The 'You Know You Fence Too Much When..' Thread

[MessiahFencing]

Every board i check out has something like it. Ever relate something 100% non-fencing to fencing? For me, I've thought of:

You know you fence to much when you contemplate spring track events as '1.5 strips, 4 strips etc'

You know you fence too much when you get a new shiny toaster, and think, hey, that'd make a nice blade!

You know you fence too much when your pet has holes in it and flick marks on its wrist / shoulder.

You know you fence too much when you watch the history channel, see a medeival sword fight, and think you could do better than the actors.

You know you fence too much when you sleep with your fencing bag...(HEY! it makes a good pillow.....)

You know you fence to much when you start this thread ( yes i know its coming )

[UnorthodoxEpeeist]

You know you fence too much when you start advancing and retreating on the sidewalk instead of walking normally.

[Coldfire]

You know you fence to much when your friends ask you to go hang out and you say "Sorry I can't because I've got a competition. "

I definately read that somewhere on the forums before but it was the best one that came to mind.

[Beloit Fencer of Old]

You know you fence too much when, even though you SUCK, you can put a name to a face for every fencer in the nearest six divisions.

You know you fence too much when can recognize any fencer on the other side of an NAC based on the shape of their uniform.

You know you fence too much when you start gluing three black stripes on the sides of your dress shoes at work.

You know you fence too much when...wow...I can't quite see what that road sign says up ahead...wait, let me put this thick, black wire mesh in front of my eyes...*Oh!* "Exit three miles!"

[SSMSabreMN]

You know you fence too much when, while standing around talking to someone, you notice you've come en garde.

--It's been said before, but I'm noticing it in myself now more than ever...

[Rick Shellhouse]

You actually read and giggle at threads like this...




Rick

[larkmaj]

You no longer have left and right legs, but front and back.

[Go? Fencing?]

You no longer have left and right legs, but front and back.

You get confused which leg you're talking about because you fence ambidextrously.

[UnorthodoxEpeeist]

You know you fence too much when, while standing around talking to someone, you notice you've come en garde.

--It's been said before, but I'm noticing it in myself now more than ever...

I definitely have to relate to that.

[ParryRiposte]

You know you fence too much that when playing billiards you assume an en garde-like stance.

You know you fence too much when you yell "et la!" in a fist fight.

You know you fence to much when you realise that the only reason you have a job is to support your fencing.

[OROD]

You know you fence too much when your plan to get through heavy traffic envolves fencing tactics... I'll feint right, and then when they move to block me I'll disengage left and accelerate!

.

[OROD]

You know you fence too much when someone goes to shake your hand and you parry them with yours.

.

[chiiluver]

You know you fence too much when you signed up here.

You know you fence too much if LP makes you feel full of warm and fluffy feelings (WAFF).

You know you fence too much when you pick up any cylindrical object and start using it like a grip for no reason.

You know you *beeep* fence too much if you *beeep* start hearing things like *beeep* everywhere and start looking *beeep* to see if it was your touch.

[SSMSabreMN]

You know you fence too much when, upon being asked if tournaments cut into your social life, you reply rather confused "Tournaments ARE my social life!"

[Coldfire]

You know you fence too much when you DON'T look at the (traffic) lights because your coach yells at you for it.

[Beloit Fencer of Old]

You know you fence too much when you don't have a stroller for your children...you haul them around in a "wheelie bag."

You know you fence too much when ONE of your dress shoes has strange scuff marks on the big-toe side...hmmmm....

You know you fence too much when, in your house, wrapping-paper tubes NEVER make it into the trash in one piece.

You know you fence too much when, picking up your friend at the airport, he asks you to "pop the trunk," and you look at him askance. "You mean, the Fencing Equipment Storage Area? That's full!"

[UnorthodoxEpeeist]

You know you fence too much when you realize you have no NON-fencing friends.

You know you fence too much when you realize you're sitting in front of your computer thinking about what makes you or other people fence too much...

I think this post should go into the Game Threads section.

[parrythis]

You know you fence too much when your girlfriend gets you physically aroused and you respond by saying in an Austin Powers voice, "En Guarde, baby!"

[Sabresque]

When all your dreams are set at fencing tournaments or the gym

[chiiluver]

You know you fence too much when you get road rage because of somebody took your right of way.