Night of the New Moon

[Lord Tellurine]

Lord Tellurine was relaxed. For the first time in a long time he felt as though he had accomplished something. He sat back in his chair at the obscure county inn he stopped at for the night. The fact that the inn was the Holly Dayye Inn, a inn he had been to previous, making it obscure to only those who didn’t follow Tellurine’s adventures from the beginning, gave him a warm glow. Or perhaps that was coming from the slowly burning fire in the fireplace.

His pouch was full of gold he had extricated from the Von Schmects upon his visit to them to share the misfortune of Arconia. Since then he had also heard of the demise of Lady Moon and he was celebrating. “Bring me another one!” he shouted, slamming his mug on is small round table, the same table he had breakfast on with Lady Moon many months back.

Holly sang out pleasantly, “Coming right up!” It was almost amazing how Holly Dayye’s attitude had changed. Of course, the turning point was when Tellurine poured from his pouch a pile of gold that paid for his last visit and his current one. At first she was leery and she checked each piece to make sure they were real. As soon as she was satisfied with their authenticity her permanent frown disappeared and she became the model of cheerfulness. She refilled his mug and placed a plate of freshly baked cookies in front of him. “Look! I baked you some cookies!” she said proudly.

“Fine… fine…” he said, waving her off. He threw a coin onto the floor behind her and she dove for it. He smiled again. Life for Lord Tellurine was good. But what would he do next? He could head back to Muu. He could inform the King of Muu about Lady Moon’s death (Telling him it was he who killed her), collect his reward, and just putter around the ancestral Tellurine lands. (Which were once Fauldergraft ancestral lands). He could go back to Arconia and watch the Von Schmects take control, if they hadn’t all ready. He could take a vacation.

A large man entering the building interrupted his thoughts. Tellurine turned around, took a look, and immediately knew who it was: Brother Emmanuel. They had met once before, but Tellurine was disguised as a Schoolcraftian messenger, so there was no chance of recognition. That being the case, he turned away from the door to watch the fire in the fireplace.

“Come on. Let’s sit,” he said to someone else. They sat at the table behind Tellurine.

“What can I get for ya?” the woman asked, slipping back into her “irritated I have to wait on you” tone.

“Something sweet,” the large man said. “I smelled cookies outside.”

“Sure. Will you be staying the night?”

“Looks like we’ll have to. I don’t dare travel at night. Especially when I’m with a princess.”

Lord Tellurine’s ears pricked up, but he resisted the urge to turn around.

“A princess,” said Holly, slightly more cheerful. “You don’t say.” There was a moment of silence. “Say, I know you! You were in here with… My, what a coincidence!”

“Our cookies!” reminded Brother Emmanuel.

“Of course,” she said abruptly and Tellurine heard her walk across the room and into the kitchen.

He heard Brother Emmanuel ask, “You were here before?”

A young woman’s voice answered, “I guess so. All these dumps seem the same to me.”

Tellurine played the voice through his head again. It seemed familiar, but not. It was like a familiar song, but someone had played it with an out-of-tune instrument. He couldn’t resist it any longer and he turned around. Sitting at the table behind him was Brother Emmanuel and a young lady he knew very well.

“Good evening,” greeted Brother Emmanuel warmly, but Tellurine’s gaze was fixed on the young lady. “I am Brother Emmanuel of Schoolcraftia and this is Princess Buffy of Schoolcraftia.”

The young woman met Tellurine’s intent gaze. Finally she said, “What’s your problem?”

“Lady Moon?” asked Tellurine.

“Yeah,” answered Ken-Dall of Hart.

[Ed. Note] You’ll have to dig deep to find it in some very old post, but Ken-Dall is Lady Moon’s evil twin.

[Willow]

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Not Ken-Dall! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BTW, thanks for bringing Holly back...LOL!

[Moonitic]

I LOVE IT!!!

The evil twin is back! YAY!

[Lord Tellurine]

Lord Tellurine intensified his stare. It looked like Lady Moon, it sounded pretty close to Lady Moon, but something about her was just not right.

“I see you know each other,” commented Brother Emmanuel.

Ken-Dall spun around and looked at Brother Emmanuel. “Of course we do,” she said with a smile.

This is not my Lady Moon, thought Tellurine.

