Learving curve identity crisis

[Bugaboo]

I'm seeking feedback of specific solutions and general sports philosophy. Feel free to chime in.

What is your personal source of competitive drive?

I'm still fairly new to fencing, with less than four years of experience.

My first year, I was simply trying to adapt and learn the basics of how to handle a weapon and what it felt like to expose myself in a public competition. I competed against my ignorance.

My second year, I started measuring my progress against other people of similar experience. At first, I competed against a fear of falling behind. By the end of the year, I was driven to prove I was better than the other guy.

My third year, I learned to set aside my imaginary personal wars with specific personalities and turned my harsh critical voice entirely against myself. When I lost a touch, for example, the internal comment changed from, "Darn, that guy is much better," to "Sheesh, I screwed up that last exchange pretty badly."

I've only recently started wrangling that self-destructive demon under control so I can stop picking apart my ego and applying negativity to everything try to accomplish.

Now, though, I'm having a crisis of identity and drive. What's my goal? What do I compete against? "Being the best I can be" lacks measuring value -- until I reach it, my personal "best" is only imaginary. And I've learned that setting my sights on outcomes doesn't work. Ultimately, I'd like to immerse myself in the *process* of becoming a good fencer rather than the *goal* of winning, but I'm still stuck on anticipating marks of accomplishment.

I'm not entirely comfortable with discussing personal matters with strangers, so I probably won't post again on this thread. Your help will be appreciated, though.

[darius]

Achieving your full potential as a competitive fencer ("Be all that you can be...") is a good encompassing view. But you need something more concrete.

Being goal-oriented, setting ATTAINABLE, MEASURABLE goals for each season will help you out. Immersing yourself in the process is how you get those goals.

You have to be honest with yourself -- if you fenced well, the other guy was just better, it's OK to admit that. You can't cry over losing points in practice, even (especially) if you're fencing Josh McGuire. But you can use the negative reinforcement of getting hit to focus your attention -- they may get another touch, but don't let them get it the same way.

If, however, you "fenced like *** " (common U of Rochester phrase), you have to admit that, too. Don't let it bother you, we all have off days, but at the same time, realize it, and figure out how you're not going to do it again.

Back to the goal thing -- ultimately, you have to measure yourself against the goals that you set. If you didn't attain the goal, why not? Drill down into the single phrases of the tournament -- were there actions you got hit consistently on? Do you drop the ball when you're ahead in points? Do you freak out when you're being pushed backwards down the strip?

Find patterns -- places where there are consistent holes in your technique, and train to eliminate them. Measure your progress in practice, and at the next tournament. Repeat ad nauseum.

Also, throughout this analysis, you should be figuring out what your strengths are. Everybody has weak points, you should shore yours up so that they're solid, but once you know your strengths, work on those, too.

darius

[swordsen]

Personally my goal is rather simple. To alwasy feel as though I fenced well. (win or lose) And to make sure that no one takes me for granted on the strip. they have to fence me. Not just go through the motions while waiting for their next bout.

It also never hurts to pick one or two peopel and keep them in your sights untill you consitantly beat them. then pick tow more.

[fencingguy]

It depends on the situation. If we are talking in general I fence to reach the peak of my ability. I don't want to look back some time down the road and think that I could have done more. That drives me to train as hard as I can. On a more day to day basis I'm motivated by the enjoyment I find in practice and tournaments, by the successes I've been having and by the new oppurtunities that fencing keeps giving me. The biggest one is the success. I seem to improve by making rapid rises after being stuck on a plateau for a little while. Everything that I've been working on seems to fall together at a tournament and then I never go back down. The last plateau lasted for about two years, but the following peak was totally worth the struggle and perseverance.

[Rapier9mm]

my philosophy-

if it is epee, i think as though it is real dueling & try not to get hit at all [not that i fence epee much]
foil, well just make myself difficult to hit & try to get the hit.
sabre, hit the other guy as quickly as possible. lol

[Zelda]

Ok, this helps me. I keep a journal of all my competitive bouts. Each competiton has a page, and I write down my pool scores, and any DE scores I may have and who I got them against. Looking back I'm slowly improving. I just gotta forget who the people are and fence the actions.:-P

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I need 3 things in life...
my foil, my teddy bear and my sanity
The sanity is AWOL and missing in action.

[Lumberg]

What you need is weekly fencing lessons from a stern coach. He or she will be able to train you to the next level of fencing so all the negative voices will come from an actual human being rather than an imaginary demon.
Best of luck.

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Lumberg.
"...yeah...did you get the memo about the TPS reports?"

[fencingguy]

I disagree. If you are already having self doubts and berating yourself, a stern coach really doesn't help the situation. It only reinforces the feelings you're already having. I'm speaking from my own experience here, so this may be unique to me, but I needed to find a coach who was much more positive and upbeat because it helped me to not feel like I had to yell at myself all the time. The most important part in changing your mental attitude is yourself though. You need to congratulate yourself on the good actions you do, and be happy with the lucky touches you get rather than yell at yourself when you mess up. You have to do it consciously for a while, but eventually you'll find yourself being much more positive on the strip than you were before which in turn will help your fencing.