Competing, Coaching, Fatigue, and Burnout

[qatet]

I know that I'm not the only one on here who coaches four, five, six days a week, and still trains and competes. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who is exhausted and somewhat uninspired at the end of it.

How do the rest of you deal with it? The physical fatigue of standing on your feet for five or six hours and then training, or training and then coaching for half a day. The mental exhaustion from constantly working the same ideas. The emotional exhaustion of psyching up a room full of kids, then going and doing it again and again (particularly fun when you've been up writing a dissertation until 2 AM!) How do you stay fresh for your own training and competing when your mind, body, and spirit are consistently immersed in coaching? How do you stay ready to coach when your interest in your own competing flags?

[Allen Evans]

It's simple.

We don't.

If you are working at your own game, coaching, and working a full time day job you will burn out. It may not happen the first year of a schedule like this. It may take two, three or more years. But eventually something will give.

There are several ways to delay the this. I ALWAYS take the month of July off, after Nationals. I usually only coach part time in August. I try to take some time off during the holidays, and last year, I took a trip early in the spring to Costa Rica, where I was away from work and fencing for ten days. I use to feel guilty about taking these breaks, but I have quickly come to understand that I won't be a good coach/employee/husband without them.

And on my days off, I try to make sure that I spend at least half of it doing something I really like to do: like read or watch bad science fiction on television.

I try to make sure that my source of day income is relatively stress free (one of the reasons I'm going to be leaving my current position this summer). My emphasis is on being a fencer, so I'm not worried about a career path, fortuantely. I just need something that pays my (non-fencing) bills.

And finally, when I am buried, and feeling the pressure, I try to make sure I avoid any situations or people which stress me out even more. If I'm having a bad month, I try to make sure I touch base frequently with the people who energize me and give me good advice, like my old coach, Jim Denton, or the fencers that I know, like Delia Turner, and Joe Hoffman.

So far, after nearly five years of essentially working two jobs keeping my life in order, I haven't killed or maimed anyone.

Everyone has warning signs that they've pushed themselves too far. When these crop up for me (the first one is always short term memory problems). I make sure and schedule a break as soon as I can.

AE

[jBirch]

To add to Allen's brilliant post, the other thing is that some of us sacrifice one of the "juggler's balls". (What a lovely entendre, eh?) Given Work + Spouse + Training + Coaching most coaches pick three, let the fourth go and live happily ever after.

It's one of the reasons why few good coaches compete. It's also one of the reasons why there are few good coaches.

Hope this helps.

James.

[qatet]

And these things are very true, but I'm also aware of how much I still need to learn as a competitor to be an effective coach. I was foolish enough to stop training in 9th grade (WHY???????), and the start again in college, but with a (sorry, MP, annacattiva, and sabrebelle if you're reading this) pretty crappy college club. I love competing for itself, but am aware that my main reason for doing it is to develop as a coach.

Yes, the only real option is paring down, but what do you do when you run out of ways to pare down? Or when you can't pare down just yet? A couple of years ago, I made myself a promise that I will work through to the end of my PhD, and then make a choice between academia and coaching. That coaching is a vastly more exciting option for me has become apparent in the time since then, and I think I know what I'll choose when I do finish my dissertation. I look forward to that day. (At the moment my exciting social life consists of weight-lifting dates with a friend, going to tournaments (social as long as I'm not simultaneously managing and reffing them!), and teasing high-schoolers at practice. Very healthy! Don't tell!)

So does anybody have suggestions for staving off the exhaustion - physical or mental - in the meantime? I know that there's light at the end of the tunnel, but reaching it, man, that's a kicker! Allen, maybe the analogy for you would be when you have a vacation planned, but it's two months from now. How would you keep yourself focussed in the meantime? How would you stretch your current resources to make it work until then?

[jBirch]

Sleep.

Lots and lots and lots of sleep.

When you're not studying,coaching or learning. Sleep. Don't go out with the guys. Just sleep.

