Falkland Island

[introspective]

I think it is high time the British Government return the Falkland Islands to the Argentine Government. It is so overdue I really cannot believe it. As an American, I feel it is very important for us and for our forefathers to come to grips with this idea of Imperialism and face the fact that it is for that reason, the world becomes our enemy. To become allies again with the world and bring world opinion up....give back property that belongs with other people.

Signed,
The Interloper

[brutus]

I think it is high time the British Government return the Falkland Islands to the Argentine Government. It is so overdue I really cannot believe it. As an American, I feel it is very important for us and for our forefathers to come to grips with this idea of Imperialism and face the fact that it is for that reason, the world becomes our enemy. To become allies again with the world and bring world opinion up....give back property that belongs with other people.

Signed,
The Interloper

The people who live on the island do not want to be ruled by the argentines!

plus, why should we? We fought our asses off for that island, it's ours!

But ona serious note, who are the american's to tell us that we shoudl return this and that to whoever, you don't have a very good track record of doing the right thing with other peoples countries!

Am I wrong or was you're entire country once enhabited by another people. Perhaps you should all come back to england and give america back to the native americans?

signed,
A sensible person.

[Inquartata]

Also, "return to" is inapt, since the islands did not originally belong to Argentina. That country did not have the first claim to them. If anything, they are probably a Spanish possession, Britain once having ceded them to Spain and Spain never having formally ceded them to anyone. However, possession being 9/10ths of the law, Britain has a better claim to them at present than either other party.

[pigeonmeister]

Do you know what the irony is...that we wanted rid of the Falklands in the 1970's and were going to exchange sovereignty for better relations with South America. Then the Argies invaded, and it became an issue of pride and politics to which Thatcher staked here premiership on. Having gone to all that effort, it is now politically impossible to return them. I can see independence as an option though...especially if the prospect of oil (up to 500,000 bpd) is confirmed!

I'm not sure about Argentina's claim. I don't think there was a rush by anyone to claim such a rugged landscape but I think Inq is wrong to suggest that Argentina has no claim. Even the Observer has conflicting views.

"The Falklands were seized for Britain in January 1833 during an era of dramatic colonial expansion. Captain John Onslow of HMS Clio had instructions "to exercise the rights of sovereignty" over the islands, and he ordered the Argentinian commander to haul down his flag and withdraw his forces. Settlers from Argentina were replaced by those from Britain and elsewhere, notably Gibraltar."

"Argentina's claim on the Falklands is still a good one" Richard Gott,
Observer 2nd April

Contrast with...

"The islands were so dreary that even after Europeans discovered them in the 16th century neither the English, French nor Spanish rushed to occupy them. A handful of settlers came and went but mainly the archipelago was a stop-off for ships. When the Royal Navy claimed the Falklands for Britain in 1833 the move angered Argentina but was otherwise a footnote of empire. Scottish sheep farmers were imported and eked out a lonely existence for more than a century ignored by the UK 8,000 miles away."

"The invader's gift: how occupation by Argentina created a little Britain" The Guardian 31st March

Wikipedia says...

"On 6 November 1820, Colonel David Jewett, an American sailor at the service of Buenos Aires, and captain of the frigate Heroina, raised the flag of the United Provinces of the River Plate (which later became Argentina) at Port Louis. He warned the British and American seal hunting ships present that they did not have authorization to hunt seals in the area, and then returned to Buenos Aires; the sealers ignored his warning.

Occupation began in 1826 with the foundation of a settlement and a penal colony. The settlement was destroyed by United States warships in 1831 after the Argentinian governor of the islands Luis Vernet seized U.S. seal hunting ships during a dispute over fishing rights. They left behind escaped prisoners and pirates. In November 1832, Argentina sent another governor who was killed in a mutiny. In January 1833, British forces returned, took control, repatriated the remainder of the Argentine settlement, and began to repopulate the islands with British citizens"

There's a big ho ha about the Falklands in the UK at the moment. Lots of TV coverage, films, doc's ect..

It actually a facinating place. In the 1970's it had hardly any roads, working telephones, no TV, poor electricity supply. Now it's a boom town. From just 1,800 on the eve of the invasion the population has surged to 2,955. Even more astonishing, GDP has exploded from £4m to more than £75m, giving a per capita income higher than the UK.

The transformation started with reconstruction grants and took off from 1987 after the declaration of a fisheries protection zone. Selling licences to trawlers generates up to £26m per year, a colossal income for a tiny population which has made the Falklands self-sufficient except for defence, a £100m bill still paid by London.

There is no VAT and low income tax. Most people are homeowners but fewer than a third have mortgages.

There is a dual irony: from the waters which claimed the lives of so many sailors and soldiers comes a natural bounty securing the islands' viability. From the conflict which paved the way to Thatcherism comes a cradle-to-grave welfare state to make Old Labour proud.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/falklands/...047141,00.html

[jeff]

You all let introspective troll you? Geez....

