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Thread: Marry moi?

  1. 06-19-2007 12:57 PM #1
    the maple epee
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    Marry moi?

    Hey, I'm kinda bored here. Anybody care to marry me?
    List yer qualifications, and the winner (announced by me) will be the proud new wife of an oh-so-sexay Maple!
    WHOO HOO!

    Begin.
    Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees
    U.S. OUT OF VERMONT
    More Cowbell
  2. 06-19-2007 04:08 PM #2
    Black Jeebus
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    Looks you're going to be sad and lonely...
    Hello.
  3. 06-19-2007 04:49 PM #3
    pokey
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    That's pretty rough that you've got precisely zero takers (and two snarkers from the peanut gallery) so far. Someone toss him a sympathy application or something.
  4. 06-19-2007 05:04 PM #4
    wahrman
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    The first problem I see is:

    Anybody care to marry me?
    Be assertive. Tell them why they want to marry you.

    Think of the scene from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" where Damone is instructing Rat on how to ask out Stacey Hamilton.

    Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.
  5. 06-19-2007 05:14 PM #5
    lefty_monster
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    wow, maple! you've had three guys (and zero ladies) reply to your request. just think about it for a while......
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Founding Father of the 516,649 Post Thread.
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread29458.html
  6. 06-19-2007 05:17 PM #6
    sneakattack
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    I agree with wahrman. Who wants to marry someone who is bored already?
    +_+ I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one. +_+ --Mae West
    Slogan in avatar:
    "The fencing girl, you can surely say, has a point in her favor, anyway."
  7. 06-19-2007 08:55 PM #7
    the maple epee
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    Alright ladies. Listen up.
    Maple's an über sexy cyclist boy who likes it rough an' in da buff.
    Don't talk to Maple about being bored 'cause Maple ain't bored anymore. Reason? He just got back from an orgasmically sweet 50 mile ride to NY state this afternoon. Niiiiiice... He was also wearing his über sexy new bike jersey he just got this morning. http://www.primalwear.com/images/clo...T1J10ML_LG.gif Yeaaahhh...

    He wan'ts one o' YOU super sweet fencing ladies to be his wife.

    You know you want him.

    You may even be granted the priviledge of learning his real name.

    Maybe.



    So holla at him ladiees.

    Maple's waitin'...
    Last edited by the maple epee; 06-20-2007 at 06:47 AM.
    Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees
    U.S. OUT OF VERMONT
    More Cowbell
  8. 06-19-2007 11:46 PM #8
    Aussie_Fencer
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    I'll marry you Maple... NOT!
    "But Holmes, what about the flocking cripples"?
    (Just untill Timo gets back) http://www.fencing.net/forums/chat/flashchat.php
    The fourth musketeer!
  9. 06-20-2007 01:34 AM #9
    Rabid Monk
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    Quote Originally Posted by the maple epee View Post
    Alright ladies. Listen up.
    Maple's an über sexy biker boy who likes it rough an' in da buff.
    Don't talk to Maple about being bored 'cause Maple ain't bored anymore. Reason? He just got back from an orgasmically sweet 50 mile ride to NY state this afternoon. Niiiiiice... He was also wearing his über sexy new bike jersey he just got this morning. http://www.primalwear.com/images/clo...T1J10ML_LG.gif Yeaaahhh...

    He wan'ts one o' YOU super sweet fencing ladies to be his wife.

    You know you want him.

    You may even be granted the priviledge of learning his real name.

    Maybe.



    So holla at him ladiees.

    Maple's waitin'...
    A word of advice?
    Don't say "biker" and then throw out the bit about the admitedly cool Primal Wear stuff.

    Either sat "biker" and leave it, or else say cyclist and mention the Primal Wear, and attract cyclists women who love lycra.

    And I thought you were going to get the tux?
    Dagnabit, this means I'll have to.
    The preceding post brought to you by Rabid Monk (TM).
    Rabid Monk: informative, irreverent, interesting, random and downright odd posts, done with pride since 1983.
  10. 06-20-2007 06:49 AM #10
    the maple epee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rabid Monk View Post
    A word of advice?
    Don't say "biker" and then throw out the bit about the admitedly cool Primal Wear stuff.