Or willpower. That works too. You've already made part of the transition (this is going to suck) so just stick with it and live for the future. It sucks. Deal with it.

As to making it feel better while still operating "at the red line": take a break every few minutes to just look around and see the life you're choosing. The trick is to slow down just a bit before getting ramped up again and that gives you enough energy to keep going.

You've also got to accept what you've chosen and that if you're uninspired, maybe to be a better coach you need to sit back and BECOME inspired. We've all hit that point in coaching where we believe we suck juggler's balls and could cheerfully bludgeon every student into paste. The trick is to find the fun again and for each of us, it's a different thing. For me, I get suited up once a week and fence with my students. Yeah, most of the time I trounce them. But, the blighters are getting better and my sneaky tricks are losing out to their better training more and more often. I've even got a couple that are regularly trouncing me. Man I hate that. *grin* They need a crappier coach.

That, to me, is the fun. Well, that and doing sabre yells in epee.

The other trick is to change it up a bit. If you're training in foil, switch to sabre, or epee. Have a debate class where each student must act out the attacks, thrusts and counter-attacks of some interesting political debate. Fence outside. Invite some kendoists over for the classic "my sword is better then your sword" thing. Have a conditioning class or a meditation/visualisation class. Or a cooking class (how to eat like a fencer). Or a field-trip to the museum (call first, they may let you take some of the exhibits out and wave them around).

Fencing is about more then just whacking someone with a stick. There's a whole history to explore if training is getting boring.

Finally, delegate. If you're burnt out it's because you're working too hard. Find a senior student and train them up to replace you. That's the real mark of a good coach.

Hope this helps.

James.

[Peach]

Part of what makes a coach is personality: opinionated, dominant know-it-all is a good description. Also stubbornness. Also the syndrome of getting excited when offered more responsibility. This means it is possible for them to work themselves so hard they start spinning and could be used to drill down to the Mohorovičić discontinuity.

What works for me (not very well, I admit) is to take my need for control and my ambition and apply it to a long-term avoid-burnout plan. Thus I don't referee any more, though darnit I enjoy refereeing and saying no when asked causes me physical pain. And I make it clear my coaching is strictly entry-level. Thus, as you can see, I have avoided being utterly stressed out while still enjoying myself.

Yeah, right. Scratch all of that. You have my permission to laugh at me.

I'm with jBirch. Sleep. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.

[Allen Evans]

Originally Posted by qatet

Allen, maybe the analogy for you would be when you have a vacation planned, but it's two months from now. How would you keep yourself focussed in the meantime? How would you stretch your current resources to make it work until then?

1. I start to look at what I HAVE to do...the things I can't avoid, such as the nights I need to be at club, work that has to get done (and any deadlines I have to meet).

2. I make a list in order of priority, and understand that some of those things at the bottom of the list are not going to get done (for instance, I have failed to make the spring NAC for the last three years...I just don't have the time, even though I've wanted to go each time).

3. I cut out everything else. When I was training as an athlete, coaching, and working (two jobs, one full time, one part time) I didn't see a movie for two years. I decided, at the time, that it was worth it.

4. I used most of my vacation/sick time for tournaments. I would, however, pick one day a month and call in sick to work, and use that to de-stress and do anything that was on priority list that needed attention.

Gatet, you belong to the same club as Peach, right? You don't need to post to Fencing.net to get great advice. She'll set you straight.

AE

[qatet]

Originally Posted by Allen Evans

Gatet, you belong to the same club as Peach, right? You don't need to post to Fencing.net to get great advice. She'll set you straight.

AE

I do indeed, and she's one of the people I turn to first for advice on a dizzying array of topics, but there are also very smart people here, and I'm the type who likes to get insight from as many sources as possible. Plus, there are lots of folks here who spend more time dealing with the specific stresses of coaching than Peach does. I know how she sets up her priorities, and hearing how she ponders them is invaluable for me learning how to weigh my own.

