Greatest Hits

[fencingfrog]

no, no music please. I mean either the funniest/wierdest/most wtf hits of fencing, either getting hit or hitting your opponent.

for example:

i was at a tournament, and i was fencing a rather aggressive guy. he kept attacking and remising (i would take the riposte), but one of his locked me out because his foil got stuck in my off-hand jacket sleeve!! i have a pretty bruise now, but i still can't figure out how he got his foil inside my sleeve

[erik_blank]

I distinctly remember watching a bout between two prety good Epee fencers, one a pretty respected referee at the time and the other a strong collegiate fencer. I'm not positive what had gotten the collegiate fencer annoyed (I believe that the referee had been making some pretty hard hits and or been causing a lot of corps a corps from constant failed fleche attacks) but after a number of 'offences' the collegiate fencer had just had enough. On the Reff's next attack, the Collegiate fencer stiff arms the ref straight in the sternum. I watched in slight awe as the ref fell straight to the floor on his back side while holding his chest where he got 'stuck.' After about 3 minutes of catching his breath the ref got back up and finished the bout.

[D'Art]

There was one time I was fencing for my University at a Teams comp, and one of the guys in my team (S.R. for all the Scots out there) was knocked out cold after a coming together with the opponent. An onlooker went and got a first aider who took his mask off and screamed "Jesus Christ!! He's got horns on his bloody forehead!!!", just as he started to regain consciousness.

Cue lots of very non-stifled laughter from almost everyone.

[RkfdFencer]

Fleched at my opponent in an epee bout; he fell backwards but managed to touch my foot on his way down. His landed enough ahead of mine to keep my touch from even registering.

I thought it was funny and a cool touch for him. That he went on to win was not as funny to me, but there ya go.

[Zasha]

junior year of high school, my school was fencing against a much better trained/equipt/prepared school.
i have bad knees, so i can squat, but getting up is not easy. this girl keeps on hitting my in the collarbone. she's left-handed, and considerably taller than i am, but not moving very much. i beat the blade up and go down, but overshoot and miss. i can't get up, so i turn my blade palm down and continue to her back leg. my touch.

[Neinteen]

I won a 4-4 bout in overtime when I lunged, fell short, got my guard stuck under theirs and pulled back. When i pulled back it sent their blade in the air and I got the touch.

It was for a rather important bout too.

[BALKANBOY]

Balboz hitting on cheap girls.

[Nolano]

My favorite so far was when I was fencing a friend of mine, and as the bout started, I stopped, adopted a shocked look, pointed and said "Oh my god! What's that?!?!"

So he looked. My touch.
Doubt that will ever work on anyone ever again, but that was pretty good.

[jaroslav]

At some national tournament I was fencing someone who had about the same skill as me. We were both moving back and forth and I saw an oportunity for a toe shot. At the exact same moment as I attacked her toe, she attacked mine! We both hit each other in the ankle and got a double touch. It was pretty funny and we both laughed.

[Meteoric Iron]

He was 6'4", and a lefty, and liked to pull a loooong lunge every few bouts. The score was 4-3, and as he went long, I ducked left and shot up at a weird angle, my blade got stuck in the crease of the knickers where the buttock meets the back of the thigh. As I pulled my blade out, the ref shrugged, " It's a valid touch. Bout."

Epee, of course. I'll never forget the look on their faces.

[Miglin]

Balboz hitting on cheap girls.

Maybe it's because it's 2:30am, but I found that to be pretty funny that he technically made a clever pun.

ANYWAY, my favorite touch was when a former teammate of mine went for my foot, and my epee ended up down his back, under his jacket. My touch, and an interesting mark, to say the least.

[jeff]

My weirdest touch was during a college match when I was a freshman or sophomore. There was a pretty good left handed foilist for the other team - left handed because he only had one arm - the right sleeve was empty. I hit him square onto his sternum and he toppled right over. He then got up - it looked almost as if he levitated - without using his one arm to help himself back up. Easy bout for me, but he was pissed off and blasted through my teammates in his other bouts.

[Katman]

I was reffing saber for some reason at a smallish local tournament. Fencer on the right attacks and the fencer on the left parried and riposted. After he was parried, right fencer continued forward and clicked his guard right into his opponent's mask.

His opponent shouted, "Whoooooa," then did a very neat pirouette and fell flat on his face.

I poked him with my toe and said his name a few times. When it was obvious he was out, I called over a medical person who happened to be fencing.

The dude came around in short order. His first question was, "What happened?" His second was, "Did I get the touch?" and his third was "Did he get a red card?"

[Warrior Princess]

The favorite touch of mine that I ever got? Hmm... Well, I'm clumsy (my coach frequently calls me 'Stumblina'), so there's alot of potential there for hilarious touches, but the one particular one comes to mind right now. I was fencing this guy, and I rolled my ancle in a lunge, my shoe came off, I slipped because of my sock, ended up in the splits, but still got the touch.
The favorite touch against me? Well, it's more of a series of touches. I think it would probably be the time I was fencing one of my exboyfriends who happens to be really tall. We were helping one of the coaches with a bigginer's summer camp, and it was break time for the kids so Peter (that was his name) and I decided to fence (epee because I was able to borrow his equipment and we couldn't find another foil lame otherwise he could've borrowed my stuff). He kept hitting me in the throat. Every single touch he got on me was to the throat. I asked why he kept hitting me there, and he said that it was because my throat was right at shoulder level for him so all he had to do was stick his arm out. After that, being the vindictive girl that I am, I belled him in the balls with an epee (mostly an accident, but still...).

[commiemermaid]

I was testing guards at a recent interscholastic meet, and we were going through that awkward "who's going to test first" dance... I made it pretty clear that I was going to make the first hit, but she just kept turning her epee away, so I caught her straight in her exposed wrist.

It was actually an accident -- I was going for her guard -- but my coach was convinced that I did it to spite the other girl and laughed at me as I apologized.

I won a 4-4 bout in overtime when I lunged, fell short, got my guard stuck under theirs and pulled back. When i pulled back it sent their blade in the air and I got the touch.

It was for a rather important bout too.

Isn't that corps a corps and a halt? I think it is in epee...

[Aussie_Fencer]

Tonight while fencing I went in for a parry repost, but my opponent came in very hard, and not only powered through my attack but also through the fingers on my left hand. Need I say I bled and was in quite some pain :P
Aussie

[Timo]

Ouch aussie. Through your hand?

I had this very clean and nice double disengage right to 6 against my coach. (I might have a better one once I fence more)

[epee rocks]

Probably one of my funniest was when my friend and I was fencing a practice match. We both saw an opening so flesched at the exact same time. My blade completely missed, but his went into my stomach and his tip bent over to his bell guard without breaking . It was pretty funny showing that blade to everyone in the club.

[leftyboy]

Sabreur (moi) fencing foil, foil to happy place. The tip of the happy place.



I hate foil.

[matt9476]

being the vindictive girl that I am, I belled him in the balls with an epee (mostly an accident, but still...).

I'm not that vindictive, nor am I a girl, but I am evil, and I did something similar. I was at a tournament in Ontario, Canada and learned one of the fencers in my pool wasn't wearing a cup. He was getting particularly annoying with his, "actually, I'm the best fencer in my club and I'm beyond all of the people in this tournament" monologue, so I shut him up in our pool bout. On the first action, I feinted high, disengaged low and speared him in man-land. Hey, it's valid target. I'll bet he learned to wear a cup after that. Oh, and I got the touch.