“I bet you thought she was dead,” Brother Emmanuel told Tellurine. He didn’t respond. “Boy was I red in the face when I found out she was alive. And after I told the Queen of Schoolcraftia she was dead!” Brother Emmanuel’s face flushed with embarrassment. “I was on my way to my favorite bakery in Schoolcraftia just after telling the Queen the terrible news when I run into her!”

“What a big silly!” giggled Ken-Dall.

This is definitely NOT my Lady Moon, thought Tellurine. And whoever this imposter was had a strange perception on how Lady Moon acted.

Brother Emmanuel continued, “So I rush back to the palace to tell them the good news, but they had all ready left.”

“Left for where?” asked Tellurine.

“Arconia. That’s where we’re headed. To catch up with them.”

A look of alarm came over the strange Lady Moon. She said to Brother Emmanuel silently but forcefully, “You never said that my mother had gone to Arconia! You didn’t tell me that was why we were going there!”

Brother Emmanuel gave her a look of surprise. “Didn’t I?” he asked honesty. “Must have slipped my mind… speaking of which, where is that insufferable woman with my cookies?” He large frame rose from the table and he was soon lumbering towards the kitchen, which he entered freely.

Lord Tellurine took the opportunity to speak freely to the young woman. “You’re not Lady Moon,” he said to her.

She was silent for a moment as she thought what her next move should be. Finally, she said, “How do you know?”

“I happen to be one of the real Lady Moon’s least favorite people. I’ve even tried killing her a number of times.”

“Me too,” she said with a smirk. “I thought I had hit the mother load when that fat buffoon had mistaken me for my goody goody sister. When he said he would take me back to Arconia I thought it would be my chance to live the good life. But I can’t go back there if that’s where my Mom is! She knows who I am!”

“To tell you the truth,” Tellurine said with a glance towards the kitchen, “you haven’t really gotten the whole ‘Lady Moon’ persona down quite yet.” He thought for a moment and in the silence of the conversation Holly Dayye could be heard yelling at Brother Emmanuel in the kitchen. “Tell you what. I’ll give you some Lady Moon pointers and I’ll help you get around Arconia so that you don’t bump into your Mom.”

“What’s in it for you?” she asked suspiciously.

“Maybe you can help me settle some old scores.”

At that moment Holly Dayye chased Brother Emmanuel from her kitchen abruptly ending their scheming session.

[Swordsman]

Oh, wonderful, wonderful! ::Applause:: I AM so enjoying all this! If only my co-horts - ahem. I mean, fellow writers - would do some more posting...okay, that's not fair. They're all busy. Anyway, I'm just feeling inadequate here while I sit and plot, trying to come up with a coherent story to throw together. But, I'm loving it all!

[Lord Tellurine]

Lord Tellurine met Ken-Dall early the next morning behind the Holly Dayye Inn by the stables. It was just before dawn and a low fog clung to the forest floor.

“So,” started Ken-Dall in a low voice so not to disturb anyone still sleeping in the inn, “you got a plan, or what?”

“Do I have a plan?” repeated Tellurine with a smile. “I’m so full of plans it’ll make your head spin.”

Ken Dall stepped closer to the conniving lord and it appeared to him that she instantly grew taller also. She growled at him in a soft voice, “It better be plans you’re full of or YOUR head will lose its connection to the rest of your body.”

Tellurine’s smile melted as she stepped back and his usual sneer returned. “Understood.” He mentally noted that Lady Moon’s evil twin was just as feisty as she had been. “The plan is this: We return to Arconia with Brother Emmanuel. While he lumbers off to tell everyone that Lady Moon is alive we’ll lock ourselves in her room. At that point I will disguise myself as a doctor and deny anyone access to you, because you need to recover. Once I’ve schooled you in the art of mimicking your sister we’ll start showing you off. The big tests will be your mother… and that meddling sorceress, Willow.”

“All right,” said Ken-Dall without emotion. “Now, what’s in it for you?”

Tellurine could feel her gaze trying to penetrate him for signs of a double-cross. He said simply, “Your sister’s recent near-death experience was caused by ineffectual security at the Arconia Castle and Willow’s failure to protect you. We will demand monetary reparations for your suffering. I get half.”

“A third,” she countered almost immediately.

“A half,” he said again with force. “Or I tell everyone your secret.”

“The secret you’re helping me to keep? I’ll take you down with me.”

He thought a moment. The money really wasn’t that important to him, as the second part of his plan would yield him a bigger prize. “Fine,” he relented. “A third.”

She then asked, “What do we do after that? After I stick it to everyone in Arconia they’re not going to want me around anymore.”