It's funny. Here I've got coaches weighing in on how to keep sane in the coaching side, but actually, I'm doing a decent job of that. I teach a huge variety of classes - different ages (youth, cadet/junior, a college club, some adult classes), different settings (elite campus, feeder satellites, private school after-school programs, adult evening education, college club), different goals and expectations (elite-track competitors, just starting not sure, can't tell right from left or foot from hand). I've been playing around with different formats - mixing group drill, group lessons, individual lessons, games, general athletic work - and that's more than enough to keep me excited about coaching. There are one or two classes that I dread, but generally I'm excited to get there and start working with the students.

On the other hand, I've been decreasingly interested in my own training since December. I did a good job of peaking for Memphis, and a decent job with Richmond. I've never fenced as poorly in my life as I fenced in Columbus. Only by dint of my associated coaching responsibilities can I force myself to go train. Only because I make money reffing and managing tournaments can I convince myself to fence in them. If I weren't giving people a ride to the CBO, there's no way I would have gone. (And that would have been a shame, because I had a blast. My only goal was to have fun, and I did.) And yet, I know that I need this as part of my coaching education. I can't just cut it out.

In a sense, then, this is a question of how to motivate an exhausted athlete. But the burn-out is different when the person in question is also a coach and can't just stop coming to fencing for a week or two. In a sense, it's easy to say that, well, of course all coaches give up competing, but that's also clearly not true. Maybe in the long run it's common, but in the short run I know many people in their 20s and 30s who are juggling the same issues that I am. Are they not as tired somehow?

Anyway, it is great to hear all the suggestions and experiences and to see what might or might not work for me, and what I'm already doing. If there's no way through but through, well, I'm every bit as stubborn as people think (plus a bit more) and I can do that. But hearing how others have padded or are padding their journey is useful.

[RITFencing]

Personally, I dealt with it by changing majors to graduate much faster, giving up engineering and making coaching my full time job. But then, I've wanted to be a full time fencing coach for a long time, and my burnout was stemming from the fact that I really, REALLY did not want to be an engineer. If your grad studies are for you, or more precisely if they are leading to something that is for you, then obviously this will not work.

[jBirch]

Originally Posted by qatet

On the other hand, I've been decreasingly interested in my own training since December.

In a sense, then, this is a question of how to motivate an exhausted athlete.

Oh. This one is easy...



ASK YOUR COACH!!

*grin*

If your coach can't keep the training interesting for you even after you've complained that you're getting burned out, then, like I would advise any other student: FIND ANOTHER COACH!

James.

[Peach]

I'll butt in again and explain that the end of graduate school, by definition, is characterized by acute burnout. If you survive, you get a degree. It takes some months to recover from defending your dissertation, and gradually after that you begin to be able to taste food, see colors, understand spoken English, train without injuring yourself, hold a job without feeling that hollow sound of echoing despair, and take some pathetic joy in your meagre life. Assuming, that is, that you did any of that before graduate school.

[riceboy]

This may or may not be helpful, but some advice from one of my maestri at San Jose State. "Give yourself a lesson" When you are giving private lessons, don't just go through the motions, make your parries good and your feints realistic. (This assumes at least a moderately skilled fencer, beginners will just get frustrated at this). You can work on your counterattacks, attacks in prep etc. This helps your student learn where they are exposing themselves (and how to counter such attacks) and at the same time works on your own timing.

I accept that this is not the only way to get better, but it can let you get some practice in and may make giving lessons a bit more relaxing. It also lets you not repeat the same godawful prompt over and over and over again.....

[oso97]

Balance is a tough thing to achieve. For me, about 4 years ago, I found myself in the tail end of an extremely rigorous PhD program, in a failing marriage, moving from the "developing" to "national" ranks of refereeing and moving into the serious realm of coaching. Within a year, I found myself divorced, "encouraged" by my committee to take a Master's degree instead and the coach of a startup club when the one that I'd been working at merged with another. Ouch.