    Either sat "biker" and leave it, or else say cyclist and mention the Primal Wear, and attract cyclists women who love lycra.

    And I thought you were going to get the tux?
    Dagnabit, this means I'll have to.
    Yes. Yes you will.

    Fine, I edited.




    Mmmmmmm... Lycra...
    Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees
    U.S. OUT OF VERMONT
    More Cowbell
  11. 06-20-2007 09:48 AM #11
    lefty_monster
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    Quote Originally Posted by the maple epee View Post
    Maple's an über sexy cyclist boy who likes it rough an' in da buff.
    And he shaves his legs.

    Why did you tell us that? You should have known you were going to catch h*ll for it.
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Founding Father of the 516,649 Post Thread.
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread29458.html
  12. 06-20-2007 11:03 AM #12
    the maple epee
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    Shaved legs with lots of lean muscle are sexy. You know this is true.
    Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees
    U.S. OUT OF VERMONT
    More Cowbell
  13. 06-20-2007 11:30 AM #13
    Inquartata
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    Ah, another epeeist has plunged over the sanity precipice...
    Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
  14. 06-20-2007 12:28 PM #14
    ParryRiposte
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    Why will nobody marry Maple?! I'll list my qualifications as soon as I can get out of school...
  15. 06-20-2007 12:59 PM #15
    pokey
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    Quote Originally Posted by ParryRiposte View Post
    Why will nobody marry Maple?! I'll list my qualifications as soon as I can get out of school...
    Maybe because it sounds like he's already in love. Who wants to play second fiddle to Maple's bike jersey?
    Last edited by pokey; 06-20-2007 at 02:31 PM. Reason: spelling
  16. 06-20-2007 02:11 PM #16
    the maple epee
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    Quote Originally Posted by pokey View Post
    Maybe beacuse it sounds like he's already in love. Who wants to play second fiddle to Maple's bike jersey?
    Ménage a trois...
    Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees
    U.S. OUT OF VERMONT
    More Cowbell
  17. 06-20-2007 03:05 PM #17
    Fencergrl
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    Alright! I'll throw in my application for being Maple's wife....

    Here's my list of experience:
    I'm not only currently a wife, but I'm an ex-wife as well. I also have a vitrual wife on f-net.... my fake lesbion love interest.... Go?Fencing?

    So as you can see I not only have had many years of being a wife, but it is something I enjoy. Ironicly enough, I hate getting married but I love being married. So naturally I couldn't resist your offer of allowing me to be a wife... yet again.

    The benefits of marrying a Canadian wife is your virtual dual citzenship. Canadian websites will now start making sense to you. Beer will taste a little stronger.... strippers will appear to have less clothing... you will rediscover your love of all things maple....

    Oh.... and I like lycra and cycling.
  18. 06-20-2007 04:04 PM #18
    ParryRiposte
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    Whoo!

    I am married lots of girls at school. If you were to marry me also, you would be surrounded by girls, who would just be all over you. With all their incomes, you could afford to buy a really nice bike AND a tux. You would be the most pimpalicious guy in the world.

    I am also closer to your age. You could marry fencergrl, who's ancient, or you could marry a young, fun and attractive girl like me! Which means that I'm not afraid to be wild and have fun, unlike some old fart who doesn't like loud music at 3 in the morning.

    Plus I'm a sabrist.
  19. 06-20-2007 05:01 PM #19
    lefty_monster
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    I guess I have to post, or risk being outdone by PR. Well, it's not being outdone by PR that I have a problem with, it's being outdone by a saberist. (Luv ya, PR!)

    Epeeist, left-handed. Need I say more?
    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

    Founding Father of the 516,649 Post Thread.
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread29458.html
  20. 06-20-2007 06:30 PM #20
    sneakattack
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    Now you're talking Maple! That's the way to sell yourself. So far you've got two epeeists and a sabreist. Sigh....but you're not attracting any foilists! Maybe you need to share your feelings a little. What are like on the inside Maple?
    +_+ I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one. +_+ --Mae West
    Slogan in avatar:
    "The fencing girl, you can surely say, has a point in her favor, anyway."
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