Mom needs to vent

[Nicksmom]

Maybe it's the Pina Colada that I just finished, but I really love you guys. You all have such honest opinions, and have given me such good advice. Even KidLazy who had to rub it in..cough-cough.. If I had posted this (or the Irish dance equilivent) on one of their boards, I would have been hit with ridicule and told to "shut-up". (yep, it's happend with a simple question).
Nick is a sweet guy with a big heart, and I am very proud of the way he has continued. I'll keep you posted. That is unless you tell me to shut-up.. then..I'll cry.

[4qtrs]

Originally Posted by KidLazy

Well, call me crazy, but I drive 80 miles after work to fence...

You win!

However, I would say that it is far from lazy!

[4qtrs]

Originally Posted by Nicksmom

If I had posted this (or the Irish dance equilivent) on one of their boards, I would have been hit with ridicule and told to "shut-up". (yep, it's happend with a simple question).

I think you will find this group is very supportive and experienced.

Hey! Can you send ones of those Pina's down my way? It's just about quitt'in time here in LA!

[KidLazy]

Originally Posted by 4qtrs

You win!

However, I would say that it is far from lazy!

My laziness is only a deception…

[Mo]

Originally Posted by Nicksmom

Nick is a sweet guy with a big heart, and I am very proud of the way he has continued. I'll keep you posted. That is unless you tell me to shut-up.. then..I'll cry.

There is more to fitting in a fencing class than size or age. When we are grown up we are not sorted according to size but according to ability.
It seems to me that Nick will benefit from being in a class with a bunch of older kids especially if he is mature and responsible enough to take care of himself which it seems he is.
He will learn at a speed that works for him. I've seen so many classes for little kids that are so dumbed down. They would have never worked for my kid and don't work for most kids with a darned good brain on their shoulders.
Take some time and see what happens. I bet Nick will win the kids in the class over.
A good phrase my daughter used often is, "I am just young, not stupid." That can help turn off the condescending crap that younglings get from older kids.
The Momster

[lefty_monster]

"I'm just young, not stupid." That's excellent! I'll have to use that line! Rep to Mo.

[Nicksmom]

here-here..Rep to Mo

[sleepyweasle]

Originally Posted by Mo

There is more to fitting in a fencing class than size or age. When we are grown up we are not sorted according to size but according to ability.
It seems to me that Nick will benefit from being in a class with a bunch of older kids especially if he is mature and responsible enough to take care of himself which it seems he is.
He will learn at a speed that works for him. I've seen so many classes for little kids that are so dumbed down. They would have never worked for my kid and don't work for most kids with a darned good brain on their shoulders.
Take some time and see what happens. I bet Nick will win the kids in the class over.
A good phrase my daughter used often is, "I am just young, not stupid." That can help turn off the condescending crap that younglings get from older kids.
The Momster

While this is certainly true - being the only "young 'un" in a class of much older kids/adults can be a turn off for other reasons - i.e. there's no one to hang out/play with during and after class. My daughter adored karate - wanted to go 3 - 4x/week until she got her black belt and was placed into the teen/adult class (there were no other black belts her age). The other students were all very nice to her and treated her well/with respect but she gave it up within the year because "it wasn't fun anymore, none of my friends are there".

Don't underestimate the social aspects of a sport, especially for the younger set.

[Nicksmom]

Back from class.. One of the older students was very sweet to Nick, she wasn't there on Thursday, she commented to him how cool it was that he had a foil and mask the perfect size for him. One of the two "coaches" was there, I mentioned about the comment and was told "I didn't mean anything of it." I also said that word can either build up or tear down. But, Nick went on like he always does. He always seems to be last when they advance down the room and back, and I realized today why...his legs are shorter, I told him not to worry about it, and that if the others were dowing it with the same length legs as him , that he would beat them hands down. He just smiled

[Mo]

Originally Posted by sleepyweasle

While this is certainly true - being the only "young 'un" in a class of much older kids/adults can be a turn off for other reasons - i.e. there's no one to hang out/play with during and after class. My daughter adored karate - wanted to go 3 - 4x/week until she got her black belt and was placed into the teen/adult class (there were no other black belts her age). The other students were all very nice to her and treated her well/with respect but she gave it up within the year because "it wasn't fun anymore, none of my friends are there".