Tellurine smiled and answered, “Then we go find Meekal.”

“Who’s he?” she asked.

“You’ll see.” They started back towards the inn and somewhere in the stable a horse sneezed. “Stupid horse.”

[Lord Tellurine]

The ride to Arconia City was pleasant for Tellurine. He rode his horse Hayfever just behind Brother Emmanuel and Ken-Dall. Brother Emmanuel was delighted to have Tellurine along, as the portly man was well aware of the dangers of riding through the woods, even during daylight. He fought his lingering fear by eating a sandwich.

Holly Dayye had sent them off with a basket of food including some of the cookies she had baked the night before, a few pieces of fruit, and some sandwiches that consisted of cheese or meat, but tasted nothing like cheese or meat.

As Tellurine was a paid-in-full customer, Holly was genuinely sad to have him go and it was a strange feeling to him. He smiled warmly when he thought about it, all the time knowing it was his sack of money she really loved.

Brother Emmanuel, on the other hand, explained that he was on official Schoolcraftia business and that Holly should bill Schoolcraftia. The next few minutes were filled with as many obscenities as the man would want to hear, including some he had never heard before.

Ken-Dall made the trip to Arconia City silently, heeding Lord Tellurine’s instructions that the less she said, the less she would screw up. The first noise she made on the trip was when they were approaching the city gates and she saw the castle in the distance. “Ooo,” she said, taken in by its splendor.

“Yes, it’s quite a sight,” agreed Brother Emmanuel. “The castle is a grand place,” he said, forgetting that Lady Moon, who Ken-Dall was pretending to be, used to live in the building. “They treat you well in there. Excellent kitchen staff… I made many friends amongst them. They’ll be pleased to have me back.” Lord Tellurine doubted the claim, but his thoughts we interrupted by him asking, “Have you ever been in the castle, sir?”

“I’ve had the occasion,” answered Tellurine truthfully.

“Good, I hope you won’t be a stranger and visit the castle during your stay in Arconia.”

“I’ll be around,” said Tellurine with an unnoticed sinister smile. Tellurine had joined their journey to Arconia by telling Brother Emmanuel that he was a broom salesman (A lie he had used in the past with some success) and that he was on his way there to sell his wares. Brother Emmanuel failed to notice he had no wares to sell, adding to the success of the lie.

As they grew close to the city Tellurine noticed that a group had passed down the road earlier in the day. His keen eye told him it was a large group, and wondered if it was the von Schmects moving in. It was the one thing that could throw a wrench into his plans. He couldn’t squeeze money out of Arconia if it was under new management. As they grew closer to the city, he dismissed the notion that it was the von Schmects. He would have seen their colors flying, and he didn’t.

They entered the city and made their way down the main thoroughfare, passing a rather busy Bitter End. It wasn’t busy with patrons, but with people packing a large cart in front, as if they were preparing for a long journey.

They neared the castle and Tellurine noticed the banners of Brenwyck and Angford flying above the castle gate along with the banners of Arconia, Marsteria, and Schoolcraftia. They were longtime enemies of Muu both and the sight of them made him choke on the air he was breathing.

Ken-Dall took it as the cough he was going to give as the cue for what she was to say. “I am so tired, Brother Emmanuel,” she said word-for-word as Tellurine had told her. “I wish to rest a bit and freshen up before seeing anyone.”

Tellurine was still coughing and missed his own cue. Brother Emmanuel filled in by saying, “But we must tell your mother and Willow that you are all right.”

Finally, Tellurine could speak and he said, “I will take her to her room while you inform the others of her return.”

Brother Emmanuel thought about it a while. For him to break the good news would give him the chance to make up for his earlier blunder… The one where he told everyone Lady Moon was dead. “Good idea.”

They dismounted and entered the castle. As Brother Emmanuel went off (in the wrong direction) to tell the good news of Lady Moon’s return, Lord Tellurine took Ken-Dall to Lady Moon’s room. As he opened the door he said to her, “Welcome home, Lady Moon of the Quill.”

She returned, “It’s nice to be back.”

[Lord Tellurine]

Brother Emmanuel was going in the wrong direction. Instead of heading towards the wing that was home to both Willow and Lady Moon he found himself near the kitchen. He was confused, lost, and hungry.

Through the kitchen doors came young Harold Wesley. He was still admiring the half a gold Arcon he received earlier in the day, when he saw the looming girth of Brother Emmanuel. “Brother Emmanuel,” he stammered. “What are you doing back?”

