Apologizing

[Carlos37]

I have the bad habit of apologizing to the other fencer if I hit him kinda violently even if he/she´s not hurt.I think I should stop doing this since it´s a tiring habit and besides,people don´t really care if it´s the other way around.Need advice.

[Durando]

Originally Posted by Carlos37

I have the bad habit of apologizing to the other fencer if I hit him kinda violently even if he/she´s not hurt.I think I should stop doing this since it´s a tiring habit and besides,people don´t really care if it´s the other way around.Need advice.

Not a bad habit at all. Just put your left hand in the air, make sure he sees it, come back on guard.

[Heavenguard]

I have a friend who, when I met him, used to say "Sorry" for everything little he did, and I'd have to turn around and tell him "I don't accept your apology, because that's not something to be sorry about." It took about two years of that to get him to drop it.

Just remember that the person you're fencing against knows exactly what they're getting into, is prepared to be struck, expects to be struck, and accepts being struck (otherwise they wouldn't be fencing), thereby eliminating any need for apologies. Why apologize to someone that 1) you haven't wronged, and 2) doesn't want it anyway?

Now, if you smack em real good in a place that really hurts -- then you can apologize.

[Goldgar]

Originally Posted by Carlos37

I have the bad habit of apologizing to the other fencer if I hit him kinda violently even if he/she´s not hurt.I think I should stop doing this since it´s a tiring habit and besides,people don´t really care if it´s the other way around.Need advice.

If you think your action was violent and improper, go ahead and apologize. If you think your action was proper but due to an accident your opponent was hurt by it, apologize without guilt. If your opponent is consistently hurt by actions that are perfectly proper, feel sorry for him but don't apologize.

If you find yourself apologizing a lot, ask the opinions of others in your club to help determine if you're doing something wrong.

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Waaaaaaaaaaait a second.

You have identified a bad habit of "apologizing after a violent hit"??

Shouldn't the bad habit be "hitting violently"???

Wouldn't the apologizing mostly go away if you stopped often hitting violently?

[Tomas N]

I used to apologize a lot when I played pickup basketball. I would foul people all the time. My apologies were seen as insincere, since the fouls didn't stop.

At one point I decided to learn the game better so that I don't foul so much. Everyone is happier.

Tomas

[Redblade]

In agreement with others posted above:
First, keep working on your fencing skills so you reduce the incidence of "violent" hits. You might not need to apologize quite as often.

[jkdjeff]

This is going to be a tough habit for me to break, coming from a martial arts background where you're actually hitting someone with fist or foot without much in the way of protective gear.

So a "sorry" moment tends to involve quite a bit more pain than most fencing hits would.

[I_luv_saber]

I see nothing wring with apologizing after a "violent hit". I think the fact that you should continue to practice until you don't make violent hits is a given, so until you reach that point what's wrong with an apology (or perhaps a later explanation or asking for advice?)?

[samh]

I agree with Durando, nobody has time to hear an apology everytime a somewhat violent hit happens; however, everyone appreciates the open hand gesture of apology. Gestures are a good way to communicate with an opponent when fencing, for example when your opponent touches the floor and admits it, a thumbs up or nod is nice.

[Cookeit]

Originally Posted by samh

I agree with Durando, nobody has time to hear an apology everytime a somewhat violent hit happens; however, everyone appreciates the open hand gesture of apology. Gestures are a good way to communicate with an opponent when fencing, for example when your opponent touches the floor and admits it, a thumbs up or nod is nice.

Thumbs up, haha.
Thats old school.

[HDG]

Originally Posted by Cookeit

Thumbs up, haha.
Thats old school.

I prefer it to a spoken "nice touch" etc. They may or may not hear you, and may or may not understand you, but in most milieus a thumbs up is pretty clear. Fonzie style "ayyyyy" optional.

[glowstix]

Originally Posted by Durando

Just put your left hand in the air, make sure he sees it, come back on guard.

or right hand..

[annacattiva]

We used to have a number of new fencers every year who would apologize after every hit. (Or slightly later, after slightly harder hits than usual.) We instituted a policy of 5 or 10 pushups for each un-thinking apology. That meant that if you genuinely thought you hit really unnecessarily hard, or that you hurt your opponent, you could say "I am very sorry if I have caused you pain" or "I'm sorry that I hit you harder than necessary." It meant that people were clear that they weren't apologizing for Hitting, but rather, for causing pain by doing it incorrectly.

Anna