Stupid Contest

[Fencergrl]

Rules are simple....

We've all done dumb things from time to time. Here's your chance to talk about them in a public forum for rep points.

So... post your stories of stupid or generally embarrassing behavior and the funniest ones will get some rep from moi.

[Fencergrl]

To get the ball rolling.... I put toothpaste on my electric toothbrush. I went to turn it on... nothing.

Curious as to what's wrong, I brought it up to my face then pushed the button... spraying toothpaste all over my face.

[BrianH]

Okay FG, I'll enter your Stupid Contest.

When I was first married, I decided to wax my wife's car on a sunny day. It went all right until I mixed up the beer I had in one hand with the liquid Turtle Wax in the other. I didn't pour the beer on the car, but I did take a swig of the wax.

[GuitarKid]

In my bathroom we have hand soap and an anti bacterial gel (with alcohol) I went to go wash my face with the soap but got the anti bacterial. i literally screamed from the sudden pain in my eyes, pretty fun now that i look at it.

The other day in school (teenager FTW) i was talking to this really pretty girl and walked into a pole which somehow undid my belt and made my pants fall, i fell on my butt with my glasses broken and my pants down. Woot!

[erooMynohtnA]

I like spicy foods. I honestly enjoy the heat. I'm not the guy who likes to look tough and eat hot wings just to pretend like they don't phase me. My roommate, on the other hand, doesn't really like spicy food, but pretends like he does.

In order to one up my Savina habanero hot sauce, he ordered his own even hotter sauce. It was rated at 2 million Scovilles (compared to the 5,000 that Tobasco rates). The day he got it I tried one small drop and immediately teared up and started coughing. It was so hot, my ears burned. I drank some milk, but the burn lingered for about five minutes. It was way too hot for me.

Later that night I was eating bacon and I had a few hard ciders. I was thinking to myself that the hot sauce wasn't really that hot. Besides, I had been eating bacon and drinking, and lipids and alcohol both nuetralize capsacin, the chemical that makes peppers spicy. Fueled by alcohol and shame, I stared down the bottle. I opened it up, put three drops on my right palm, and licked them off. My throat closed up, I started choking, I couldn't see. I stumbled my way to the refrigerator and started drinking milk. It hardly helped. I tried eating bread, but that didn't make a difference. I must have drank a half gallon of milk in 20 minutes. Finally, the burn subsided.

Relieved, I sat down at my computer and slouched in my chair. I ran my hand through my hair and rubbed my eye with my right palm. As my eye slowly began to hurt, I wondered if it had been the hot sauce. Just to check, I rubbed my left eye as well.

I couldn't even open my eyes for at least ten minutes.

[Rabid Monk]

I had had my 1999 K2 Razorback RS stolen from inside the duplex I lived in at the time.
That's a mountain bike which was worth $1500 CDN when I bought it in 2000 (not used, just demo'd).

Anyway, I replaced it with a new (2002) Devinci Desperado, worth $2500.

Both these were absolutely stellar mountain bikes.
I had the Devinci for one summer.

The following April, I was riding around enjoying the warm weather.
I met up with another cyclst and tooled around with him a bit.
We stopped for a break in a parking lot. There, some kid sitting on the patio starting talking to us about our bikes. He then asked if he could take mine on a test ride. Alarms had been going off in my head for awhile no, so I resisted.
He wheedled and whined, convinced the other guy I was with to let him try out his bike.
Eventually, he started taking my refusal as an insult. Unfortunately, I'm he kind of person who does not like seeing others upset. It bothers me. A lot.
SO after much more whining and pleading, I aquiesced, and allowed him to test out my bike only in the parking lot where I could see him!
Needless to say, he took off, with one final look over his shoulder.
As soon as he rounded the corned out of my sight, I was chasing him.

But me on foot in shoes designed for clipless pedals (i.e. stiff soled with a metal cleat in the ball of the foot) was no match for him trying to pedal tiny clipless pedals on a rather high-end mountain bike.
He was gone.

I borrowed the others guys cell phone to call the police, and his bike to hunt.

I never found my poor Devinci.

I've sinced replaced it with a used year 2000 trek STP 400, which was top of the line when new, and is still, 7 years after being built, still heads and shoulders above anything costing less than $2000.

But I do not, under any circustances, let anybody else ride my bike. Not even friends. I don't think I can stand the sight of someone else on my bike.
I get called various names for my stubborn refusal, but I've learned a hard lesson.
In fact, my bike hardly ever leaves my side or sight when I'm riding it. Even to the point of bringing it into the port-a-potty with me. The only exception is an area at the Forks they sometimes have where you can pay to drop your bike for a while, with bike-shop employees there gurading it.

It stands out as one of the worst days of my life, watching my bike round the corner and having that awful feeling of knowing it's not coming back, and that it is entirely your fault.

So how's that for stupid and embarrasing?

[the maple epee]

Oh god... I can't even imagine what that must've been like. You have my sympathy. Of course you'd have more of my sympathy if it had been a
road bike, say, a nice $10,000 Merlin Cielo, but...

