Funny or Unique Fencing Stories

[darius]

Now that would have been the killer time to fleche...

darius

[kro]

I was at a local tournament and I was starting my first Epee bout. I went over to the reel and started to hook up with out looking while I was talking to the director. There were 4 other fencer sitting behind me WATCHING as I hooked the WEAPON end of the cord to the reel and then to my jacket, while the REEL connector just hung there. When I went to move my arm to connect to the weapon it would not move. I had to have the director come over and unhook me. The 4 fencers just laughed the rest of the bout. Not one of them made a move to stop me. They just let me go.

It was pretty funny though.

kro

[Clean Touch]

Oh, man! I haven't told this story in a while...

Back in about 1995 (I think) I was at an open tournament in Sonoma, CA and the final bout came down to two fencers, Chaz and Ted (boyfriend and girlfriend, since married but at the time EVERYONE was rolling their eyes at this "final match".)

Anyway, Ted had been fencing so hard that his sweat had bled through his uniform and into his lame, and the two were fencing on an older machine built from transistors, resistors and such so it used a little more electric current than the "modern" digital jobs. Every time Chaz touched Ted the electric current would zap Ted and he would cringe from the electic shock, much to Chaz's advantage in the bout. ( ZZzzt! "OW!" "Halt! Touch right, fencers ready?" )

Then a bad spot showed up on Ted's lame, so they tried to test it by using Chaz's foil to register a touch on the suspect area. Ted kept backing away exclaiming "ow! OW! Cut it out! ouch! That hurts!" while the onlookers hooted and jeered, hollering "C'mon, Ted! TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!"

Needless to say Chaz won the bout.
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Est-ce que l'attaque bon? Mais Oui!!

[This message has been edited by Clean Touch (edited 10-11-2000).]

[Gav]

A few years back I was sharing a flat with an old friend of mine. We were both out drinking and he jokingly challenged me to duel. We were not really intending to kill each other just have a bash with a couple of epee's in the old town in Edinburgh (very scenic if you haven't seen it!).

By the time I got there I was pretty drunk (I had been drinking since 6pm - we met up at 3am). In fact I was so drunk I could hardly stand. We had attracted quite a crowd. I staggered up and was promptly skewered several times! (for those you have seen highlander imagine the duel on Boston common )

There are still some highly embarrassing photo's of me after I passed out floating about somewhere.

Never again

[This message has been edited by Gav (edited 10-19-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Gav (edited 10-19-2000).]

[HilandDoug]

Gav, I can relate. I'm updating my web page soon, and i'm going to include some pics of me and a friend fencing at some castles in England. We had quite a few pints before the pictures were taken.

[SteveMcDonough]

HAaaaaaaahahahahahaAAAA!
Love the stories, guys! Specially sabreuse's one with the lefty thing!

Anyway.. I don't think my story can really top any of the above!

Last week, I was on the hunt for a mask. (Club ones don't smell too fresh)and went to a VAST sports shop, with kick boxing stuff, weights, and other stuff surrounding a sign saying "All Sports Catered For" in the window. "Good Bet" i thought and went inside. After i explained what i wanted, the assistant, an overweight( ), hairy geezer informed me that they didn't stock, but there is a large fencing suppliers across the road and to the right.

Oh yes. I found it.

This shop stocked everything from sledgehammers to metposts to creosote to larch-lap panels to wire and posts!

I was too embarrased to return to the sports shop and voice my opinions..

Anyone else been in that position?

Toushay!! haha!

[SteveMcDonough]

I think the funniest thing I ever saw was two blokes 'fencing'...

They started out fencing a serious bout, but after 3-4 mins, they started calling up all the old cliches:
"there can be only ONE!" replied by
"You're not my father"

This was followed by one of them jumping onto the bench on the side, and screaming "I am here, and I have come for you, D'artagnon!"

After about 10 minutes of this, nearly everybody in the salle was either creased with laughter or already passed out!

I can't really put into words how funny it was, you had to be there!

I guess it's things like that make fencing much more fun than any other sport, that you can have a laugh.

(I was having a hell of a time viewing this bulletin board... Very slow... any suggestions?)

