Quirky coaching advice?

[bunbury]

I saw the post on the various versions of "good luck", and I realized that coaches have said some great things, too. Post 'em if you got 'em.

"Hey, I figured out why you aren't winning."
"Why?"
"Your head is stuck sooooooooo far up your ass, that you can't see his attacks."

[eac]

In Memphis, I was bouncing too much. My coach said something to the effect of, "You're bouncing up and down all the time, and not having good footwork when you defend! You're like a f***ing kangaroo out there!"

[Greg]

For my foil fencers who keep hitting off target. I tell them to aim for the gray area.

[oso97]

Couple of years ago at a local event, I was coaching one of my young students in the early rounds of DE's. She's just made the move up to fencing open events, and I knew she had the skill to fence well in this event. What was lacking was her ability to adapt the skills she had to the bout at hand, and pick the most appropriate tactics for the fencer she was facing (gee, if this isn't a familiar refrain of most coaches ...).

And so I was on the sidelines, a bit frustrated, because she wasn't even trying anything. What I wanted to convey was "just go TRY something different, even if you get scored against!" What came out of my mouth was "Fence Creatively!"

The coach of the opposing fencer proceeded to double over in laughter (I admit, it wasn't the most coherent of coaching advice I've ever given). But yet, somehow, that phrase made it into her skull, and she proceeded to beat the girl she was fencing by just trying different actions that we'd worked on and totally confuse her opponent who couldn't figure out the tactical pattern that was coming next. And then proceeded to run rampant through the rest of the DE table and won the event. Since then, its sort of been a catch phrase in our club... And whew do some of the boys take it literally to heart! For the girls though, it seems to get the point across. But the boys pull out all SORTS of wacky stuff.

[flyingfencer]

Let's see, after fencing very badly, my coach looked at me and said, "You very strong, you very fast, you fence very bad."

or

"That was very good, now do something different."

or a Jedi moment from a coach who wouldn't know Star Wars from star gazing

"Feel the touch. You must feel the action."

[Purple Fencer]

"Fence well.....don't suck"

pretty much all i got.

[CvilleFencer]

One of my favorite strip coaches is fond of the advice "stop sucking"... I don't process complex instructions well during the bout so things like "run away", "two parries", "take THEN go", "gotta move", "fence smarter", "stop thinking hes better than he is" and "stop trying to just be tall" all work pretty well for me.

[DangerMouse]

The only sound I want to hear from you is the pop your head makes when you pull it out of your ass!

[Rick Shellhouse]

You do realize that isnt working..it had worked the last 5 times you tried it....so I got an idea...TRY SOMETHING DIFFERNT!


R

[Peach]

"You're still fencing the last bout. This is a different opponent."

[contre-Sixte]

During the break of a foil DE bout. I was the #1 seed, but I was losing.

Coach: "He's an epee fencer.... using a french grip .... improperly. Is this how you want to go out? "

[Sciurus-Rex]

"You spent your essence last night with your wife, didn't you? (sighs deeply) I warned you not to ..."

[LUDICROUS]

Student: "I don't believe this"

Coach: "That is why you fail!"

Didn't actually happen, but that wouuld be hilarious if it did

[jon]

I haven't posted in a long time. But this is funny.

A very famous coach in the U.S. says this to a very famous fencer in the U.S. during a World Cup. " I just want you to know that everything that you are doing is wrong." And he was winning the bout.

This is other Coach goes. "What ever happens out there please don't make me look like I haven't taught you anything."