Brother Emmanuel took a moment to catch his breath, but it was useless. The breath had a wide lead. He finally managed to get out, “I’ve come back with a very alive Lady Moon.”

“Wow!” said Harold Wesley. “That’s great! Maybe King Arcon is still alive too!”

“Yes, indeed,” he agreed with a puff. “I was wondering if you could run and tell Dr. Abernathy in town that Lady Moon has returned. I think it would be best if a doctor examined her.”

“Sure,” said Harold eagerly.

“And for you trouble,” Brother Emmanuel said, reaching into a pocket, “how about a nice copper penny.” He dropped it into Harold’s open hand.

Harold looked at it with mild disgust. Boy, did his price drop in just a few short hours. Remembering his manners though he said, “I go fetch the Doctor right away.” He scurried off down the hallway.

Brother Emmanuel took a moment to marvel at the energy of youth and decided since he was at the kitchen anyway, he could get a quick nosh and then head up to tell the Queen of Schoolcraftia the good news. He opened the door to the kitchen.

“Brother Emmanuel,” said Queen Joslyn, turning from the stove and away from a perturbed Nani, “What are you doing in Arconia?”

“Bringing good news,” he said.

Nani doubted that with Brother Emmanuel back it would be good news to her.

[Lord Tellurine]

As Harold Wesley ran through town he heralded the news. Lady Moon of the Quill was alive and she was back!

Meekal the Daft came rushing into the Bitter End like a madman. Since everyone there knew Meekal, nobody paid it any mind. He called out, “Wooden Bob? Where are you?” Wooden Bob was sitting on the same stool positioned at the same point along the bar as he had everyday for as many years as anyone who drank a lot could remember. Sitting next to him was Captain Johann Smithe. “There you are!” exclaimed Meekal spotting his one-legged friend. He rushed over to him. “Bob, did you hear? Did you hear?”

Wooden Bob checked to make sure his ears were still on the side of his head. “Yes, I can,” he answered with some relief.

“No, not CAN you hear!” refuted Meekal. “DID you hear?”

This question was a lot trickier than the last and Wooden Bob had to think about it. He finally answered with trepidation, “No?”

“Lady Moon is back!” squealed Meekal with pleasure.

“So they found her body then?” asked Capt. Johann Smithe.

“No!” snapped Meekal.

“Then she’s not back,” justified Wooden Bob.

“She IS back!” argued Meekal. “And she’s alive!”

“Alive?” asked Capt. Smithe. “Then maybe there is hope for King Arcon.”

Steve walked over from the other end of the bar. He placed the sandwich Captain Smithe ordered in front of him. “Excuse me, Meekal? Did I just hear you correctly? Lady Moon is alive?”

Smithe asked, “So you’ve seen her?”

Meekal stopped for a moment and the wide grin faded from his face. “Um. No,” he admitted.

Smithe shot back, “Then how do you know she’s back? You can’t go lollygagging around thinking something’s there when it ain’t! …I learned that lesson the hard way.”

Meekal asked, “You mean the sea monster?”

“No!” Smithe snapped. “I’m talking about the fact that you can't get a sandwich here with a simple pickle!”

Steve glowered at the Sea Captain then headed back to the other end of the bar.

“Your right, Captain,” said Meekal. “I have to go find out for myself!” With that Meekal the Daft left, heading towards the castle.

Wooden Bob turned to Captain Smithe and asked, “They serve sandwiches here?"

[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Lord Tellurine ]</p>

[Lord Tellurine]

When Dr. Abernathy heard the knock on his workshop door he was sure it was his dear wife Henrietta with some more choice words. Instead it was young Harold Wesley, a kitchen servant in the castle. He was panting heavily.

“What’s wrong boy?” Abernathy asked crossing over to him.

Harold took a big gulp of air and said, “Lady Moon has been found. Alive. Brother Emmanuel brought her in. He wants you to examine her.”

“Of course, “ said Abernathy, turning around and grabbing his bag from a low shelf. He stopped a moment and he looked at the boy nervously. “Tell me, lad,” the good doctor began, “did you perchance try me at my house?”

“No, sir,” said Harold. “I thought you might be working, so I tried your workshop first.”

A wave of relief swept over Dr. Abernathy. The less his wife was bothered the better. “Good. Now let’s go see about Lady Moon.” He scooted Harold out the door and closed it as he exited his workshop.