[Inquartata]

I fenced epee once.

[latenight]

I fenced epee once.

Yeah, well I used to BE a foil fencer, and a post still exists on this site that states so......guess I should edit that.

[pokey]

I've got two, but they sound tame compared to the previous posters. But that's what I get for being late to the party.

When I was younger, I was riding my bike around town. I saw a really cute woman. Naturally I turned my head to follow her instead of watching the rode, and promptly rode into traffic. Car screeched to a halt and barely missed me, and I ended up crashing head-on into a light post at the intersection with enough force to bend the rim on my front wheel a good 45 degrees. Oh, and toss me off the bike unceremoniously. I don't think she ever looked back at me.

The other was a couple years ago. I was out on a business lunch with some of our interns and coworkers at a place with various bottled hot sauces. I was in the middle of a conversation when I just grabbed a bottle of hot sauce and started shaking it into my little cup of gumbo. Conversation abruptly ceased around me. I looked down and realized that 1) not all hot sauce bottles have the drip stopper lid that Tabasco bottles do, and 2) I just emptied 2/3 of a bottle of hot sauce into my cup of gumbo. I ate it anyway, mostly because one of the women at the table said something sarcastic like "good job, hawkeye." As I recall, I didn't taste the rest of my lunch, or dinner that night either.

[the maple epee]

My cousin was on a fencing road trip once where the team had dinner at a sushi place. On of my cuz's teammates was macho/stupid/drunk enough to boast about how people who wouldn't eat a lot of wasabi were pussies. He proceeded to make his point clear by eating a full tablespoon of wasabi. The heat was so great that he promtly threw up and passed out.

Not something I've done but I thought It was good.

[RebelFencer]

I dated a sabre fencer.

[pokey]

He proceeded to make his point clear by eating a full tablespoon of wasabi. The heat was so great that he promtly threw up and passed out.

What he should've done is just swallow it straight down without chewing or tasting it.

Great way to win $10 bets from your friends who dare you to eat marble sized chunks of wasabi.

[Fencergrl]

So far, erooMynohtnA made me laugh out loud... so rep for him. I also gave rep to Brian as he was the first to post and it sounded like something I would do.

Although, I'm embarrassed to admit GuitarKid's story about walking in a post is all too familiar. I get really clutzy around guys I like and tend to do things like that... The pants falling down bit sounded a bit too far fetched however....

Keep your stories coming... I'll keep handing out rep for the ones I like.

[restlesscheese]

This post, and me thinking my other post disappeared. Dumb! Dumb!

[seven6ty]

I have contacts, and for a while I was having to use eyedrops frequently because my contacts were getting old and scratchy. I had also been recently having problems with my ears, so I had some ear wax remover, ya know, the stuff that is designed to liquify and cut through all the waxy build up in your ears, ya know? Sexy, I know! So anyways, I never really realized how much one of those bottle of ear wax drops looks like a bottle of eye drops, until...

Yes, you guessed it, I squeezed a big drop of that thick, slimey ear wax acidic crap right straight into my eyes. Hahaha, I'm probably lucky to even be seeing anything at all still.

[glowstix]

actually approached a chick while she was with her friends..needless to say i learned the hard way to never do that again..

[seven6ty]

Details!

[Rick Shellhouse]

Stupid stories...those I have plenty of.....sometimes I am surprised Im still alive...

14 years old and we lived on a lake...in the middle of nowhere....there was no trash pickup at the house but a community dumpster so as a result most people burnt what trash could be to keep the trips to teh dumpster (bout 3 miles) to a minimum...

Well it was my job to burn the trash...and I forgot.....it RAINED...I now had a 55 gallon drum of half wet trash...

Terrified my mom would go ballastic....I went to the shed and got a quart jar about 3/4 way full of.....yup you guessed it....gasoline...

I pour it into the drum kicking teh drum to get the gas to "soak" in then reaching into my back pocket pull out the box of matches....


Anyone see where this is going?


All proud of myself for thinking of this I light the match...and lean over and flick it into the barrel. The resulting pillar of flame singed off my eyebrows....the front of my hair...my eyelashes...and was seen on by folks on teh other side of the lake....

Which led to my first 3/4 " flattop haircut...

more to come later...

R

[PeterGustafsson]

Hi!


I was maybe 10, and my younger brother 8 or so. My family was out camping, and the campingsite was situated at a river. We had arrived there lated in the evening, so then we were put to bed promptly. In the morning afterwards, we went up and started exploring our surroundings. We found a raft on the river shore, and hopped on board. Then we found out that we could push around the raft by hopping around on it.

Fairly quickly, we were 10-20 m out into the river (which was flowing at snail´s pace, and had inch-high waves) and were scared. Then we started yelling, and it just so happened that one other camper had his kayak with him. He paddled out and rescued us, and got 50 Sw.Kr (about 10$) from my dad. That was in the middle of the 70ies, so it was easy money for him. I felt quite dumb after getting hauled back to shore.


Have a nice time!

Peter Gustafsson