Don't underestimate the social aspects of a sport, especially for the younger set.

While this can be a factor, if there are no other options, some kids would rather engage in the sport than have someone to play with.
If a kid is getting a good challenge from fencing older kids and can hold their own while doing so, the practice in it's self is very self gratifying.
There is always time for socializing after leaving the club.

Momster

[Capt. Slo-mo]

Originally Posted by Nicksmom

One of the two "coaches" was there, I mentioned about the comment and was told "I didn't mean anything of it."

The coach's tone and attitude about it will tell you loads about your future there. If he sounds genuinely concerned that he may have inadvertently deflated Nick's enthusiasm, then life is good.

If he sounds like you're questioning his coaching acumen and prowess, or acts like you've got a lot of nerve bringing it up, not so good.

[4qtrs]

Originally Posted by sleepyweasle

While this is certainly true - being the only "young 'un" in a class of much older kids/adults can be a turn off for other reasons - i.e. there's no one to hang out/play with during and after class.

Don't underestimate the social aspects of a sport, especially for the younger set.

I have to somewhat disagree with your point. I think that some kids are so into a sport like it was something they were drawn to from a past life. They could care less who they hang out with. They are there for one thing that turns their mind on.

Now, before you retort, I would say that I am talking about at most 1-2% of the kids, not the majority.

[4qtrs]

Originally Posted by KidLazy

My laziness is only a deception…

Tricky, Very Tricky!

[fencerwallet]

I apologize in advance, and not to be glib, but we're talking about a 6 year old. I agree with other posts that fencing against bigger, older kids- provided he is physically capable- will make him improve dramatically. But I don't think this applies, at all, to a 6 yr old beginner. And it is different for boys than girls, especially when you have teenage boys vs. a prepubescent pre-teen or younger. Wherever he goes for lessons his instruction, until he learns enough skills, should be age appropriate and fun. I have video of my son getting an individual lesson when he was 7 or 8 where his coach is on one knee. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for your David to slay those teenage Goliaths.

As far as equipment, I agree with others, your son IS a beginner. You bought him the right stuff. At 6, simply tell him everyone under 10 is categorized as a beginner.

Another unsolicited opinion is that as your son progresses, I personally would not buy gear that is way, way too big in anticipation of growth. I see some kids that have lames so large, it will go dead before they outgrow it. Get equipment bigger, but not so large that he looks ridiculous or, more importantly, it is unsafe. Look good, feel good, do good. Concede to the fact if he doesn't burn it out he can donate it to his club when he outgrows it.

One other thing: When he starts actually competing, especially if he eventually "fences up", get the best mask and the best plastron/underarm protector you can afford. Those big teenage boys hit hard...

[Mo]

Originally Posted by fencerwallet

I apologize in advance, and not to be glib, but we're talking about a 6 year old. I agree with other posts that fencing against bigger, older kids- provided he is physically capable- will make him improve dramatically. But I don't think this applies, at all, to a 6 yr old beginner. And it is different for boys than girls, especially when you have teenage boys vs. a prepubescent pre-teen or younger. Wherever he goes for lessons his instruction, until he learns enough skills, should be age appropriate and fun.

Instead of fun, think engaging, captivating, firmly holding his interest.
Age appropriate? Mental age of physical age? There can be a huge difference.

I have video of my son getting an individual lesson when he was 7 or 8 where his coach is on one knee. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for your David to slay those teenage Goliaths.

[i]I find this condescending to a kid. There is no need for a coach to be on his knees. He is not some simple minded novelty, he is a child with a passion. FW I would have spoken sternly to that coach{/I}


One other thing: When he starts actually competing, especially if he eventually "fences up", get the best mask and the best plastron/underarm protector you can afford. Those big teenage boys hit hard...