[antares]

When our school started a fencing club, we all had to buy our own equipment. I walked into the "business counselor"'s office. (She is in charge of all the school's funds...) I prompty gave her my check. I said, this is for fencing. She looked at me in surprise and said..."which one did you break, and how in the world did you do it, Did you run over one with your car?". I said in puzzlement, "what do you mean?", then tried hard not to laugh. "No...the sport, I didn't break any fences!". We both laughed. Evidentally she wasn't informed of such things. "I'm just an oklahoma farm girl. Fences are only referred to as one thing." Gosh, it was funny!

[Gill]

Hey, Anyone seen Arcon?

[Moonitic]

I've notice people either know what you say by "fencing" or they have absolutely NO clue whatsoever.

If their eyes glaze over & mouths hang open, chances are, they're thinking "building barriers for property" as opposed to from "swordfighting."

I laid on the table recently to get a bone scan, & the tech asked how I might have received a stress fracture. I told her "fencing"...she thought I installed fences for a living, & when she found out I did the "swordfighting" thing, she said, "Oh! I've never heard of that before!" (????)

[ladybug]

Along the same line, Moonitic, I went to the doctor when I sprained my ankle awhile back. The nurse asked the usual "how did this happen" question and I repllied "I fell over while fencing." When the doctor came in he looked at my chart and said "So, I see you fell off a fence." The really sad part is I let it go because I was NOT in the mood to go into detail.

[Mengarath the Dragon]

Whenever I tell people I fence, or write about it (I'm quite a letter and email freak) I always include in parenthasis (with swords, not post hole diggers). Some people still don't get it and have to ask.

Had a weird incident yesterday. There's a guy in my club who's much better than I am and also loves to tease me and a couple of the other girls (not about our ability, just likes to bug us about everything). One of the things he does when we fence because he knows it drives me nuts is to grab or trap my blade, especially with one of his fingers or thumb when it gets to close to his bellguard. (he's bigger and stronger than me) Then he pretends nothing happened, all inocent like, after he scored the point of course. So I have started to play the game his way. Yesterday we ended up standing their, each holding the other's blade in the off hand away from their body. Because he's stronger though, he had the advantage and was forcing his blade toward me. (okay, so it's not fencing, but we have a lot of fun) I couldn't think of what else to do, because I wasn't about to let go, so I picked up my right foot and put it square in the center of his stomach (my chest hight) and pushed. Unfortunately, I didn't knock him over or get him to let go, (he's much bigger) but you should have seen the look on his face. I don't know why he looked so disbelieving, it was no dirtier than half the stuff he does. I have a feeling, he and I will have many more confrontations until I either get as good as him, or I just plain old run out of patience and kill him.

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Mengarath the Dragon

Life is to short to be ordinary.

[robbie]

Arcon's taken a short time off ... he did mention in a post he would check his private messages from time to time.

[Gill]

TY robbie. Hope hes ok

[alessandro]

I have lots of funny fencing stories, but today i'll tell you the most painfull one.

I was once on the semi-final of the nationa championship against this guy who had a very rude/particular style, so after i got like 3 touches in my legs intentionally i got pissed of and i lunged him to the balls, i think that pissed a lot of that guy, so when the referee said "fence" he fleched me so close that the blade broke, but i didn't realized it, he didn't realized it and don't even the referee realized it.
So the refere said "fence" and he lunged to my arm with his broken sharp blade and it went all the way thru my arm, so i started bleeding, they called the doctor but it didn't hurt me until the doctor said "look over there, it's king-kong" and when i looked to that direction, he pulled the blade out of my arm and men! OUCH!!! that really really really hurts.

[Shadow Fencer]

My story isn't as painful as Alessandro's, but it triggered a memory. I was a beginner fencer in high school. The action was so fast- my opponent's blade broke either when she beat against my blade or during my parry-anyway the final action is that her broken blade landed in my right thigh. Guess my parry 8 wasn't fast enough. I just recall seeing blood! Fencing in shorts was "normal". Anyway, I've never fenced in shorts again. The broken blade only punctured me about 1/2 inch, but I was limping for a few weeks! I think the tetanus injection hurt more. I was a senior in high school, so it put a crimp on my senior type activities for a few weeks. Wow, that happened 27 years ago!!!!