“If you don’t mind,” said Harold, “I need to make a stop in town before returning to the castle.”

“Certainly, my boy.” Dr. Abernathy reached into his pocket. “Good job,” he said as he gave Harold a bunch of copper pennies. “Don’t spend these all on candy,” he told him with a wink.

“I won’t,” promised Harold, stuffing the pennies in his pocket along with the penny he got from Brother Emmanuel and the half a gold Arcon he got from the Earl of Brenwyck His parents would be overjoyed at the kind of tips Harold was making today, if Harold had intended on telling them. “Good luck!” he shouted to the doctor who already making his way up the street. He jangled the coins in his pocket. “Now to find me someone who will be willing to smuggle me onto the Arcon search party.”

Meanwhile, at the Bitter End, Wooden Bob wished he some money to buy a sandwich, even if it didn’t come with a pickle.

[Lord Tellurine]

The door to Lady Moon’s room was closed.

On the one side of the door, the inside of the room, was Ken-Dall of Hart, Lady Moon’s younger sister who looked, talked, and at times acted like Lady Moon. Also in the room was Lord Tellurine, an evil Muu operative who planned to use the young lady in a plot that involved her pretending to be Lady Moon and extorting money from at least two kingdoms.

On the opposite side of the door, the side that faced the hall, stood Ken-Dall’s mother, Queen Joslyn of Schoolcraftia, Brother Emmanuel, Meekal the Daft, and Dr. Julius Abernathy. All of them were there to see Lady Moon.

“Why is the door closed?” asked Dr. Abernathy soon after he arrived and had introduced himself to the Queen of Schoolcraftia.

“I don’t know,” said Queen Joslyn. “My daughter, Buffy, won’t come to the door! I’ve even ordered her to open it.”

Dr. Abernathy didn't doubt her claim. His gaze shifted to Meekal. “Meekal, did you do anything? You two have had quite a history.” This invited a glare from Queen Joslyn.

Meekal gave him a look of innocence. “I haven’t done anything!” He turned to Queen Joslyn. “We’re friends.” Her fears resided. Meekal added, “She helped me run away from my oppressive father.”

“She’s good at that,” commented Queen Joslyn dryly.

“She went on a quest with me that turned out to be a trap by a treacherous lord.”

“She’s never been lucky in travel.”

“Then I accidentally turned her evil.”

“And you’re friends, you say?” she asked quizzically.

“Off and on,” he replied with a weak smile.

[Willow]

Even confined to bed, Willow heard of Moon's return. Her emotions were spinning. She had to get to the room to see her friend. Against the wishes of Lady Olivia and Nicholas, she put on her robe and slippers and began to make her way down the hall to Moon's bedroom. There was already a small crowd outside the room.

[Lord Tellurine]

Meekal continued, "Then I helped her in releasing the evil twin of King Arcon from the dungeon."

"You don't say," intoned Queen Joslyn.

"And then I accidently collapsed a dungeon wall trapping her in a small air-tight room with our King."

"And my daughter enjoys your company?"

"We have a love-hate thing going," he answered. "And then when she was being kidnapped by Zarcon, the King's evil twin, instead of telling the search party I knew which way he went I escaped from the tower and stole a horse."

Queen Joslyn was speechless.

Dr. Abernathy whispered to Meekal, "I think you've said enough."

It was at that moment Queen Joslyn saw Willow coming up the hallway. Behind her was Prince Nicholas and Lady Olivia. She commented, "It seems my daughter is as popular as ever."

[Lord Tellurine]

The door opened suddenly and out stepped a heavily bearded man with thick spectacles. If Willow hadn’t been so weakened she probably would have seen through the costume and noticed it was none other than Lord Tellurine. He spoke in a deep accent. “Hello, my name is Dr. Herbert Wolfenslagensteinhausenburgerhoffstedd.”

“Where is my daughter?” demanded Queen Joslyn, trying to peer into the room through the crack that the strange man had left between the door and the wall.

“She is resting,” the man said through his thick black beard.

“Did you say you were a doctor?” asked Dr. Abernathy.

“Yes,” he replied. “I am a Doctor of Brainology. Your daughter,” he said to the Queen of Schoolcraftia, “has suffered some head trauma during her recent misfortunes. At the moment she is borderline amnesic.”

“Well, let me see her,” cried Queen Joslyn, as if she could cure her daughter with a hug.

