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Thread: Smart.....Aleck advice for Fencers

  1. #1
    Senior Member remistress's Avatar
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    Smart.....Aleck advice for Fencers

    Because I'm bored at work...and feeling snarky, the rules of this thread are to give sarcastic potentially useless advice to a fencer. Think of it as strip coaching for the bitter.

    Here I'll start:

    1) Stop attacking with your target area.
    2) Stop sucking.
    3) Yes, of course you should continue to try the same wrong thing, except faster.
    Do not meddle with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

  2. #2
    Senior Member lefty_monster's Avatar
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    If it doesn't work, blame it on your troubled childhood. That's what Americans do with their problems.
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Founding Father of the 516,649 Post Thread.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member campb1pr's Avatar
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    Hit them first. Or harder. Whichever works best for you. I really don't care.
    "A well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people" -- James Madison
    "Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it" -- Thomas Jefferson

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    When in doubt... yell louder.
    Just because it's funny:
    Quote Originally Posted by Capt. Slo-mo
    If you don't want to lose fencing privileges at USFA-sanctioned events, then refrain from throwing flamagels at those events.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Warrior Princess's Avatar
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    1) The guy coming at you with a sword is over there. Stop looking at me.
    2) Yes, it's exactly like ballet.
    When love bites, be sure to bite back.
    Rule #1 She who hesitates has lost.
    Rule #2 Don't trick yourself into thinking you suck.
    Rule #3 Remember, bad footwork makes coach cry.

  6. #6
    Senior Member LTranter's Avatar
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    This was actuallly told to me this weekend, very tongue in cheek, but all the same.

    Keep your distance.
    Don't get hit.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Rabid Monk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little_old_me View Post
    When in doubt... yell louder.
    [sabrist]How's that smart-alecky?[/sabrist]
    The preceding post brought to you by Rabid Monk (TM).
    Rabid Monk: informative, irreverent, interesting, random and downright odd posts, done with pride since 1983.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lefty_monster's Avatar
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    Well that was....unorthodox.
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

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  9. #9
    Senior Member jaroslav's Avatar
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    Slam your tip into the ground when the ref doesn't give you the point. They love it.
    Jesus tell um, “You know, I da Guy Who Fo Real. Wen I come back, I goin be awesome. All da angel guys goin come wit me. Den I goin sit down on top my throne dat stay awesome. (Matthew Tell Bout Jesus 25:31)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Warrior Princess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaroslav View Post
    Slam your tip into the ground when the ref doesn't give you the point. They love it.
    OO, and throw your mask too. Then they'll REALLY love it. They may even give you the point because they love it so much.
    When love bites, be sure to bite back.
    Rule #1 She who hesitates has lost.
    Rule #2 Don't trick yourself into thinking you suck.
    Rule #3 Remember, bad footwork makes coach cry.

  11. #11
    Senior Member larkmaj's Avatar
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    Make it ugly, you get the touch when it's ugly.

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    Senior Member ThatReallyHurt's Avatar
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    Just Like In The Princess Bride!

    Just Like In The Princess Bride!!!
    Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.

  13. #13
    Senior Member pigeonmeister's Avatar
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    .....tell him you're really not left handed
    "There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots"

  14. #14
    stu
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    I'm ashamed to admit it, but I actually gave this 'advice' to a guy who asked me for hints just as I was about to fence someone else.

    'Hold the blunt end. Stick the pointy end in the other bloke. Easy.'

  15. #15
    Senior Member Chuck's Avatar
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    To a young fencer who persists in backing up until he only has one foot on the strip . . .

    Keep backing up, soon you will have him right where he wants you!
    Last edited by Chuck; 01-13-2008 at 11:21 AM.
    If everything you try works, you are not trying hard enough.
    Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Nolano's Avatar
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    The best way to win is to hit them, without getting hit yourself.
    "When Fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and bearing a cross."

  17. #17
    Senior Member lefty_monster's Avatar
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    If you hit the referee again, I will kill you.
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Founding Father of the 516,649 Post Thread.
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  18. #18
    Senior Member matt9476's Avatar
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    Yes, by all means, salute after every point.
    Can't you, just this once, f*** off?

  19. #19
    Senior Member Got_Fenced_In's Avatar
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    ..With your mask off. Common courtesy.


    "Speak softly and carry a big stick!"

  20. #20
    Senior Member remistress's Avatar
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    You know, it might be easier to see the target area if you got your head out of your...
    Do not meddle with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

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