has less of an impact on your work life.

[parrythis]

I am BORED! Since giving my two-week notice at work I am just "warming the bench". How can I liven up my last few days at this job?

Signed,
Bored in Buffalo

[Fencergrl]

Dear Bored,

I suggest you bring a karaoke machine to work and sing songs that leave your memory burned in your co-worker's work-numbed brains for years to come.

[Sword Hobbit]

Dear fencer girl,

I work at My club to pay for my lessons, and often (if not always) have to go to the club right after I get off from my real job. so I have to change cloths completely at the club. Today I noticed one of the fencers (I say fencer bt i really just mean someone who come to the club and has his parents pay for lessons he doesn't really take), who I have known for sometime likes, was messing around by my fencing bag. I was a bit worried for a bit, but was about to get up on the strip and forgot about it, but when I got home my bra wasn't in the bag...THE LITTLE CREEP STOLE IT
my question is A) am I jumping to conclusions to assume he stole it? after all If I had of dropped a bra in a building full of men, it could have gone unnoticed for 2 hours. Right?
B) how do I go about taking care of the situation? do I talk to the little creep or the master of the club....or one of my older brothers

Confused, Freaked out, and Braless.

[Pescados666]

Dear Fencergrl,

I am very bored at times at home. I can't go out anywhere with friends since I don't have a ride (dad works nights and has our only vehicle) and I spent the last of my money on a new, shiny foil. I usually stay at home, on the computer, talking to people on Myspace, Yahoo IM, and various forums I'm active on. Sometimes, people are not online. I use this time to make the most random crap. This is what I made today... Scary Kids Scaring Kids band picture/SKSK music video. I'd like something more exciting to do with my time, what should I do? Also, next week, I will have something to do from 2:30 to 4:30 on Tuesday and Thursday, possible Wednesday.




Yours truly,
Bored gfxer

[Welted 24/7]

Dear Fencergrl,

I'm 22, and I've discussed marriage with my girlfriend in the future when we're both more financially stable. However, I have the kind of mother who is ALWAYS going to think I'm too young for it. Do you think she would hunt me down and flay me alive if we were to elope at some point?

Sincerely, Mom's Little Boy(groan)

[parrythis]

Dear Fencergrl,

OK, now that I have bestowed upon my co-workers my best karaoke rendition of I'm too Sexy for my Shirt, they are all shunning me. How can I regain their respect and admiration?

Signed,
Too Sexy

[jjefferies]

Originally Posted by parrythis

Dear Fencergrl,

OK, now that I have bestowed upon my co-workers my best karaoke rendition of I'm too Sexy for my Shirt, they are all shunning me. How can I regain their respect and admiration?

Signed,
Too Sexy

Post it here and we'll score you for it (1-10). Then you can show them that you're really not that bad OR That you really are BAD.

[Empty Wallet]

Dear FG

Now, don't want to start some type of unfortunate incident, but feel that this is an issue that must be addressed.
It comes to pass that at my little darlings' schools there seems to be a plethora of teachers of a certain persuasion - 5 or 6, possibly even more.

It's not as though I have anything against these sort of people. Indeed, from time to time I have had pleasant social intercourse with some. As they say, some of my best friends are.

However, should they be in charge of my children's future. I am sure, as an year old, you would have an inkling about teachers of a different orientation. We don't want to be nasty, or seen as intolerant. But surely there must be limits.

We have managed to organize to transfer the older one to a new school for next year. Expensive for us, but we have to consider the children.

It is the younger tot who will still be there. So you, so impressionable. How can we save that one from the clutches of this sort of person.

We try to bring them up with strong sense of who they are, of grounding, of a sense of right and wrong, might and power. But school environments and their denizens are just so power.

So, Dear Fg, how do we save the little ones?


Oh yes, I realised I have been being rather too oblique and must clearly state my concern... how do we save them from all these Canadians?

Some of my best friends are....EW

ps...if it makes any difference, I think some come from Quebec as they are teaching French.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Empty Wallet

Dear Fg, how do we save the little ones?

Oh yes, I realised I have been being rather too oblique and must clearly state my concern... how do we save them from all these Canadians?