The hairy doctor stood firm though. “That would be inadvisable. In her state of mind right now an influx of stimulus could send her deeper into shock, only prolonging her recovering.” He thought for a moment and then added, “Even when I do allow for visitation you might notice her forgetting certain things, or possibly not even remembering who you are.”

“But I’m her mother!” wailed Queen Joslyn.

“Then you should do what is right for her and let her rest and recover.” He looked at Meekal. “You though… You can come in.”

Meekal looked around the group; unsure it was he the strange man was talking to. “Me?” he asked.

“Him?” everyone asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “The young lady has quite an attachment to this one. He may be the jolt she needs.”

“She has an attachment to HIM?!?” repeated Queen Joslyn in disbelief.

Lord Tellurine said, “I will inform you when Lady Moon is well enough for other guests. But for right now…” He motioned for Meekal to step forward. He did. “…Good day.” They disappeared behind the door.

“Who was that?!?” asked Queen Joslyn to nobody in particular.

Almost everyone started, “Dr. Herbert Wolfensla…” It quickly petered out.

“A very strange man,” commented Dr. Abernathy. “I’ve never seen him around before.”

“Where did he come from?” a weakened Willow asked Brother Emmanuel.

“I honestly don’t know,” he answered. “I left the princess to go tell everyone she had returned. This is the first I’ve seen of him.”

“I want to see my daughter!” demanded Queen Joslyn of the closed door. She stood there for a moment silently fuming.

Lady Olivia suggested, “Perhaps it would be a good idea to give your daughter some time to rest.”

The fight drained out of Queen Joslyn and she relented, “Perhaps you’re right. But if I don’t get to see my daughter soon, I’ll break down the door myself.”

Dr. Abernathy could picture it clearly in his mind. The door wouldn’t have a chance.

[lochinvar]

The queen was trying to read when the news reached her.

Zelda sat in the window seat of her parlor, waiting for Latenight to return. A richly bound, lavishly illuminated volume of ‘Zen and the Art of Foil Maintenance’ lay open before her, but she had just re-read the same paragraph for the third time, and still didn’t comprehend what it said.

If only Latenight would get back with the will! She hoped for his sake that he hadn’t stopped to dally with any of the serving girls or one of his many ‘prospects’ he maintained in town, like that Miss Bookworthy at the archives. If he had, she would see to it that he rued the day he’d been born male!

Just as she was preparing to concede the futility of her efforts, Edward the butler entered the room and approached her. “Forgive the intrusion, Your Majesty, but I thought you should be informed as quickly as possible. It seems the Lady Moon has been found alive, and has been returned to the castle.”

Zelda sat blinking and staring dumbly at the butler, like an ox stuck on the head by a hammer. She saw the man’s lips moving, heard sounds coming from his mouth, but the information just wouldn’t register. “The Lady Moon? Alive? Here?”

“Yes, Your Majesty; so it would appear. I have not confirmed the rumor with any reliable source, but I believe it to be genuine. It is reported that she was taken to her old rooms.”

The moment stretched as knowledge made its slow way from synapse to synapse, finally coming to rest in her cognitive centers. Then her eyes shot wide; leaping to her feet, she dashed off in the direction of Lady Moon’s apartments like a speeding arrow. She was out of the room almost before the forgotten book hit the floor.

For a moment more, the imperturbable Edward stood looking at the empty doorway through which her fleeing form had just disappeared. Then he bent to retrieve the abandoned volume, gently straightened the pages that had been creased by it’s precipitate tumble, firmly closed the cover, and tucked it under his arm.

“I’ll just put this away then, shall I, Madam?” he said to the empty air. “Very good.”

[ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: lochinvar ]</p>

[Willow]

Ok, I have decided that Tellurine has a plot going on to kill me. I must remember not to eat or drink when I am reading any plot at Fantasy Land. I was eating a danish butter cookie when I read LT's latest, and thought for a moment I was going to choke to death. Then, I swallowed an ice cube in my efforts to drink down the cookie. If I die, I blame Tellurine. Someone, in the event of my death, forward Fantasy Land to the proper authorities. Thank you.

[Zelda]

Epee??? PLEASE!!!! THANKS Loch....my sensibilities are now feeling better!

[ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: Zelda ]

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: Zelda ]</p>

[Lord Tellurine]

[ed. note] Lord Tellurine cannot be held responsible for any death relating to the reading of his posts. You read at your own risk.

