Zombies...

[Phantom5588]

Recently in a discussion, the topic of zombies was brought up...more specifically the notion that the best way of dispatching a zombie would be to light it on fire. Personally, I find this method rather ineffective because of the possible outcomes...after lighting said zombie on fire will he stop chasing you? Or will your situation simply have changed due to the fact that you are now being pursued by a flaming zombie and you have increased your own chances of catching on fire? I can think of no logical reason why the zombie would stop chasing you after it has caught fire...since they seem to have little to no reaction to pain, all that may result would be giving the zombie a nasty third degree burn before reducing it to a pile of ash.

Another person mentioned that since zombies are per say dead flesh, that a good way of eliminating them would be to expose them to maggots...but then would you have zombie maggots after they consumed the diseased flesh? Granted, zombie maggots would be conceivably easier to deal with than their human hosts.

I still say that the best bet would be to get some titanium chain mail, a fencing mask, and a katana to inflict damage using the method of decapitation. Or perhaps blunt force trauma...

Regardless of whether or not they are real, what would be the most effective method for disposing of them?

[the maple epee]

Zombies... Discuss


Why do people insist on discussing zombies? Why?

[lefty_monster]

The Zombie Survival Guide might be the culprit here.

[Nicksmom]

[lefty_monster]

Mom, do yourself a favor and go to the library and pick up "The Zombie Survival Guide."

[Got_Fenced_In]

Zombies... Discuss


Why do people insist on discussing zombies? Why?

You. Tell. Me.


How about we all discuss centaurs next? I, personally, think they are far superior to dead flesh eating monsters.


Pft.

[parrythis]

Are we talking about the slowly lurching zombies in the original "Dawn of the Dead" or the running zombies in the recent remake?

It would make a difference.

[RkfdFencer]

Certainly centaurs are superior to zombies; but, they are not typically the threat to life and liberty that zombies are.

It is also true that zombie 'speed' makes a huge difference in how you defend against them. You also have to consider terrain and tools/weapons on hand. I mean, really, how much time are you going to have to plan for this sort of thing?

[wahrman]

Or the fast, smart and nearly impossible to dispatch zombies from "Return of the Living Dead"?

Are we talking about the slowly lurching zombies in the original "Dawn of the Dead" or the running zombies in the recent remake?

It would make a difference.

[Phantom5588]

Mmm...well the overwhelming theme seems to be for the zombies to possess at least the physical prowess of their former selves if not more...and typically they are depicted as having powers that far preceded their former strength. Slow zombies seem to be slightly less threatening, perhaps because you could simply outpace them. Though I suppose this is all based on conjecture since there is absolutely no empirical evidence to be gathered from any instances...that we know of...

Centaurs do seem slightly less threatening than zombies...but so do fuzzy little kittens. Neither of which seem likely candidates to turn rogue and eliminate the human race.

[Capt. Slo-mo]

That's just what the fuzzy little kittens want you to think. The minute they figure out how to use electric can openers, our days on this planet are numbered!

[Timo]

My english teacher who is a jewish gnome said he has a broadsword to use.

[magic_moose]

Zombies... Discuss


Why do people insist on discussing zombies? Why?

This thread goes to prove that zombies are impossible to kill and tend to reappear long after you thought they were gone.

[mrbiggs]

Zombies... Discuss


Why do people insist on discussing zombies? Why?

Because there's so much ignorance about them right now.

You should NEVER light a zombie on fire. You should blow its head off with a shotgun. We should put this in the fencing.net FAQ.

[erik_blank]

As all of you should know, Zombies are actually a very productive part of our current economy. While there is some danger of infection from them, as shown in the movie Shaun of the Dead, they are simply mis-understood. With the proper care and feeding of Zombies, they can and often are an integral part of a thriving economy.

As for dispatching a Zombie; in the rare event that a zombie needs to actually be dispatched, a simple pink slip from their employer should do the trick. Often upon receiving said notice the zombie will self terminate as their purpose in life/death has been removed. In the rarer event that the zombie does not self terminate, there have been observed occasions when these creatures return to the ranks of the living and once again join common society.

[parrythis]

a simple pink slip from their employer should do the trick.

But what if it's an independent contractor zombie?

[Welted 24/7]

Read World War Z. All your questions will be answered.

[ThatReallyHurt]

You should NEVER light a zombie on fire.

Very true, they tend to wander around a lot and could set fire to the drapery.

[Phantom5588]

As for dispatching a Zombie; in the rare event that a zombie needs to actually be dispatched, a simple pink slip from their employer should do the trick.

What if they are color blind?

[ThatReallyHurt]

What if they are color blind?

That begs a question... do pink slips actually have text on them?

Have they always been pink?

Would zombies be allowed to join a union?

If so, how would they vote at meetings when all they can say is "NGGGGAAAAAHHHH... BRRRAAAAAAINSSSS", when what's requested is a simple "yea" or "nay"?

What does a zombie turn into when it smokes pot?