Some of my best friends are....EW

ps...if it makes any difference, I think some come from Quebec as they are teaching French.

Dear Wee One Saver,

Qui... err I mean Wee, you have a good cause for concern. Canadians are very sneaky. They have the ability to blend into the American culture easily and their true purpose is suspect.

Yes... they ARE up to something. Rumour has it that they are invading the USA. Silently spreading across your country like maple syrup on crepes as not to arouse suspicions.

For what purpose you ask??? They are slowly turning Americans into Southern Canadians. Canadians can be quite subtle, so this change may only leave you mildly disturbed... like the thought of eating poutine.

The first sign might be your your children putting U's in places they don't belong. The colour of your neighbourhood will suddenly matter to you, but it won't be because of the dark skinned Muslims down the street.

You may also find sentences ending in a question mark eh? Leaving of course, more unanswered questions for you. Such as why are you being encouraged to leave your car running in the winter?

Global warming my friend. They are naturally all for it. They have only two Provinces that do not have beach front... all they need is the warm weather. They plan to turn Canada into a giant resort town.... yup a country larger than the US to hold beer & bikini bashes! They recognize that Americans prefer to travel to places where people look the same as them, speak the same as them, and eat the same foods but it is still has that risky foreign country thing going for it, making them feel exotic and well traveled.

I know what you're thinking... This global warming thing concerns me... if Canada melts, will my beer and assorted alcoholic beverages still be cold? No worries there my consumer-bloated southern friend. There's plenty of ice in icebergs! if you don't mind the odd thawing toe from the last ice age.

So relax... most Americans pretend to be Canadians when they travel anyway. This is your chance to learn a little French and learn how to write English correctly.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by parrythis

Dear Fencergrl,

OK, now that I have bestowed upon my co-workers my best karaoke rendition of I'm too Sexy for my Shirt, they are all shunning me. How can I regain their respect and admiration?

Signed,
Too Sexy

Dear Too Sexy,

You are leaving, their respect and admiration is meaningless. Feel free to start openly drinking on the job. And pick some more songs to sing loud and proud from your karaoke machine. Cheers!

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Welted 24/7

Dear Fencergrl,

I'm 22, and I've discussed marriage with my girlfriend in the future when we're both more financially stable. However, I have the kind of mother who is ALWAYS going to think I'm too young for it. Do you think she would hunt me down and flay me alive if we were to elope at some point?

Sincerely, Mom's Little Boy(groan)

Dear Zaboo... err Mom's Little Boy,

I suggest you either find a way to remove the tracking device from your ear or plan to poison your mother.

Unless she's finished "The Internet for Dummies" and is reading this. In which case, kill her fast before she tracks ME down.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Pescados666

Dear Fencergrl,

I am very bored at times at home.

Yours truly,
Bored gfxer

I have news for you buddy you're boring on the Internet too, not just at home. I suggest you head out in nature for a while. This is much better and healthier than sitting in front of your computer all day being "entertained".

Have no worries about your lust for blood and guts. All animals in nature, end their lives in the most goriest ways. It's one big never ending gore-fest!

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Sword Hobbit

Dear fencer girl,

snip... but when I got home my bra wasn't in the bag...THE LITTLE CREEP STOLE IT
my question is A) am I jumping to conclusions to assume he stole it? after all If I had of dropped a bra in a building full of men, it could have gone unnoticed for 2 hours. Right?
B) how do I go about taking care of the situation? do I talk to the little creep or the master of the club....or one of my older brothers

Confused, Freaked out, and Braless.

Dear confused and Bouncy,

By now (several days later) you have made some new friends going braless or wearing your new sexy bra. You have discovered the power of boobs. Go forth a wield your power and forget about the little twit.

Bras need to be replaced from time to time as they no longer support properly... so forget about it. Let the pervert have something to remember you by. You are better than him, ignore him.

If he admits to the theft, be kind... act like he stole it to wear himself. Encourage him out of his cross-dressing closet. Suggest books or websites or boyfriends he might be happy with.

I doubt this is the attention he is seeking.

[jjefferies]

Dear FG,
I find myself agreeing with Inq on matters of substance. Is there some pill I can take to end this substance abuse?

P.S. Ain't Feli