[Capt. Slo-mo]

I'm kinda digging the idea of forced repatriation of Americans to England.

Lists are being prepared, as we speak....

On the other hand, why not equip introspective and her other 11 personas with automatic weapons and Rambo-bandanas, and tell her to go liberate the islands in the name of Argentinian hegemony?

It'd make a great mini-documentary.

[brutus]

sorry in advance for a long post, but I think this is too good not to post, hehe.

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. Popular British films such as the Italian Job and the Wicker Man should never be remade.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There are other types of football such as Rugby, Aussie Rules & Gaelic football. However proper football - which will no longer be known as soccer, is the best known, most loved and most popular. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2008.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of North America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. The 4th of July is no longer a public holiday. The 2nd of November will be a new national holiday, but only in Britain. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From the 10th of November the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until the 1st of April) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

[Inquartata]

"The Falklands were seized for Britain in January 1833 during an era of dramatic colonial expansion. Captain John Onslow of HMS Clio had instructions "to exercise the rights of sovereignty" over the islands, and he ordered the Argentinian commander to haul down his flag and withdraw his forces. Settlers from Argentina were replaced by those from Britain and elsewhere, notably Gibraltar."

"Argentina's claim on the Falklands is still a good one" Richard Gott,
Observer 2nd April

All well and good, except that British possession did not begin in 1833, but rather in 1766, at which time Argentina did not exist---she did not achieve formal independence from Spain until 1816, though de facto she had then been so for 4 or 5 years. Britain formally ceded the islands to Spain in 1790 ( at which time Argentina still did not exist ).

Argentina merely pressed a claim to the islands based upon that of Spain, inasmuch as they were originally administered ( not possessed ) by the Spanish viceroyalty in Buenos Aires. How she thought that she had inherited another possession of the Spanish Crown simply because she herself was no longer one leaves me nonplussed.

You all let introspective troll you? Geez....

Any argument in a storm, my friend.

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.


7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns.

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

[Zilverzmurfen]

Thanks Brutus, that was a fantastic post!

I wish I could rep you but apparantly I need to spread rep points to others first. I'll be back!

[jeff]

Brutus :- an oldie, but a goodie.

Inq :- of course!

Capt. Slo-mo :- does that mean we have to take Madonna back? If we do, does she have to drop the phony British accent?

pigeon: Las Malvinas son Argentinas! (On alternate Wednesdays, and odd numbered Tuesdays during the winter)

[introspective]

Trolling trolling over the bounding plain. But the chat is good and does produce pretty good results once in a while. But I do feel that the Falklands should be part of the Argentine Country, it is situated right next to it -

Let's google the position of the Falkland Islands in relation to Argentina, aaaand then let's google the Falkand Islands in relations to Great Britian.

Did you know that Trolls stand on bridges and charge money for allowing people to pass by....is that the reason we call "Tolls" on bridges in the USA "Tolls" ???

[Phaeton]

You know...the US next to Canada and Mexico..maybe the US should annex them too...that or Canada take Alaska I'm still up in the air. And Spain is so close to Portugal. They don't need to be a country anyway...right? We need our "living space" don't we? That's a great excuse to invade nearby countries. All we need is assurance that international powers will practice appeasment. Stories that begin with expansion into nearby terratories always end well don't they.

[Zilverzmurfen]

But I do feel that the Falklands should be part of the Argentine Country, it is situated right next to it -

And I feel that the Swedish-Norwegian union should be re-established -- hell, their country is neighbouring ours!

I also think it's high time also that we took back Denmark and Finland, and even the Baltic posessions we once had. They're their own nations now, the buggers.

[Inquartata]

And I feel that the Swedish-Norwegian union should be re-established -- hell, their country is neighbouring ours!

I also think it's high time also that we took back Denmark and Finland, and even the Baltic posessions we once had. They're their own nations now, the buggers.

And for that matter you might as well take Minnesota while you're at it.

[Zilverzmurfen]

And for that matter you might as well take Minnesota while you're at it.

Nah you can kee...wait, is there oil in Minnesota..?

[scrapinpeg]

Thank goodness I rely on the Onion for my news, otherwise I'd have no idea what you people were talking about.

http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo...ming_falklands

[jeff]

Did you know that Trolls stand on bridges and charge money for allowing people to pass by....is that the reason we call "Tolls" on bridges in the USA "Tolls" ???

No, it's because in days gone by, when cars were infrequent, we use to give out delicious homemade cookies to motorists, the famouse "Tollhouse cookies". Where trolls fit in modern times is in fishing, as they invented the techique now called "trolling" for catching fish on slow days when hobbits and dwarves weren't available.

[introspective]

I kinda like that idea, we could risk taking a few little isles somewhere! Beachfront has always been my favorite. But we might not have to wait to grab an island, if we're smart as in Dubai, we might just build a bunch of little islands off out own [ ] Floridian shores, called Miami-ette and lease them out to billionairs.