Now, I balance my time a lot more effectively (maturity is another word for emotional bruises and learning from experience). I work in a job that while interesting and exciting when I'm there and still part of the scientific world that I love, is a >job<. It pays the bills (well, at least some of them!) and gives me the freedom and flexibility and vacation time to do what I really love - coach and referee.

Even still, I find myself going full tilt sometimes and I have to slow down. But I've found a couple of ways to help with that. One thing is that I have one night in the middle of the week that I don't do anything fencing at all. Its a complete off night. I have that night to go out to dinner with my girlfriend, maybe see a movie, take care of some housework, or just have mental downtime. Especially since I'm gone on the weekends so often refereeing and coaching at tournaments and I don't have that time to take care of the "stuff."

Seriously, learn to say "no" once in awhile. Tough I know, but neccessary!

[qatet]

Thank you all for your ideas and for sharing your experiences.

Part of it will get better when my dissertation is done. The plan, about which I am cautiously optimistic, is to finish it by the end of the calendar year. Still, that leaves me with at least eight months. On the one hand, eight months is very little, in comparison to the past five years, but on the other, man, eight frakking months! When it's done, I'll have more time off, but right now, ugh... And having that carrot in front of me means that I'm tempted to just try to work through everything now, knowing that there will be a break at the end of the year, but it also means that I have a hard time taking a day off now, when it might mean having to keep working on the degree into next year.

The dynamic at work is confused by the fact that my boss is my coach and my co-workers are my teammates. I know that they are as overworked as I am, so my slacking or saying no just leaves things in their laps. And that's okay at times, but not as a regular habit. Plus, I've become fond of paying my rent, oddly enough, and coaching and reffing make that surprisingly easier.

riceboy, your post is exactly what I picked up from Czajkowski's workshop over the summer (well, part of what I picked up), and a very good idea as I move into more individual coaching, but most of my job is a solid twenty hours a week of leading group classes - a different beastie entirely!

[tbryan]

Originally Posted by qatet

It's funny. Here I've got coaches weighing in on how to keep sane in the coaching side, but actually, I'm doing a decent job of that

Perhaps that's because there really aren't many out there who coach that much, compete actively, and have something else big going on (like finishing a PhD). And the few who are might be the exact set of people who don't have time to look at f.net.

Originally Posted by qatet

On the other hand, I've been decreasingly interested in my own training since December....And yet, I know that I need this as part of my coaching education. I can't just cut it out.

Really? Not even for a few months? Is it really going to kill you or ruin you as a coach to take one season off from serious competition? If you're enjoying the coaching so much, focus on that and let the fencing slide completely. Come in and fence, but reduce the amount of time, energy, and focus that you put into your own athletic performance. You might find that you completely lose your competitive edge for the season, but you can still go to competitions just to fence a little, have fun, and watch your students compete.

Then, when your PhD is done, you'll have more time. You can whip yourself back into shape for competing in the next season. As a bonus, these kinds of breaks from competition are sometimes followed by a real breakthrough when the fencer comes back. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's just because of the renewed pleasure and energy that these fencers bring back to their game when they can finally return.

Good luck!

[keith]

Originally Posted by tbryan

Then, when your PhD is done, you'll have more time.

This may be the funniest thing I've read in years.

As everyone has said - rank your priorities and then drop the bottom one, at least until you feel more relaxed. Just remember that enjoyment should be one of the criteria you use in the ranking. For me fencing has often ended up on the bottom, then moved up, then dropped back down.

Only other thing is to work on not being to invested in your competitive performance - try and make competition about fun not performance .

[tbryan]

Originally Posted by keith

This may be the funniest thing I've read in years.

Sure, out of context it sounds odd. Then again, in the context of this message, I thought it made sense:

Originally Posted by qatet

I made myself a promise that I will work through to the end of my PhD, and then make a choice between academia and coaching. That coaching is a vastly more exciting option for me has become apparent in the time since then, and I think I know what I'll choose when I do finish my dissertation.

That is, without the PhD in the mix, qatet will "have more time" to focus on coaching and competing.