Lord Tellurine hadn’t expected to see Meekal the Daft in the hall, but decided there was no time like the present to get the second part of his evil plan set into motion. His plan was simply this: Ken-Dall, posing as her older sister, Princess Buffy, would marry Meekal the Daft, uniting Muu’s war machine with Schoolcraftia’s ample treasury, assuring Tellurine a warm spot in the King of Muu’s heart and perhaps a cushy bureaucracy position in the Muu government. He could smell the papers being pushed already. First though, the lovebirds had to meet.

“Princess Buffy,” Tellurine said in his thick doctor accent, “may I present Meekal, Prince of Muu.”

Meekal bowed courteously.

Princess Buffy was sitting up in Lady Moon’s bed. She smiled politely and looked at the heavily bearded Tellurine. “My memory’s still a little shaky… Did I know this bozo?”

“Of course you do,” said Tellurine, through gritted teeth, although it was hardly noticeable under the fake black beard. “You two are a couple.”

“We are?” asked Ken-Dall and Meekal.

Meekal tugged on the bearded doctor’s sleeve. “Are you sure about that?” he asked. “We’ve had our ups and downs.”

“Who hasn’t,” laughed the doctor. “Whatever past differences you’ve had, I’m sure they’re all forgotten. Right, Princess Buffy?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a nasty glare at Tellurine.

“The important thing,” continued Tellurine through his thick beard and thicker accent, “is that you two get to know one another again. I’m not saying you have to go off and get married right away… But if you do, so what?”

Meekal’s eyes grew large at the prospect of marrying Lady Moon. He had tried so hard to get her to like him; he was beginning to think it was a lost cause. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a gray stone. “Nigel!” he exclaimed happily. “Did you hear? Lady Moon and I are together again!” Nigel was the first stone Meekal ever got and he shared everything with him.

Ken-Dall kept looking at the daft prince and Tellurine, back and forth, wondering what she had gotten herself into. This whole thing was beginning to feel like a bumpy carriage ride and she was being used as a bump. She faked a swoon and said, “Doctor, I do believe I need to rest. Could you show the gentleman… and his rock out?”

“Of course,” said Tellurine. He took Meekal back to the door. “Drop back in on us soon,” he told him.

“Oh, I can’t,” explained Meekal. “I leaving tomorrow with the King Arcon search party. I may not be back for months.” He opened the door and let himself out. “Bye!” he called and closed the door behind him.

“Not be back for months?!?” repeated Tellurine without the accent.

Ken-Dall was out of bed and approaching him. “What kind of joke are you playing here, Tellurine? ‘Cause I’m not laughing!”

Tellurine smiled weakly through his beard. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Outside, Meekal rejoined the group huddled around the door. They stared at him as if he would say something, anything about Lady Moon. He said nothing. He just smiled and started whistling as he walked down the hallway away from them. He was a man in love and he couldn’t wait to be back from the Arcon search when he could woo his love with all the charm he possessed. And he didn’t care one bit if Nigel thought she was a phony.

[ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: Lord Tellurine ]</p>

[lochinvar]

[Okay, Zelda, I edited it...just for you, dear!]

<img src="graemlins/blah.gif" border="0" alt="[Blah]" />

[ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: lochinvar ]</p>

[Lord Tellurine]

Ken-Dall was not amused. “What kind of scam you running here?” she demanded of the heavily bearded Lord Tellurine. “What makes you think I want to marry that rock-talking dope?”

“Calm down,” replied Tellurine in a soothing, oily voice. “It’s all part of the big picture.”

“I thought the big picture was getting money.”

“This is the bigger picture,” explained Tellurine. He pulled the fake beard off and he led the young woman away from the door, where just on the other side stood a half dozen people wanting to see Lady Moon, and over to the bed. “If your sister, which is now you, marries Prince Meekal, the Kingdom of Muu would have access to the Schoolcraftia treasury…” He paused so that she could fill in the blanks. She couldn’t care less if there were blanks or not. He continued, “Allowing Muu to rebuild its army and reduce Arconia to rubble.”

“And I care, why?” she asked in snotty, ungrateful voice.

“In the line of succession, you, or rather you as Princess Buffy, will be Queen of it all.”

“That’s all well and good,” agreed Ken-Dall, “but I’m stuck being hitched to that rube!”

“Accidents happen, my dear. And husbands die.” He smiled an evil smile.

She smiled. “Your good,” she commented.

“I’m so good I’m bad.”