[Clean Touch]

Originally posted by Shadow Fencer:
Anyway, I've never fenced in shorts again.

Yeah, over half the people in my salle here in Sacramento, CA fence in shorts and I just shake my head. My words have long fallen on deaf ears so I just stopped mentioning it anymore. It's like a car accident: it only takes one stupid guy behing the wheel/guard...

[sabreuse]

Uh oh--

I sense a reprise of the cup versus no-cup argument coming on....

[Cyranox11]

Heyta All.
I live in South Africa, where it gets HOT and we fence throughout the summer! Anyway I wear shorts to training (our coach despairs but its not his salle so tough). I have sustained various cuts, bruises and abrasions to my legs BUT the worst ones were either in competitions (wearing proper breaches) or when wearing track-suit pants during training! So I will continue to wear shorts (and a cup: we call it a box in SA). It also helps that I am a foilist who dabbles in sabre and avoids epee like the plague!

[HilandDoug]

Back in 1984, when I was fencing sabre for Michigan State University, I twisted my ankle pretty bad and got sent to the athletic trainer’s office for treatment. I sat on one of the tables in the big examination room, and with a quick glimpse around, noticed I was the only non-football player there. All the players knew each other and were talking loudly and boasting about this or that, making me feel like an outsider. In walked an extremely large defensive end (who went on to the pros), who, seeing little me sitting on the table, decided he’d plop himself on the same table I was sitting on, only right behind me. He landed with a thud, and scooted back just far enough to bump me, back to back. I was almost knocked off the table. He proceeded to join the rest of the guys in conversation, gesticulating wildly, and constantly throwing his elbows into my ribs and back. Every time I tried to shift away to avoid his elbows, he shifted himself to be able to continue his intimidation. He seemed oblivious to me, but he had to know I was there, because he kept banging me. Forty minutes later, I was finally checked and released. Two days later, I was back for more, and guess who came into the trainer’s room and sat down right next to me? The same big, hulking guy. It was then I realized how HUGE this guy was. I’m 5ft. 10, and this guy had at least a foot on me, and 150lbs to boot. And, of course, since he was next to me, kept banging me with his elbows as he scratched himself or gesticulated. At one point, he actually looked at me and said, “Hi. What are you here for?” “Twisted my ankle,” I said. “What do you play?” he asked. “I am a fencer,” I said. That brought howls of laughter from him as he bellowed for all to hear, “You guys wear those little fag white outfits, dontcha?” “Actually, the fag outfits are pink. I wear white,” I said. He thought that was pretty funny, but ignored me after that except to continue to prod me with his elbows, or shift over to bump me with his body. I got treated and released. A week later, my ankle was feeling much better. As I was leaving the locker room after suiting up, I started practicing chest cuts against the wall on my right, spinning my sabre around and cutting the wall with the outside edge of the blade. This was a favorite thing to do, because it would send sparks flying from the end of my weapon, and I thought that was pretty cool. Well, just before I turn the corner in the hallway at Jenison Fieldhouse, guess who comes around the corner with his buddy? You guessed it, Mr. Big Football Player With the Flying Elbows. The timing was perfect: just as my sabre scraped the wall and sent out a shower of sparks, they came around the corner, saw the sparks flying through the air, and stopped dead in their tracks. “Whoa!” hollered Mr. Big. “Do you actually FIGHT with that thing?” he asked, pointing to my sabre. “Well, yeah, that’s what fencing is,” I said. It was then that I noticed he and his pal were wide eyed with amazement, staring at my weapon and me. “Does it hurt?” he asked. I lied. “Bet your *** it does. Let me show you,” I said, and pointed my sabre at him. He jumped back so fast he almost knocked his buddy down. “No, that’s OK, I trust you,” he said. I left them in the locker room, and went upstairs to practice. The next week, I went for my last treatment. Guess who sat next to me and became my best friend? You guessed it, Mr. Big. “Hey, guys, this guy SWORDFIGHTS! Is that cool, or what?” Needless to say, he kept his elbows to himself.