I've been in clubs where there are younger kids who can fence in slightly higher age groups. If the kids, male or female are intentionally hitting hard, it is the responsibility of the coach to tell them to cut the crap. Unfortunately, many of them won't.

I sewed strips of neophrene between the lining and outside of my daughter's fencing jacket. Make sure to protect that elbow. It was kind of fun seeing my daughter's particular bully wonder why she wasn't hurting her anymore.

It would have been better if the club handled it but they didn't. Now she extracts her own forms of retaliation all done in the manner of good sportsmanship. Success is the best revenge. She also calls the other kids on unsportsman like conduct because she is one of the oldest in the club. She has learned from her issues and tries to help the younger kids keep that stuff from happening to them.

[fatfencer]

I wish coaching in this country was as regulated as teaching. This thread started because someone who probably, by the sounds of it, shouldn't be coaching.

He said something very asinine. Fencing is still such a rare sport and sometimes one has to grin and bear it. The alternative may be a club thats legitimately too far away.

Children, especially young boys, are very tender spirited and are often not as resilient as girls can be at that age. I'm glad he stuck with it. It's a shame he had to be introduced to concepts like mental toughness and being thick skinned at such a young age and in such a poor, negative way.

I definitely sympathize with the situation. I hope you find a better coach for your son.. or that your son's coach becomes a better one quickly.

Fatfencer

PS: I'm sure theres lots of f-netters who'd love to give this coach a stern talking to.

[Nicksmom]

WOW..You all are so insightful. Nick is big for his age and alot of people (including his own Grandparents ) forget that he is still only 6 years old, but I believe that he is an "old soul". He came to me and asked for fencing lessons, when his little friends were going off to t-ball or soccer. (just like his sister asking for Irish Dance instead of Ballet) Oh, independant thinkers. In hind sight I should have checked out the instructors for this class a bit, no a lot better. It looks like most of them, there are three that rotate, are college kids. They spent more time yesterday looking at one of their new epee, anda trying to figure out how to wire it instead of watching the class do their foot work in warm ups. Live and learn. I think I take the instruction or lack there of harder than him. He was all smiles, and sweat when he came out of class yesterday.
Here's a question for you all to ponder ....have any of you heard of "bunny fencing" it's where balloons are attached to the top of the mask and the kids try to pop the balloons. Would that be a helpful practice device? (No they don't do it in his class, I saw it somewhere).

[sleepyweasle]

Originally Posted by Nicksmom

WOW..You all are so insightful. Nick is big for his age and alot of people (including his own Grandparents ) forget that he is still only 6 years old, but I believe that he is an "old soul". He came to me and asked for fencing lessons, when his little friends were going off to t-ball or soccer. (just like his sister asking for Irish Dance instead of Ballet) Oh, independant thinkers. In hind sight I should have checked out the instructors for this class a bit, no a lot better. It looks like most of them, there are three that rotate, are college kids. They spent more time yesterday looking at one of their new epee, anda trying to figure out how to wire it instead of watching the class do their foot work in warm ups. Live and learn. I think I take the instruction or lack there of harder than him. He was all smiles, and sweat when he came out of class yesterday.
Here's a question for you all to ponder ....have any of you heard of "bunny fencing" it's where balloons are attached to the top of the mask and the kids try to pop the balloons. Would that be a helpful practice device? (No they don't do it in his class, I saw it somewhere).

Wow - it sounds like you have a lot more to worry about than just insensitive comments from Nick's coaches. If Nick is really one of the 1-2% of kids who is "born to fence" you should really look into better coaching or he is not going to benefit from this class at all. He should be learning the basics correctly and be fencing other people who have learned (or are learning) correct technique or he is going to fall into some very bad habits immediately. If he really wants to learn to fence - forget about this class and find him a coach who really knows his/her stuff and wants to teach him to fence correctly. Hitting people with swords is fun but without proper technique and without other people who have proper technique to bout against, it will be difficult for Nick to progress.

[KidLazy]

Sorry for the threaddrift

Originally Posted by 4qtrs

Tricky, Very Tricky!

Yes... Epee.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program...